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Mentions of loss of baby, spoilers for the last season of The Magicians
This was not meddling. Not at all. This was just Fen grabbing sandwiches and trying to track down a particularly sad-looking friend to share them with on the Green and possibly find out what she was feeling.
If there was any way to find out everything about Rey’s life in the previous world, Fen would take it but she knew that it all hurt her too much to bring up. And she really wanted to give her space but the recent tidbit about Margo and her that she got just made her even more curious about things that happened in this world. She knew Fen after all.
When she finally spotted the brunette, Fen paused, making sure she wasn’t interrupting anything important like a conversation, before she swooped in, curving her arm around Rey’s elbow. “Hi! I made us sandwiches.”
Rey had finally broken down and opted to pull on the blouse that had been in her closet. Bright yellow and decidedly not her style, it was a reminder of where they'd been a week prior and felt incredibly against her type. Still, it was clean and that was the contributing factor at this point. Determination had been in her steps as she left her room, hands moving to pull her hair up into a messy ponytail, with intent on visiting the theater. She'd grab a few pieces from the closet and not feel as though she were reliving her days from the Resistance.
She'd grown, perhaps, a little too used to the availability of outfits and fresh clothes during her time on Earth.
Fen's approach didn't even register until the other woman looped arms with her. "Huh?" It was automatic and she gave a shake of her head. "I mean, hi. Sandwiches?"
“Sandwiches! To eat! Well, obviously.” Despite the shit they’ve gone through in the weeks at Derleth, it was pretty close to impossible for Fen’s mood to dampen so much. At the end of the day (or technically, at the beginning of the new week), they were all alive and still together, and she had a hard time being upset over it when the other option was being back in her world where they were at New Fillory with a very limited number of people she knew.
“I wanted us to go out to the Green and have a picnic today. I think it’s been a while since we had some time spent together out there. You free right now?”
Rey's head gave a slight tilt. While Fen had been overly welcoming to her since her arrival, it did still throw her off sometimes. The question as to whether or not she and the other woman could have ever been close in her other world was a regular curiosity now. They hadn't been but she could see the potential.
Perhaps, one day, they would be.
But the Fen of this world was here and offering company. Given how Rey had been feeling most of the past two weeks, she wondered if there was something else at play here but slowly she nodded her head. "That's because I was trying to learn how to make hollandaise." Her nose scrunched up as she said this but it was clear it was intended to be a joke. "But sure. I'm free."
Fen shook her head. “No idea how you make that or what that even is.” Her knowledge on Earth-non-Fillory food was still mostly alien to her even if Josh had helped her out as much as he could in the years they were stuck in Fillory by themselves, waiting on the others before they time-traveled forward.
“But I do know how to make sandwiches with stuff that we have that hasn’t been used yet. Hopefully it tastes good. I mean Josh did teach me a few things!”
"Don't worry. I really don't know how to make it either." Her counterpart had failed miserably with any related to the kitchen. It didn't shock Rey in retrospect given her own shortcomings when it came to food preparation.
"What kind of sandwiches?" She asked as she nudged Fen with her shoulder and moved to walk in lock step with her. "I miss his little appetizers. They were always different."
Fen was already steering her in the direction of a clearing that she knew of, a comfortable spot they could sit in, not too far away from Butler but also not close enough that anyone can just walk in on them talking. She figured they ought to have some privacy.
“I found salami and mustard. And I think provolone cheese with a really good kind of preservative. I do really like salami though so I think it might turn out to be pretty good! And me too, he was always so good at cooking.”
"I like salami." This was more as a reassurance to Fen and was spoken with a grin. As for Josh? That didn't surprise her much. "He really was. He'd actually just opened a restaurant in town. I'd only got to go once, on his opening night, but I think it'll be a big hit."
She looked ahead to the clearing. "Were you alright after last week? Nothing too bad?"
Fen raised an eyebrow at that tidbit of news. “That is so good for him! Maybe in my future sometime, if we stay in New Fillory, he’d open up a restaurant there too.” Despite the fact that Josh was one of those Children of The Earth, it always seemed like he thrived more in Fillory than Earth. She wasn’t entirely sure what the backstory of his life was and if he was leaving anyone behind outside of their group, but there had been great things in store for him.
At least until she learned about the future in which they were overthrown and killed.
