Loki (fiorvalr) wrote in noexits, @ 2021-07-21 14:19:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread/narrative, marvel (tv/movies): loki laufeyson, the magicians: julia wicker, → week 017 (a sizeable problem) |
Julia is having trouble reaching things in the kitchen. Loki, ever the hero, helps her find the peanut butter. Then he escorts her back to Butler Hall so she doesn't get eaten by a giant squirrel.WARNINGS None
He was also annoyed for squandering a lot of his time in Disney World. Hindsight was always his worst enemy. He should have taken it for what it was — what he hadn’t realized until it was too late — a reprieve from the mostly traumatic events that Derleth usually tossed them into. Not that he’d spent the entire week wallowing or digressing, but he could have enjoyed his time more. He needed to do better at that the next time. If there was a next time.
But so far, other Loki excluded, this week hadn’t seemed to affect him. He’d probably jinxed himself by thinking that. But he hadn’t woken up super tiny (thank Odin for that) or super tall. He was simply himself, as he’d always been. And Loki was glad for that. Because it was nice not to be at the back end of a bad joke for once. Maybe the great arbitrators of Derleth felt a fraction of pity for him. Perhaps this was his temporary comeuppance. Maybe he was finally being given the opportunity to make the jests instead of being one.
He rather liked that idea.
He wandered into the cafeteria and through to the Dexter Hall kitchen. Everything was extraordinarily large and he finally understood some of the confusing chatter on the netboard about getting food. More than half of the residents probably couldn’t reach the counter, let alone the cupboards. And Loki might have laughed at that if he hadn’t seen Julia, much shorter than her usual stature, struggling in the kitchen. Julia wasn’t someone Loki would ever laugh at.
“Need a hand?” he asked. “Or a lift?”
Like a friendly offer? No strings attached?
Why did that still surprise her? Loki, or this version, wasn’t like the gods from her reality. At best her gods ignored humanity. At worst they didn’t. But Loki wasn’t part of that divine binary of unpleasant options. Neither was Fandral.
Her smile of acceptance was delayed but present. “Thanks. I’m trying to figure out what and how to get enough food back to my room to last me for the week so I don’t have to struggle every time I want a sandwich.”
Julia wasn’t much of a cook. She was a takeaway kind of person that struggled to properly throw away the pizza boxes when she was in the middle of a project.
Crossing her arms over her stomach as she tried to work out the problem, Julia looked Loki over. “Did you get taller or am I just that short? This whole situation is really fucking with my perspective.”
“My height hasn’t changed. You’re just short.” He paused. “Shorter than normal, anyway. But the kitchen is bigger than normal so … I can see how it might be a little confusing.”
For his part, Loki hadn’t really spent much time thinking about it. As far as circumstances went, this week could have been a lot worse. Then again, if he’d woken up a foot tall then he definitely would have lost his mind about every little — ha ha — thing.
But Loki always had a small edge of hypocrisy in him.
Loki reached upward, standing on his toes, to open one of the cupboards. It was still tall even for him. He could have used magic, but there was something to be said for doing things the old fashioned way. Maybe it was more meaningful. Or maybe it just looked that way.
“What do you want?” He found a bag of bread and took that out, setting it on the counter. Then he grabbed some random cans—vegetables in a tin were so bizarre to him. But Midgardians seemed to love them. He assumed Julia would be no different.
“The bread is good. Is there peanut butter?” She still hadn’t figured out what she would need for the rest of the week. For weeks, breakfast had been coffee. Julia hadn’t thought of Clint as a superhero but the guy who could be counted on to make coffee first thing in the morning. Now he was gone. Larry was usually around to make breakfast for everyone, but it seemed all the usual Void Week routines were interrupted by the size changes.
“I don’t suppose you really … cook,” Julia said. She wasn’t seriously suggesting he cook for her or anyone else. It was more like a thought that wasn’t supposed to be verbal. She tried to imagine what a god would cook.
