She nodded solemnly, knowing he wouldn't like the full truth if she gave it to him. Maybe just the nod to say it had happened more than that one time would be enough. He was the one with the greatest hold on her, after all. She nearly killed him twice. Magneto was second to him, but that didn't need mentioning at the moment. "You were right when you said I still got a little bit of you somewhere inside me." Her attempt at a smile was only half-hearted. "Somethin' tells me you weren't expectin' this kinda answer."
He was all she had. Rogue let that statement soak in for a minute, knowing it was true on some level but rejecting it on another darker level. "I never told you before...mostly because it was inappropriate back then an' I was still a kid...but the last thing I thought about that night on the statue? It was those few minutes we had on the train together before Magneto tossed you outta the way an' took me. I thought, 'If I'm gonna die, at least I know I got someone out there who doesn't think I''m a freak, who isn't afraid of me. I got someone who said he'd take care of me.' I never thought I'd have that. So you were my last thought. I think I can tell you that now."
It was strange to find a kinship in someone from simply having memory loss. But knowing Logan understood perfectly what she was going through made it a little easier to bear. "I can focus," she promised with determination. "I'll do whatever it takes." She didn't care if it was going to be a challenge, either. It would be a focus, a goal that she could concentrate on instead of living in fear of the next time she'd slip away. It even succeeded in giving her a glimmer of hope.
"Not gonna lie, I won't mind havin' you here at all. Out of anyone I know, you're better equipped to deal with whatever comes up. And you do make me happy. Most of the time." A small smile played over her lips at her teasing remark. They both knew his being there would be a benefit. Good thing her landlady wasn't one of those nosy types who had to know everyone's business or she might have had some explaining to do. "Far as excitement goes, I don't know." Rogue laughed quietly at the protectiveness she could hear in Logan's voice. "Nothin' like that. That ain't happened for longer'n I care to admit. Won't be happenin' any time soon, neither. An' I might as well get used to the idea. Remy had alluded to something happening with some other woman..." And she hadn't been deaf to the whispers around the mansion. "Not like I'm gonna find a guy who's willin' to stay with me if I can't even touch him."
Her fingers curled into a fist just thinking about who the other woman could have been, but Logan spoke again to pull her from her own thoughts. She listened to his theory, nodding when he finished. "I guess that makes sense. It would mean the cure is just like any other preventative medication. It'll only work for so long, an' only keep workin' so long as you keep takin' it." Pulling back from the embrace, Rogue reached for her tea to take a sip before it got too cold. "How they can keep peddlin' this stuff is beyond me. They obviously know what happens when it wears off now. What are they gonna do, start makin' it mandatory for anyone who got it once to keep gettin' it? They have names and information on everyone who goes into those clinics. They know everyhin' about me." It was speculation of course, but something she could see happening. "This is gonna get a whole hell of a lot messier before it makes any sense, isn't it?"