“Yeah, I’m okay now but I still don’t know what happened to make me miss the entire end of the week after the attack.” She still wasn’t sure if she had died or was just knocked out and nobody could really confirm for her. “I guess it’s better not to dwell on it. We’re here. We’re whole.”
"Maybe," she agreed. New Fillory was still such an odd concept to Rey. She'd known others had gotten memories just before she'd come here but she didn't know the extent of it all. It'd all been fairly personal and given in tidbits. She had known Josh had gotten some sort of memories just before but she didn't know what they'd been and only that he'd been acting differently. She just hoped it wasn't anything terrible like the news involving the Monster or what happened to Quentin.
Rey gave a subtle nod. She'd not known what had occurred to Fen during the attacks. She'd been so focused on trying to find a hideout the first day they were truly themselves and trying to find a way to break Ikol from the spell. It had all backfired on her and having asked the question, she now realized it may have been getting too close to the uncomfortable feelings she felt herself about those final days. "Yes. I guess."
Rey wasn't very good at following that advice however. She was trying not to and admittedly? Her complicated feelings about what she'd done had been pushed to the side for the more immediate and raw ones on the first night. "It's quiet this week. It feels strange after all the other weeks." Rey'd only been here for a handful but the standstill? It made her uneasy.
“It kind of is,” Fen started, wrinkling her nose slightly as she glanced in the general direction of the monolith. It was hard not to detect where it was when all of that week it first cropped up felt like it was watching her subtly. It was a feeling that was well known across the campus with the other residents too. “But we have had weeks like this before. Nothing really happened, just a bunch of white space. I think after the week we had with those monsters, I’ll never complain about another week again.”
She took note of that. If she were thinking of this latest venture in her travels through the multiverse as something orchestrated and manipulated in a purposeful way, by forces unknown, it didn't surprise her that there was weeks of stillness. It lured people into a false sense of security. Maybe that was the intent. She pulled in a breath and nodded in agreement to Fen's statement. "I can't say I blame you for that stance."
“Yeah,” Fen simply added before she pointed out a good enough spot nearby. She didn’t intend to go too far into the woods anyway. From her bag, she pulled out a spare sheet from the dorm rooms and spread them out on the smoothest part of the floor she could find, before she deposited the rest of the bag and signalled for Rey to sit down. “I also found two juice boxes, by the way. If we had enough booze, we might have been able to make mimosas but… maybe next time we land in a relatively safe place?”
"You are spoiling me," she said with a bit of cheek as she watched the other woman spread out the blanket. She'd done the picnic outings a few times over the years but largely related to her bonfires with Poe and Finn. Leo's graduation party also came to mind. She bent down to sit before pulling her knees up against her chest. One arm looped around them and she leaned against her gloved hand. "Oh! Mimosas are nice but honestly the juice box sounds perfect by itself."
With a nod of her head, "It seems like people are going to make alcohol a priority. Meanwhile I'm going to hit up the surplus stores." This was said with a bit of a laugh.
Fen gave a shrug as she took out the sandwiches wrapped in foil. She gave one to Rey as she said, “Apparently it makes the tragedy of staying here tolerable!” After she’d handed over a juice box as well, she crossed her legs and settled down, unwrapping her sandwich. “I, in the meantime, have mixed feelings. Maybe I’m being overly optimistic though, but I’m glad we have the people we do here.”
"That's just another way to color a vice," she said, rather quietly, but without much judgment in her tone. It wasn't as though she hadn't turned to spirits on occasion. Rarely, though. She took the juice box and delighted with the simple joy of inserting the straw through the foil covering.
She'd been focused on that when Fen's words were spoken and she found she squeezed the container a little in response to the simple fact that she couldn't agree. "Ah, shit, shit..." She said as she shifted, passing the box to her gloved hand before lifting the other to suck the juice from the edges of her fingers. "Right, I..." She tried before letting her hand fall. "...There's a lot of people here to be glad about."
Nice. Simple. Diplomatic. She thought it came across well.
Fen raised an eyebrow slightly but simply grabbed a napkin from her bag and held it out for her (she thought of everything, thankfully). “I mean, maybe not all of them. It would be nice if Josh was here. Like he’s my Fillorian bestie without even actually being Fillorian, you know? But I also think that would cause enough awkwardness between us because of the fact that he’s in love with Margo and Margo… is obviously not.”
She paused before adding “well, at least not the Margo who is with us here.”
