Eliot had been avoiding his alternate universe space husband, but the campus was too small for them to ignore one another
for long.
⚠Characters smoking.
It wasn't the other guy's fault. It wasn't anyone's fault, but Ren had left the rooms as soon as that other guy had shown up. He figured Rey would probably understand, although he realized as soon as he left that he'd have to contact her to get back in. Well, whatever.
He'd heard someone say that if they didn't have keys they weren't going to stay and Ren couldn't hate that idea. He was worried about Hanna still, and even if Fen had been very Fen about the whole thing, he was sure it was as awkward for her as it was for him, and he hadn't even really seen or spoken to Eliot, although he had to know that he was here. After all, his boyfriend had made an appearance.
Ren breathed out, stood on the steps of the dormitory and stared towards the woods. The whole place had a very different feel from Texas, which wasn't bad, exactly. On the surface it maybe even made it feel a little like a temporary mission - someplace he wasn't going to stay, and eventually he was going to go home. If he hadn't kept running into faces that looked like Eliot's or Eliot's that weren't … well… Eliot - it might have even been tolerable. Especially with Rey here to talk to - to understand.
He tapped his fingers against the side of his leg trying to decide if he should just go into the woods and wander, or try one of the other buildings. The woods would at least allow him to gather his thoughts, he decided; Maybe even do a bit of meditation and hopefully not run into anyone.
Eliot left Butler shortly after. There was a dinner happening that night and a talent show, and while Eliot was happy to step aside and let someone else organize and prepare the food and the entertainment for once, he couldn’t completely stop himself from staying out of it.
He was not expecting to see Ren.
The sigh was louder than he intended, but steeling himself, Eliot stopped next to where Ren stood and reached into his inner coat pocket for his pack of cigarettes, lighting one with a simple tut of his fingers before speaking.
“You aren’t the first … partner of mine from an alternate universe that I’ve met at Derleth.” Eliot took a drag from his cigarette before politely blowing the smoke away from Ren’s face. Another tut, and the smell of the smoke would not cling to either of them. Eliot liked smoking, he did not enjoy smelling like one.
“Honestly, I was a disappointment to him, too. I’m not offended if you’d prefer some space from me. I am slightly heartened by Other Mes’ taste in beautiful men, so at least that’s something.”
Eliot offered Ren a cigarette.
The sigh had been too familiar, and Ren suppressed one of his own before turning around to face Eliot. But not Eliot. But also this was definitely Eliot.
There was a beat and then he reached forward to take the offered cigarette. “I don’t smoke that much,” he murmured. But the idea of having something in his hand right now helped. “But thanks,” he said softly.
So much for being alone but maybe this was better. Eliot was here and ignoring him forever probably wasn’t an option. He ran his fingers up through his hair and shrugged.
“The disappointment isn’t about you,” he pointed out. “I don’t know you - well, I mean I know you but not you,” he sighed. “But you don’t know me, which isn’t your fault. It’s just… how things work sometimes. The universe is shitty that way.” It was Ren’s turn to sigh. Eliot had always been beautiful and sociable - way more than Ren. And there was absolutely zero surprise that he would have a partner in nearly every universe he found himself in.
Eliot used magic to light the cigarette for Ren without fanfare.
“I’m not your Eliot, I know, I get it.” It wasn’t an opening for a conversation about Ren’s Eliot. El wasn’t sure he wanted to hear about the perfect husband version of himself, who hadn’t been completely shit to Fen, who somehow seemed to have it all and make it work. Who somehow was happy enough to actually want children.
If anything, just knowing about this Eliot made the magician more disappointed in himself.
“But you may be here for a few days, weeks, months. It should be temporary. So, if you would rather I make myself scarce, I can do that.”
But if he wanted to be friends…
Eliot left that part unspoken.
The thing, of course, was that Ren didn't know what he wanted, and the person he'd trust to get him through figuring that out, was both standing in front of him, and also not standing in front of him at the same time. He took the cigarette and lifted it to his lips as a way of avoiding trying to come up with an answer to this question for at least a few more moments.
He didn't want to see Eliot, but knowing he was there and not seeing him, didn't actually help. He'd done that the past four days and if anything Ren felt as if it had just increased the edgy feeling, the way he wanted to try to escape, and his awareness that he couldn't do so. One thing he'd figured out in his time at Tumbleweed was that sometimes stuff was terrible, and sometimes that was on him and sometimes it was just how things were, but rarely did pretending it wasn't there make the thing disappear or get better.
