Catarina (catdevigri) wrote in no_true_pair, @ 2010-08-03 14:14:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | ! 2010 eight characters challenge, author: catdevigri, fandom: original[navigator], pairing: marta/stuart |
Run From Empty Places (Navigator, Marta/Stuart)
Title: Run From Empty Places
Author: catdevigri
Fandom: Original - Navigator
Pairing/characters: Marta Duay/Stuart Mallory
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Word count: 507
Prompt/challenge you're answering: Marta and Stuart, I'll become what I despise/Living someone else's lies.
Author's remarks: A sort of what-if. One of the fun things about no_true_pair is how it can make you come up with completely different ideas.
"Those kinds of priests who use strange postings in far-flung places as an excuse to break their vows..." Stuart said softly, turning away from his closest colleague on the ship. "I don't want to be one of those kinds of priests. You know how it is, Marta. You know I chose God."
She felt her chest tighten and clenched her hands into fists in her lap. The tabletop hid this action from Stuart. If he was saying that to her, did that mean... that he had imagined becoming one of those priests? Was that Stuart's way of saying he felt something for her? Something more than friendship? What about her, then? What did she feel? "I...I know," was all Marta could think of to say. She liked Stuart, but was it like that?
They both looked away out the window, staring awkwardly at Le'Lingwa as they drifted gently in the orbit of the blue planet. "I don't want you to be one of those priest either," Marta admitted. Whether she loved him or not, that was a betrayal she didn't want to be a part of.
******
In the midst of a crowd, they found places and times to be alone. How did Marta manage it, Stuart wondered, discovering the emptiest spaces and corridors on the ship? He walked behind her to maintain the illusion that they weren't purposely meandering about together in case anyone passed by on business. He kept the gap wider to keep her out of arm's reach. Each time her little gloved hand swung back he wanted to reach out and grab it. He wanted to take her by the hand and twirl her back around into his arms. They were about the same height. She would put her hands on his shoulders and look right into his eyes.
Marta's walk slowed and she put her fingers to the glass. Her breath fogged up a tiny spot on the window as she looked out at the distant stars.
Stuart's pace dropped off accordingly until he finally stopped several yards away from Marta. He clenched his bare hands into two trembling fists. He took one step backward. This was why he couldn't be alone with her. She was so young and pretty and kind. In the empty places he felt the pressure of his emotions pushing him irrationally to act against himself.
"Stuart?" She cocked her head to the side, curious as to what was pulling him back. She had expected they might talk a little here and look out at the universe.
"I...I can't," he mumbled. It was difficult to meet her gaze for long. "I can't be here with you." He was afraid of his own heart- afraid of himself. Maybe he could understand a bit better now how Julian claimed to feel.
"Oh," she blinked slowly and dramatically, "Well then."
Stuart didn't wait to hear what else she said. He couldn't listen. He couldn't be there any longer. He turned and, hurrying, though trying not to run, he....well, fine. He ran.