Rey took it from Fen easily, even though she'd already taken care of the issue before it was offered, and set it down in her lap. "Is he?" She didn't want to get into how weird that felt to Rey. She'd not seen Josh and Fen talk much back home but given how everyone seemed to be on different footing in terms of memories, and how they'd all grown so much over the years, maybe that was why there'd been a disconnect.
Still, her gaze lifted to Fen when she mentioned Josh's feelings for Margo. Hearing that Josh had a relationship with Margo had thrown Rey through a loop during her initial hours at Derleth and it wasn't any easier having sat with it for weeks. "Obviously not," she repeated but without certainty. She didn't have a read on this Margo. Not a good one, at least.
“Yeah,” Fen said, slightly absent-mindedly, as she took her own juice box and started to shove the straw in, having to place her sandwich down in her lap for a second. Then she straightened up and smiled at Rey. “But that’s probably a situation in which someone I want to be here is not here. Penny too. Either one. Some conflict, but I didn’t know him very well. Did you know a Penny too?”
She refrained from really telling her that entire story because she wasn’t sure if this Julia would want her future being known to anyone outside of the people who already knew it.
"There's nothing wrong with wanting someone to be with you. Even if it's here." She'd hoped for company regularly in her early years, particularly mourning the departures of Finn and Poe. Lifting her juice box, she took a sip finally from the actual container before she nodded her head. "Oh, yeah. I knew both. Though I knew 23 better. 40 left before I really was spending time with everyone."
And, of course, there'd been the whole relationship between Penny and Alice. It'd made it so she was spending some peripheral time in his company. "What kind of conflict? Julia kind?" She raised an eyebrow at Fen.
Fen had been in the middle of taking a swig from her juice box when Rey asked that question and the surprise made her choke slightly. “Oh, you know about that,” she replied weakly between coughs.
Of course she did. It was Penny 23. That was one of the biggest differences between the two Pennys, because she knew Penny 40 as Kady’s Penny.
At least Rey had been familiar with different timelines of their people, so the fact that there was a Margo who was in love with Josh wasn’t too out of the ordinary.
Actually, it was still completely out of the ordinary.
“Yeah, just… this Julia here is from way back in the past, and wouldn’t remember ever meeting him, and there was a version of Penny who was with Kady. It’s… I’m sorry, it’s just super complicated and I’m probably giving you a headache. And maybe a heartache and reminding you that we’re not your people from your world. And I wanted this to be a happy picnic! We can talk about something else!”
Rey cringed just slightly when Fen choked on the juice box. It hadn't been her intention to catch her off guard but she supposed it made sense. Rey was, objectively, a stranger. She could understand why it may be a surprise what she did know.
Running her thumb over the corner of the box, she nodded in understanding. "No, I know about the difference between 23 and 40. And I could kind of tell Julia was from awhile back." Shifting, she set the juice box down on the blanket and moved to cross her legs instead of holding her knees close to her form. "Timelines are complicated but I've been dealing with it for years. I can follow easily."
Her head tilted, however, at Fen's words and a brow raised. Fen wasn't bringing any heartache on but that didn't mean it hadn't happened fairly recently. "You are fine, Fen," she reassured her, though there was still a frown on her features. Still, she found herself asking, "Why are you worried about that?"
Fen only realized a little late that the word “heartache” was probably a good indication of what she’d been told about her and Margo. She paused, trying to figure out how to back out of this and decided there was no point. Margo was her best friend, it wasn’t too awkward that she had confided in her.
“I’m… because I know about your history with a Margo in your world. This world’s Margo told me.” She tried to smile reassuringly but it came out in a grimace. “She was just confiding in me and was wary of hurting you inadvertently.”
Even before Fen had spoken, with the pause in place, Rey had a sinking feeling and her shoulders were beginning to sink. It didn't surprise her in the slightest that Margo might have been talking about the conversations they'd had. Rey couldn't exactly blame her.
It was nice to have someone to actually confine in.
The only thing was that Rey no longer had that. She'd done so to a point with Eleanor and Ikol but it wasn't the same as years long friends that Margo had at disposal. Her gaze shifted away and the inability to feel those who shared her connection to the force stung extra now. What she wouldn't give to be able to reach out to Ben the past few days. She cleared her throat and lifted her juice box to take a drink all while refusing to look Fen in the eye.
