Equivalent Pain (Original: Navigator, Julian/Marta) Title: Equivalent Pain Author/Artist:catdevigri Fandom: Original: Navigator Pairing/characters: Marta Duay/Julian Jet Rating: PG Warnings: angsty ^^; Prompt/challenge you're answering: Marta and Julian are faced with their own emotional upheaval. They turn to each other for friendly support.
"You understand, Marta. I can tell." Julian was surprised to realize it. The revelation smacked him in the face like a frozen fish in some terrible Monty Python skit. Stuart was the one who always spoke to him of understanding and tried to coax and pry his way into his heart and mind. Marta, showing herself to be a true diplomat, usually didn't force things. She left him alone. But this time, she had wanted to talk to someone she thought was feeling the same as her, so she had slunk down to the infirmary and promptly spilled her guts for him without any prompting, about Leona and what had happened on that asteroid, what she had done and what she hadn't done, and Julian had listened carefully to all of it (he much preferred listening to talking) and when she was finished he was taken aback. Because as much as two people could, they felt the same. Stuart had been flattering himself thinking he could force this kind of bond. Marta had been nothing but natural.
"You do?" She raised her tear-reddened eyes and actually smiled a little. There was nothing so important to people as compassion, or so he'd learned. This once, he was going to be the one extending a gentle hand, not the other way around. It wasn't to say he couldn't use one, but he was sure that he could form a bond of mutual support with Marta. Building bridges. That was what diplomacy was all about, wasn't it?
A show of vulnerability was required. As much as he hated to make himself weak, he would trust Marta's kindness. She would not do anything to hurt him purposefully. An exchange was necessary. An equivalent exchange, or something close to one. "I feel like it was my fault she died," he admitted.
Marta chocked back a sob, clutching at the raw and tender quality of his voice. Usually Julian was stern or even snide, but this was light years removed from that kind of hardness. This was the gentle person underneath that thorny armor. The Julian that Stuart was always talking about. "Julian, you can't blame yourself for that! You weren't there. You didn't hurt her; you didn't want anyone to hurt her."
"No! That's exactly it! I wasn't there! When I should've gone to you, I was too scared to leave the infirmary! What about my Hippocratic Oath?"
"Julian!" she scolded and soothed him at once, throwing her arms around the doctor and squeezing him tight. He was a large man, but he seemed to wither under her grasp to the size of a frightened child. Marta's own doubts were just as large- she had failed in her diplomacy and now she had constant nightmares about the event- but as Julian squeezed her back, she felt a faint glimmer of hope that they might make it through this, clinging tightly together.