"I've never been the type of girl to open up, Logan. You know that. I like hidin' behind my walls." Except with him. It was always so easy with him, to be honest, to not have to pretend. With the exception of the day they met, there hadn't been a time she could recall when she'd had to try and lie or be someone or something she wasn't around Logan. Before she knew what she was it had been different. She'd spill her story to anyone who would listen and not shut up until someone went and told her to do so. Rogue used to be the girl who giggled and blushed. She liked to gossip and wonder about what boys thought of her. She was so far from that now, it was like her true childhood had belonged to someone else completely. At the moment, she didn't wonder if it didn't.
She smirked, rolling on to her back and pulling the covers down enough to let the top half of her free. She wore a tank top and reminded herself to keep her hands from roaming. Not that they would. Her brow winkled slightly and Rogue wondered why she'd even had that thought at all. Giving herself a mental shake, she tried to focus on their conversation. "I'm glad you can't read minds." Especially right now, apparently. That was a "no go" zone and she knew that. Nothing could ever be between them because he'd always see her as a kid. Even if that changed, it wasn't though she could really do anything in terms of a relationship.
Thinking back to the tags, she shook her head. Her eyes stayed on the ceiling as she remembered. "No. He thought I did, but I wore 'em because I knew it meant you were comin' back. That was a real promise, somethin' I knew I could believe in. Every other promise that was made to me back then was nothin' but lies." She didn't bother to hide the bitterness in her voice, though she wasn't entirely certain all the cynicism was hers alone. "Made me feel connected to you. Like you really cared about me."
The revelation about Jean had her raising an eyebrow and finally looking up at Logan. "What? Jean jealous of me?" That was hard to believe. "Jean was everythin' I wasn't. Poised, intelligent, quick, tall, thin, and gorgeous." Rogue was just an awkward teenager with a crush. "She could've had you. I knew you loved her. We all did. It was her that made the wrong choice." Another thing she'd never understand. Rogue had great respect for Scott, but if it had been her trying to decide between him or Logan. There would be no contest. "She was everythin' I wanted to be. Still feel that way sometimes." She went quiet for a moment, thinking about the day she'd gone out to the memorial stones and the feelings that had come upon her so fast and so violently strong. They'd all been Logan's feelings. When she ran her hands over Jean's stone, Rogue knew then how much he'd loved Jean from the very first moment. And it broke her heart. "You deserve a happy ever after."
Absently she took a small clump of her hair and began twisting it into a braid. He wanted to know about the nightmare, and she wanted to tell him. At the same time, somehow she had to figure out how to spin it into a half truth. So she worried her bottom lip briefly, quickly coming up with a story that was two truths pieced together. "One of the mutants that attacked the mansion...he wasn't exactly a saint. Liked little kids a little too much, if ya know what I mean. He happened to be one of the lucky ones I touched that night." She lifted a hand to look at the outline of her fingers in the darkness. So many people took their ability to touch others for granted. It just didn't seem right. "He deserved what he got."