"She barely knows," Rey said with a twinge of pain in her voice. She gave a shake of her head and then looked to Fen. "Is that why you wanted to have a picnic? To check up on me?"
Fen put her food and drink down, feeling absolutely guilty for all of this. She didn’t mean to meddle. She didn’t even think this was considered meddling but maybe she should have been far more candid about what she was told.
“No, I’m having a picnic with you because I want to be friends with you and it’s been a while and I want to catch up. And also, yeah, to see how you were doing. In general.”
She watched her with uncertainty still quite evident on her face. "We weren't friends back home. You and I." She set down the juice box and considered her words. "I think, maybe, we might have been one day? The plan was we were all staying in Texas. It's just that…"
Well, she had stayed away from Ben for so long. By the time she was actively searching him out? He was well into his relationships with Eliot and Fen.
"...We hadn't got there yet," she chose, diplomatically. As for the question of how she was. She didn't even touch it. Why make Fen feel bad? That was how Rey felt she was affecting the Magicians at large.
It didn’t pass Fen’s notice that she said nothing about how she was doing. That was fair considering she had just told Rey that she and Margo confide in one another.
“Oh, no, I hope I wasn’t mean or anything,” Fen said, wrinkling her nose slightly. “If that was the case, then I’ll try to make it up to you!”
"No, no, no," Rey immediately waved her hands and shook her head. "It was nothing like that."
She chewed on the inside of her lip for a moment as she considered how to be truthful without weighing her down. "I have a very complicated relationship with someone from home. And you were part of his circle when I first met you so I didn't try to get to know you. But I'd started trying and I figure if we are going to live in the same circles for the rest of our lives, well, we'll likely become friends."
Fen nodded. “That makes sense,” she started, a nagging sense of curiosity poking at her about her own life in this world. Was there really a point in being coy about wanting to know though? Rey was smart, she would expect Fen wanting to know.
“Was this person someone we know here? Or is he not here either? How close were we to him?” After a pause, she added, “if you’re okay with talking about it, I mean anyone would be if they knew there was a version of them in another world, but… only if you want to.”
"No, Ben is not here." Not feeling his presence, after several solid years of being able to easily reach out and feel him nearby, had been difficult. It still was. "And you don't know him here. For some reason none of you know the movies anymore and I don't actually know if you actually ever saw ours or not..." She shook her head.
Tilting her head, she hesitated. "I don't know, Fen. It's not your life here. Does it matter?" She paused. "I don't mean that as in I mind telling you. I just don't..." She frowned. "...I don't want to say something and it be hard for you?"
It was a valid point. She didn’t have to know, and she had a life of her own here no matter how weird Derleth was. “I guess it doesn’t…” she started, picking up her sandwich again but not right away. “It’s mostly just curiosity like what adventures did I get up to in a place called Tumbleweed, Texas? But as far as it being hard, well. I am fully aware I died in my future in Fillory. Got hung while Josh was beheaded when we got overthrown. Can’t really get worse than that!”
"What?" Rey didn't know about that and the shock on her face was very apparent. She'd only heard about Quentin. Her mind was immediately racing and trying to figure out if Fen had taken the memory potion back home.
Fen had been in a process of taking another bite when she paused. “Oh,” she said, a bit stupidly. “You didn’t know that part! Well…” Fen put the sandwich back down but did pick up her juice instead. “It obviously didn’t happen but it would have if Margo and Eliot didn’t manage to get us to travel into the future. The thing with traveling between Fillory and Earth is that time is a bitch. So they showed up back in Fillory three hundred years later. By which of course, we were already dead. So they sent a letter back to us to tell us how to travel to the future and keep ourselves from dying.”
She raised her hands with the shrug she gave Rey. “When I learned about it at first, it was devastating, really, because Fillory is — was — my home and I felt betrayed. But I think I was just happy to be around the others again, when Josh and I were waiting for so long. I mean… we initially didn’t think they’d come back. And then we had grief sex. And I became a werewolf that way.”
Rey's concern began to melt away with the nonchalant way that Fen explained the situation. And this meant, at least, her immediate concern as to whether or not Fen might suddenly have a memory update that stopped her life was close to a zero percent chance. Thank goodness. Sighing, Rey brought a hand up to brush some of the flyaway hairs out of her face. "Fillorian bullshit," Rey muttered with a shake of her head. She'd never even been to Fillory and she knew how fucked up it could be.