He blew out the smoke and looked at Eliot: really looked at him.
"Fen wasn't in Tumbleweed originally," which maybe didn't have anything to do with this, but also, Ren couldn't help but feel like it sort of did. "It was you and I and our relationship, and then Fen showed up. And … I hid from her originally. Until I didn't. And this isn't remotely the same as that, but I'm not sure it's that different either. Which is to say that making yourself scarce doesn't change who you are or who I am, or the relationship we don't have. And also, if anything, you were here first." He shrugged, cheeks feeling warm, and the edginess of not knowing exactly how to approach the situation still there. He hated this sort of thing. Eliot would be better at it. Eliot was better at it, really. He just didn't seem that bothered.
Sometimes, when Eliot thought of Fen, he felt a deep, enduring shame. The way he’d treated her, when she’d been his best advisor on Fillory. How he’d returned her devotion and loyalty with nothing remotely close in return. He didn’t want to discuss Fen. Margo was far more deserving. They both deserved some measure of happiness.
So Eliot tried not to visibly wince when she was mentioned. How some better version of himself was able to make it right, even-- No. He didn’t want to think about it at all. Ren’s subtle blush did not even register next to Eliot’s distracted thoughts.
“No, that’s not what I meant. I meant… if you want space, I can respect that but, if you’d like? You’re new here. So if you could use a friend…? At least until you can be reunited with your own… family.”
Normally Eliot was confident and self assured. This Eliot appeared to be lacking. Too tired, a little too worn down to fake it. At least he was trying? Or allowed himself some measure of long forgotten naivety.
Ren froze at this notion. He’d assumed, maybe because it was what he would have done. Turned inward and just figured out his shit on his own and give space because well. Just because.
This was… Stupidly it was what he should have expected from Eliot. Even not his Eliot.
He laughed, it probably sounded a little bitter, he couldn’t help it. It was both all too familiar and yet so very far away.
“I arrived on a spaceship in the middle of nowhere,” he told Eliot, by way of explanation. “And you pretty much decided we would be friends.”
He pulled a breath in, remembered the cigarette and brought it up to take a drag on it and shifted his weight, and he let that breath out again, purposefully releasing some of that weight. “Yeah. I mean…” would it be too strange? There’d been a period of time when he’d thought that he could pretend he wasn’t falling for Eliot. Here he couldn’t return to that, that particular cat was out of the bag, but… he sighed and with an openness he would have offered nobody who wasn’t Rey or Fen or Eliot: “I always say I want space but I don’t want space. But If it’s too strange I get that. And I don’t want to upset your, uh, your boyfriend either.”
“Tim is adorable like that.” Eliot wasn’t concerned. “It’ll be strange, but not too strange. Derleth is strange. I’ve decided to just go with it and whatever else happens.”
Eliot gave Ren’s shoulder a reassuring pat.
“There’s a dinner tonight. Your friend Rey is my friend Margo’s girlfriend. You should sit with us. Don’t be a stranger.”
Eliot smiled and the facade was back in place. Just as long as certain topics weren’t broached, he would be fine.
“When other Me saw you get off that spaceship, trust me, he was thinking about more than stardust and friendship. Just so you know…”
Eliot had a type. Or types. At least his alternate selves had good sense and taste.
"Yeah, Margo hates me," Ren remarked, dropping ashes off the end of the cigarette in his fingers. "Alright, that's a strong overstatement, but it is not an overstatement to say that I am not good enough for her friend, although maybe she's gotten used to it." Margo had been nice to him, empathetic even, which was like a whole other weird to add onto a list of weird. "But if Rey's going, I'll… see." Go with it. It made as much sense as anything while they were here.
Ren's lips curled up into a smirk, and he did look up then, the smirk breaking easily into that Solo grin that Eliot had been able to pull out before anyone else in Texas. "Oh, I know, El," he laughed. "I know."
But he wasn't here to get in the way of whatever Eliot had here. He didn't even know if he'd be around that long, and he couldn't really regret that in all honesty. As much as he missed Eliot and Fen, he also missed Hanna and the twins that weren't even born yet. They were a family, and maybe it had been an unexpected one for every one of them, and likely clearly as unexpected for Eliot and Fen to hear about here, but it had worked.
"Look, I don't know where you and Tim are," he said seriously, probably breezing right past every wall that Eliot would prefer he didn't, but it had occurred to Ren briefly, that all the ways he was aware of Eliot in the Force, there were more walls here than at home. It made sense, but Ren also knew Eliot too well. "But I hope he loves you, and if he doesn't that you'll find someone that does, cause you deserve that."