(The only answers she came up with were dark, even for her.)
Bread and peanut butter sounded wholly unappealing to him. But that was probably the result of privilege. He’d grown up in a palace. The meal options had always been elaborate.
“I can cook,” Loki said after a pause. This was, no surprise, in direct contradiction to something he’d said on the net boards weeks earlier when a similar question was asked of him. But this time his answer was truthful. “I don’t claim to be any good at it, but it would be a terrible embarrassment to reach my age and not be able to prepare a meal or two. Although it wasn’t really necessary at home.”
But if someone could learn magic and spells then they could learn to cook. And from a very young age Loki took great pride in being able to fend for himself. So preparing food was simply one more skill to sustain what he knew would be a very solitary life.
“Can’t you?” Loki frowned. “Please don’t tell me you’ve been surviving solely on peanut butter sandwiches all these weeks.”
It wasn’t that Julia didn’t appreciate good food, putting in the effort just felt so pedestrian. Even more so now than before. She could have survived on just peanut butter sandwiches if she needed to. She didn’t care enough to try or bother with variety.
Disney had been nice. Same with Planet Vegas. Modern or recognizable places where you could find people to prepare food for you.
She met Loki’s expression and shrugged.
Which was not to say Asgard was perfect. It had its secrets and it had its deeply ingrained prejudices. Likewise it had its enemies and its wars. But compared to most realms it was utopia.
Julia gave him another one of those bland looks. Loki shouldn’t have been so annoyed by them, but they were beginning to grate on him. Then again, perhaps that was more a result of his inability to sleep through the night. The voice had started waking him at odd hours and once it started he found it difficult to return to a restful slumber.
There was a lull in the conversation then. One that Loki didn’t entirely know how to fill. He’d never been very good at small talk. “There are giant squirrels in the Green now, if you hadn’t already seen. You should be careful walking back to the dorms.”
“Then I beseech thee, God of Mischief and Deceit, to lead my wouldbe attackers astray and allow me to find my way back to safety.”
Julia smirked a little when she curtsied. It wasn’t a mockery, even if she wasn’t really praying to him. It was hard to categorize what it was. Flirting? Familiarity? Friendship? Teasing? Maybe a combination of the above.
It was the little things in life, after all.
“God of Mischief and Deceit and Your Royal Highness Prince of Asgard and Rightful King of Jotunheim, if we want to get technical about it. But I appreciate the gesture, nonetheless. Now give me that jar of peanut butter. You look ridiculous carrying it.” Loki took the jar from her hands, as well as, the bread, and hid them in some magical pocket within his coat. Then he grabbed a few things from the refrigerator for her, which he also concealed into an invisible space with a wave of his hand. Because Loki didn’t like carrying things either. He needed his hands free for his daggers.
Then he started for the exit. He even kept his pace slow so she wouldn’t have to scramble to keep up. Wasn’t that kind of him? Loki had his moments.
And he held the door open for her. Look at him, just oozing with politeness today. Must have been the lack of sleep.
“I don’t suppose your dormitory situation has changed, has it? Apparently everyone got individual rooms except for me. Well, and those annoying teenagers. But even that damn imposter showed up and got his own space. I'm beginning to think I offended the great arbitrators of Derleth somehow.”
Huh, she thought. If Loki had pissed someone off it was possible she was in the same circumstance. There were small coincidences that made it feel like there was someone running this place, that they were being tested. Could it really have been just luck?
She quickened her pace just slightly to keep up with him, despite him slowing his, it seemed better not to test the patience of a god. With the change in height, everything about Loki seemed more amplified to Julia; his presence, his charm, even the memories of what he looked like under all those fine layers of clothing.
“But at least now we have our own bathrooms,” she added. That was a vast improvement over the shared dorm showers of before.
Maybe this was the place he could finally be successful in achieving the things he’d always wanted.
