Rey | Margo There is no 'if,' Margo. Margo, you are not cruel and I know you weren't trying to hurt me.
[...]
I spent all night trying to figure it out. If I was there as an active decision, it was the least painful option. Maybe, you know, maybe you were curious? If you were curious then that meant you at least see me here. I register. But if that were the case... it doesn't matter...you don't know me and don't know how I can perceive things. If it were that option then it was a thought of...did you not ask directly because you weren't sure what I'd say...and so the inclusion in a group felt safer? Even though it made me feel as though it was the most casual suggestion?
But that isn't it.
And the one I was afraid of was what this is. It didn't occur ro you. And why would it? That's not your fault. I just [...] it's hard for me to realize that without you meeting me and knowing who I am [...] that I'm not memorable at all.
[...]
Please don't
I don't have an answer for that. You were my best friend. You actively avoiding me? That [...] I think that would be the worst of all.
I don't mind seeing your messages. I don't mind seeing you hitting on people and making plans or flirting. That's [...] it was always a part of what we were. I never minded you being with others. I'm not [...] this isn't jealousy. And I don't want you feeling obligated to do anything with me. If you want to, then, yeah. We can hang. But I don't want that as an obligation or pity.
[...]
I just can't be casual when it comes to you. Even when we were casual, you knew who I was. We'd been friends for years and I trusted you enough to be in those moments. You were my first I can't imagine being intimate with you and you looking at me and not knowing who I am. I can't. It hurts enough without adding in that wrinkle.
[...]
I know this is a lot and I'm sorry. I really don't want you feeling guilty because this is a 'me' thing. I just [...] please don't include me in the casual outreach. Is that okay? Is it possible? If you don't think you'll remember, I meant what I said, I can look the other way and just ignore it.