“I have yet to meet anyone that was good enough for Margo. It’s not a very exclusive club.” Mike. Idiri. Seb. Eliot purposely skipped over Quentin in that list. Did the relationship really count if it happened in an alternate timeline? He shoved the thought down and smiled until Ren laughed. His own laugh followed like a pleasant surprise.
When Ren brought up Tim, he tried not to wince. That Tim loved him was precisely the problem. Eliot cared very deeply for the man, and that was precisely what terrified him.
“You’re very sweet,” was all Eliot said. He didn’t want to argue or debate what he did and did not deserve. But it didn’t take an Eliot expert to know that in his heart, Eliot didn’t really believe that.
Ren scoffed softly. Turns out… he did understand Margo's instinct there. Tim seemed… well, Ren was sure he was fine, and obviously Eliot had good taste. But he was finding himself with more to relate to Margo with than he had before. Maybe that was part of why she'd been so… well, for Margo, downright soft. But it was neither here nor there.
"Sweet is not a word many people would use to describe me," he shrugged. He wasn't going to argue or belabor the point. He'd said what needed to be said, what he knew Eliot had to believe, as much as Ren had needed to learn it himself. "Villain, asshole, selfish, those were the more typical descriptors. From others anyway." Never from El.
“Well that’s just hot,” Eliot said, his voice dripping just short of sarcasm. Half joking or half serious? Weren’t they the same thing? It wasn’t really flirting. Eliot had learned his lesson after Ravi, he couldn’t compete with himself.
He paused, the cigarette made for a decent enough excuse as he took a drag and then exhaled slowly. As if Eliot could blow the weight of the world off his shoulders.
“I’m sorry you got dragged here,” Eliot said. “My condolences. But with any luck, it won’t be long.”
Ren couldn’t keep the smirk from his lips. “Bad boys part of the appeal?” He teased, not really flirting so much as… friends. Eliot had offered friends and it felt not easy, but easier than completely ignoring each other.
“I still don’t have a key, so you might be right. The other guy, the one that looks like you? He showed up in my room this morning because of course he fucking did.” Ren shook his head, scoffing gently. It had figured. He pulled in a breath and let it out. “It’s alright. I think Rey might have been glad to see me even in these circumstances. And if I do stay I guess… friends.”
Eliot made an approving sort of vocalization in his throat. Yes. Sometimes bad boys were part of the appeal, when Eliot wasn’t playing the part himself. He looked at Ren closely and tried to imagine if his villainous space persona had a Flash Gordon vis David Bowie sort of look, trying to imagine the clothing and the makeup that might have gone along with whatever the other Eliot saw.
This was better now.
When they were talking, Eliot wasn’t thinking. He didn’t have to worry about what this other Eliot did differently, how he might have been better. (A stable relationship with a husband, wife and children? That made him a better person, right?)
But when the two of them were talking, friendly, Eliot was strangely reassured. He felt like enough. At least enough for friendship.
“Face Stealer. Right. Him. I’m still not convinced he isn’t an evil pod person. You didn’t happen to bring a ray gun with you, did you?”
Eliot was mostly joking.
Ren scoffed at this and reached for his belt, pulling off his lightsaber, Ben Solo's lightsaber, and igniting it so that it hummed satisfyingly with the familiar blue glow. "I didn't bring a blaster, but I do have this. Admittedly, I'm trying this new thing where I don't kill people unless they give me an actual reason. And looking exactly like my devastatingly handsome husband, isn't probably one of those."
He turned the lightsaber off, and turned back. "Granted, if he gives you a reason - I'm here." He was joking mostly.
“Considering I look exactly like your devastatingly handsome husband, I appreciate your discretion.” Eliot’s smile was wide at that. He’d referred to himself as devastatingly handsome (along with fabulous, stunning, fashionable, and a few other choice descriptors), but it was nice to hear those exact words from someone else.
He jolted slightly at the light sword, and then was instantly a little jealous. Forget the High King Sword that magically gave him the skill to use it, Space Sword was much more stylish.
“I want one,” he said. Eliot wasn’t joking, even though it sounded like one. He was prone to dramatics.
"You've got to find a kyber crystal," Ren told him easily. "I doubt they have them hiding around here, but you find one and we'll see if magic and the Force have any commonalities or not."