On another note, however, Loki was glad to know that he wasn’t the only one sharing a room. Although, he supposed it could have been worse. Between the two Captain Americas in town, he’d been dumped with the more amenable one. Or, at least, the one who had less anger and resentment towards him. Still, it could have been worse. He could have been in a room with that one-armed derelict. Or with Mrs. What’s-Her-Name Stark. Or Jaskier, who Loki assumed spent every evening crooning off key. Or all of them together in one space.
Loki cringed at the thought.
“Good point. That is something to be grateful for. And perhaps if we continue to play the Derleth game, they’ll even bless us with little cottages and tiny gardens.” The sarcasm was pervasive. But underneath it there was a little bit of longing. Loki pretended like he hated Derleth, but it was a step up from where he’d been before.
A giant squirrel ran out of the Green and crossed in front of them. Loki slowed to a stop, putting himself in front of Julia until it ran off behind one of the nearby buildings. Then he stepped back to the side and continued his slow gait. “I never thought I’d say it, but I actually rather miss last week.”
Perhaps she was only able to watch him so closely because of her lack of fear. She thought about saying something, commenting on it. Instead when the moment passed she stepped in closer and threaded her arm against his to hold on.
Instead she conceded his remark about the bathrooms, “Okay, point.”
The walk was much longer. First the expansion of The Green into a wooded area and second by its massive increase in size. It was amazing The Void contained it all, but then it was impossible in the featureless white for her to be able to tell if it had changed size.
“Last week was overrated,” Julia said. Was she saying that to make him feel better? Joking? Or was it what she truly believed. “Space Vegas was way less touristy.”
“That’s what I thought at first,” Loki admitted. He narrowed his eyes in the direction of the building that used to house the laboratory. It appeared to be missing. Or more likely, it was too small to be seen. “But later I was a little disappointed in myself for not taking the opportunity to visit more places.”
With his new portal ability the sky had literally been the limit. And it didn’t occur to him until it was too late that he could have spent the week visiting so many of Midgard’s less touristy locations.
But his memory of the beach with Julia would have to suffice. And it did.
“I did enjoy Space Vegas. The mobsters, in particular. They were fun. Fillory wasn’t that bad either.” But Loki didn’t explain why. Some things were best left to mystery.
The mention of Fillory brought her memories back to that night. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting. Certainly not the attention and care he’d shown her, the effort into her own experience. Perhaps a second round would give Julia the power she needed to right her own stature.
Then again, the size difference between them created a new set of complications to making that work. Julia pressed her lips together and tried not to wince thinking about it.
Although now that he said that he wondered if Derleth wasn’t listening in on their conversations. Was that how the mysterious arbitrators knew what to do and where to send them? Had he just jinxed them? Or worse, would Derleth do the exact opposite just to spite him? Loki really did feel like he was being personally antagonized by many of these weekly escapades. But Loki was also prone to thinking everything revolved around him.
Then again, to be fair, that was very often the case.
“Hopefully someone will resolve the height situation soon though. Too many accidents could happen,” Loki said, minding his step to make sure he didn’t inadvertently step on someone. He’d nearly crushed Sam on his way to the toilet that morning. “I’m sure Grandpa and the Ant-Guy are working on it. Watch out for that sidewalk crack. It’s kind of a crater.”
(Fillory has talking trees? LOL! Not anymore!)
She had to look up quite a ways to meet his eyes. “You’re kind of adorable, you know that?”
Julia gingerly separated from his arm to cautiously walk around the crater in the ground, adding seconds to their walk. At least neither one of them seemed to mind.
It was both a joy and slightly painful to see her express something so natural. But for whatever accidental thing he’d done to cause it, Loki was glad.
“I am not adorable. Gifts from children are adorable. Baby animals are adorable. I am a ruthless, ill-tempered god. Adorable does not come into it.” But when they came to another large crack in the sidewalk he stopped to give her more time to stretch her legs over it.