She looked to Fen and frowned with the admission. "No, I understand. It can be devastating to lose your home." But her surprise was quite evident as Fen continued.
Fen too?
"I didn't know you were a werewolf." She brought her hand back to slide down her face.
“Uh…” Just how much was Rey learning about in this outing? A lot, apparently. “Well. I guess I haven’t really been hiding it that much here.” She frowned slightly to remember exactly how many times she’d mentioned being a werewolf on the network and it turns out, it was probably not a lot. Not enough to be noticeable.
“I think the only reason it hasn’t come up much is the fact that this place seems to not have any full moon. And in the weeks when we’re some new place, thankfully, there hadn’t been a full moon. In fact, I literally haven’t turned since I got here.”
"No, it's fine. I just didn't know." She looked to her after saying this and tried to ensure that it was clear there was no sense of prejudice from her over this concept. "I've known a lot of werewolves and it doesn't bother me. I just didn't know." Giving a nod of her head, "Yeah the whole lack of a proper sky makes sense."
She pulled in a breath before thinking back to Fen's earlier statement. "But, you know, going back to Tumbleweed...we had adventures. It wasn't too different from here. We'd go places without much say in the matter but it wasn't as precise. We could be gone months and not know when it would happen again. So we built lives, you know? And you had one with Ben and Eliot."
Fen managed to finally get the next bite of her sandwich again and she listened to Rey. At her last comment, she smiled fondly. “Really? Married life and all? That sounds really nice.” Eliot, while not something she was romantically in love with, was still her best friend, and knowing there was a timeline where she had a life with him felt good. Maybe if she had that here, she wouldn’t have minded either but their friendship and his happiness was far more important to her than anything else.
“Good for Other Fen! Good for all of them. I guess, yeah, if you were there longer, then we totally would have become better friends.”
Rey hadn't been certain if it was clear she'd meant marriage and so she was grateful that Fen had put together some of the dots. With a nod of her head, and some of the weariness of this whole conversation beginning to dissipate, she went to pick up her sandwich. "Yeah. You three got married a couple years ago. Ben and I were starting to come to an understanding by the point but it was still a work in progress."
She took a bite and savored it for a moment. It was really good. The sandwiches she'd been making for herself had been far more simple. Setting it back down, she nodded. "I think they were happy. I really only ever had the best read on it all from Ben but I know he was." She pondered for a moment before asking, "I don't think it's just going to be time, though, that allows us to be better friends back home."
Satisfied that the conversation seemed to be going in a better direction, Fen also took a few more bites, allowing a bit of peaceful silence to fall between them, before she spoke again after a sip of her juice. “Can I ask what Ben was like? Like as a person and as a husband to me and Eliot?”
Rey faltered for a moment. Speaking of Ben was tricky. She didn't want to mislead Fen into thinking the man was something he wasn't but talking about him was always tricky. "He and I were on opposing sides for a long time. We didn't come to an understanding for years." Rey understood this was not going to sound necessarily good. "But we were at a point where I trusted him more than people understood."
This didn't excuse his actions in the past but she knew he had come back to the light and regretted his hand in his crimes. However, trying to explain this all, to someone without fundamental knowledge, seemed unfair to Ben. If she got a chance to live without people knowing her every moment in life, he deserved it too should he ever come. At least in specific detail.
She rubbed her thumb over her juice box again as she thought. "He was working on becoming better for himself while in Eliot's company pretty early on." Of course that didn't tell Fen much about what he was like. "He's quiet but can command a room with his presence alone. He's a lot like his Father, though he'd hate to hear anyone say that, and fantastic as a pilot. You can see his Mother in him when he's got bite to his words. And he had a thing for cats. You guys had so many cats." She shook her head before shrugging, "And he always seemed very attentive to your girls."
Fen had been nodding and eating as she listened intently. She wasn’t sure what this other Fen had gone through in that life, but she didn’t think things were completely different between the two versions so if this Other Fen trusted Ben enough to marry him, it seemed like he did well in making himself better. Especially if it was for Eliot. Even in a world where she wasn’t married to him, she didn’t think she’d ever be not protective over him.
“My girls?” Fen said, raising an eyebrow. “Do you mean the cats or something else?”