It wasn't really something he'd ever specifically tried with Eliot at home. He knew it wasn't exactly the same - because Eliot hadn't been able to feel Hanna, or the twins. The magic could do a lot of things, even some things Ren couldn't, but there had never been any reason to figure out if a lightsaber could be built with magic and not just the Force. It was a question that suddenly seemed a little interesting to Ren.
"I mean, you know, assuming I stick around." Which still felt unlikely. He raised the remainder of the cigarette to his lips and took a final drag on it, before dropping it and toeing it out. Despite not typically smoking, it had been exactly what he needed. It seemed that even when Eliot didn't know him, he still could guess at that.
He'd stormed off from the dorm room, and he had no desire to go back, so he glanced back up at Eliot. "Have you eaten?"
“A kyber crystal,” Eliot said, testing the word. He’d never heard of it before, and being a physical kid, he was pretty sure he knew all about magical crystals, even from other worlds. But this was a space crystal, so more than likely, he had more to learn.
More than likely, without spellwork similar to the High King Sword, Eliot was more likely to cut his own hand off with a lightsaber than be able to use it effectively. But damn if lightsabers didn’t look amazing.
Even if Fen’s father didn’t teach her exactly how to make magical blades, maybe she’d still be able to assist in something like that.
“It wouldn’t be the worst thing for the rest of us if you did,” Eliot said. Now that they had spoken, it was an easy friendship. He felt a little like an asshole for avoiding him for most of the week. But perhaps they both needed a little time first.
Sadly, they didn’t have much time left.
“I have not. But I’d been avoiding the kitchen because if I see whatever kitchen nightmares they’re getting up to for the dinner tonight, my benevolent nature may force me to step in and save everyone from themselves.”
Eliot shrugged theatrically.
Ren nodded. “There are only a few places in my galaxy you’re likely to find them but sometimes stuff just showed up at Tumbleweed. Maybe we’ll get lucky,” he shrugged. But knew that if he stayed and if one showed up, he’d be fascinated by the concept of seeing what he and Eliot could do. Although he might be getting ahead of himself, since a project like that would require quite a bit of time working together.
Ren glanced around the forest and nodded. “I’ve gathered from Rey that it isn’t always this quiet.” He pulled in a breath wondering what that would be like if he stayed. He’d made progress, would it be easier to lose it here? It was a question for a different morning.
He tilted his head bemusemed. “Fortunately I’ll have no such benevolence. You want me to bring you a cup of coffee and something food wise? Stave off the generosity of the High King for an hour more anyway?”
At the mention of Derleth, Eliot nodded in agreement with Ren’s assessment. But why worry about that now? When they had this week of relative peace and quiet? The less Eliot thought, the happier he pretended he was.
But being referred to as High King? That made Eliot beam. “I haven’t been High King since I was deposed…” But he was clearly pleased to be remembered as such. Even if he knew he was better off as a diplomat and an advisor. Usually it was Margo, Seb or even Fen who people thought of when the High King was spoken of.
“But your proposed course of action is sound. Go then, we’ll find somewhere nice in The Green to eat.” Eliot had squared his shoulders, playing the part of High King just then for a lark, even presenting his ringed hand to Ren should his alternate universe space husband felt so inclined to take it.
And okay, maybe that was flirting a little. As a treat. It was more or less innocent.
“I know,” Ren said with a look that clearly said as far as he was concerned Eliot was always High King, which was reasonably true. There had always been a sort of irony about the two of them together, he supposed. But that wasn’t something that this Eliot would know. Which made any mention of it apt to require too much explanation.
The gesture felt so familiar, the hand presented equally so, and for a second it almost hurt, but it was only a second. Because it also felt a lot better than being ignored, and growing up the son of Leia Organa meant he knew the courtly rules even if he had largely eschewed them.
He stepped forward, taking it and bowing rather low, and taking the risk of pressing a kiss to those ringed fingers. He raised up, “yes your majesty,” was returned, just lightly enough that he might have been mocking, or not - it was difficult to tell with Solo’s - but almost certainly flirting. It was habit, really.
Ren dropped the hand and stepped back. “I’ll see you on the Green.”
Eliot kept his expression straight, eyebrows raised just slightly when his hand was kissed, as though yes, he had completely earned that gesture and why wouldn’t it be expected? But when Ren smiled, Eliot smiled. He appreciated the flirting, even if neither one would ever act on it.
He dropped character.
“I’ll set something up for us.”
Anyone else, and Eliot would have given very strict instructions about what he wanted. Somehow with Ren? He was pretty sure such instructions were unnecessary, and that Ren would see through any preening or bullshit.