“No,” she said. Just casually. As if calmly disagreeing with such a god was no big deal. Though to be fair, for a wouldbe godkiller on a suicidal revenge mission, it wasn’t.
She didn’t just leave it at that, however.
“There’s a lot more to you than that.” Just matter of factly putting it out there. “You can be a ruthless, ill-tempered god. You can be other things as well, when you want to be. I sort of hate to admit it, but if you’re playing some sort of long con, you have me fooled.”
And then she sighed warmly and caught his eye again as if to let him know she accepted that. She accepted him. If there were consequences then so be it.
“I’m not playing a long con,” he said after a moment’s thought. And that was true, wasn’t it? Perhaps it had been a con at first. A fact-finding mission to understand this place and to understand her. That may have even been the larger reason behind his search for her shade—although his reasons for retrieving that had been incredibly complicated. But was he still playing a game? Was he still building up to some narcissistic purpose? Was he still searching for a way that all of this benefited him?
He didn’t think so. But sometimes Loki couldn’t trust himself.
“Not with you anyway.” There were others that Loki was absolutely trying to manipulate. Some more effectively than others. But not Julia. “You’re too perceptive. I don’t think I’d be able to trick you even if I wanted to.”
Granted, part of that was a lie, but it was intended as a compliment.
Then he saw that warmth in her eyes and felt strangely at peace. Guilty in a small way, yes. Because Loki always felt ashamed when he was on the receiving end of kindness. He didn’t believe he deserved it after all. But it also made him feel … good. Like he’d finally done something right.
Then he did something without thinking, which was always a dangerous thing. He kneeled down on one knee and kissed her. Nothing brash or impassioned. The size difference was still a little too peculiar for that. Just a quick and careful peck. Then he stood back up as though nothing had happened, leaving Julia to decide whether that was part of the con or something else entirely.
And without meaning to she thought about other things they might be able to do together, her mind trying to work though the potential complications, as if solving a much more complex equation verging on fantasy. She blinked and snapped herself out of it before being carried away. All from a short, nearly chaste kiss.
Maybe she just needed to get laid.
It took her a few moments to respond before she quickened her pace to catch back up with them. “I’ve been tricked before.”
She respected him too much to presume he couldn’t, but she wasn’t afraid of him. It really wasn’t meant to be some painful or tragic reminder of what she’d been through.
“I know you said there was an impostor on campus,” she said. “But you’re my Loki, okay?” If anything her high opinion of him meant her defenses might have been lower against the new Loki than they should have been.
Then again, she really had been tricked before.
Maybe she just found it more and more difficult to remember how to care. Caution wasn’t exactly a strength of hers these days.
Proof that Julia was right. There was something adorable in him. Or, perhaps more accurately, something that wanted to be adorable. If a man who’d nearly wiped out an entire city with an alien invasion meant to feed his own ego could ever hope to be seen as adorable.
The jury was still out on that one.
When Julia mentioned having been tricked before, however, Loki lost a little bit of that boyish gleam in his face. Not somber or regretful, but thoughtful. And slowly that faint hint of a blush disappeared from his cheeks. Which was probably for the best. The last thing Loki needed was for someone else to call him out on his feelings. He got enough of that from Fandral.
But it was her final comment that slowed him.
But you’re my Loki, okay?
He blinked and — brace yourselves — found himself at a serious loss for words. That was not something he expected to hear from someone like Julia. Fandral, of course. Perhaps even Natasha. But they knew him from his world. From their world. They knew his idiosyncrasies, his history, his patterns. Julia was different. She was an outsider. And she hated gods.
But maybe she didn’t hate him? Maybe he wasn’t merely a tool for her to gain power. Maybe this nuance, this tête-à-tête, this relationship was more than he realized.
That changed the dynamic in Loki’s mind instantaneously. And he rather liked that change.
“Well, that’s good to hear,” he said with a grin. Mischievous but also charmed. “Because you’re my Julia.”