Too late to backtrack now. Rey hesitated some and the hesitation was clear on her face. She wasn't talking about cats. She took a final drink from the juice box before setting it down. "No. I mean daughters." She looked to her before adding, "Is that too much? Did I say too much?"
Fen blinked at Rey, her breath catching but at least this time, she didn’t have juice in her mouth to accidentally spit it. “Daughters? I had daughters? More than one?”
"Um." A quiet nod was given in response. She really hoped this wasn't something that would upset Fen. She didn't actually know how Fen may have felt about the possibility of a family before embarking on one. She understood people's opinions could change over time. "Fray and Hanna. You all adopted Fray a long time ago and then Hanna was just born about four months back?"
“Oh. I know Fray!” Of course she knew Fray. Rey also knew she knew Fray, but Fen was stuck on her latter words: “was just born”. Fen actually had a baby? One she hadn’t lost due to the trauma the fairies put her through? Or any kind of trauma at all?
“Hanna,” she repeated, staring just past Rey’s shoulder to the space behind it. “That’s a really pretty name.” One that she could definitely see herself naming her daughter if she ever had one. And she could see them adopting Fray easily, if she had let them. It hadn’t been a thought back in their world because she had a life. And she had a love of her own.
Rey was watching her carefully. In terms of Hanna, Rey had made a promise to Ben. She promised she'd always be available if Hanna ever needed her to be. They could never be certain what Tumbleweed would throw at them. There could be a volatile moment where the portal might make all of Hanna's parents incapable of taking care of the girl. While Margo had been named God Mother, and rightfully so, Rey had wanted to ensure Ben understood that Rey would also be there to step in if needed. And that she'd be willing to show her whatever she could of their culture from back home and the abilities they shared.
"It is," Rey agreed. "And she is a very beautiful baby," she added with a smile. She didn't know if that was something Fen would want to know or not but it felt like the right thing to say at that moment. "She's got so many who love her."
Fen blinked a few times as if coming out of a stupor. She practically was, deep in thought of the time she was pregnant in her world, and thought she had a daughter who just happened to have aged up quickly in the faery realm. And then it all turned out to be a lie.
She could never hold Fray accountable for that and plus, she ended up trying to help them by uncovering the Faery Queen’s lies. It was the most complicated time. Fen hated the faeries for the loss of her baby and had somehow ended up as their ally too.
But that all seemed like too long-winded and gut wrenching of a story to tell Rey right now, so Fen opted to give her a smile, pushing her emotions down. “I can believe that!” she said, hoping the cheer didn’t sound too false. It wasn’t entirely, at least. “That really is so nice to hear, that there’s a Fen who got everything she must have wanted.”
She glanced down at her sandwich and then the one in Rey’s hands. “Is it good? Do you like it? I know it’s kind of hard to mess up sandwiches but I hope it’s still tasty.”
The cheer didn't raise an alarm for Rey but the chosen phrase did. Perhaps it wasn't the intention but the way Rey heard it? This meant that having everything she desired wasn't an actuality for the Fen who sat across from her. Not wanting to force that conversation, Rey took the hint of the subject change.
"It's the best sandwich I've had in weeks. I'm not very good at making my own. You really did me a favor," she said, gently before she lifted her own to take another bite.
The relief on Fen’s face was obvious. Whether it was for Rey liking her sandwich or her gratitude for the easy change in subject was hard to tell. She could push those complicated feelings away for now and focus on what was in front of her. Rey and food. The most important things. “Good. I think it would be nice to do this often. I really do like talking to you!” There was no false emotion behind that, despite what their discussion was about previously.
Rey sat with that piece of information for a moment before she spoke. Her lips pulled in and her throat clenched some. Maybe, just maybe, this was truly what was in her future back home, too? Getting to know Fen on her own and being offered the same sort of friendship. Either way? Rey appreciated it for what it was now. "I like talking to you, too," she responded, before setting down the sandwich. She hesitated for a moment before, "Can I give you a hug?"
That surprised Fen but she willingly set her sandwich down and held out her arms for her. “Absolutely,” she said, letting her arms close around her new friend. Giving her a hug was easy; it was attempting to keep herself from crying that was the hard part of it.
Rey brought her arms around Fen and gave her a tight squeeze. If the other woman ended up being more emotional? Well, Rey wouldn't hold it against her because she knew how well a hug could be needed at times. And now seemed like one of those times for both of them.