Wade's life seemed absolutely perfect at the moment. He was catching some rays (energy saver bulbs count as rays, right?), catching something on the tube and drinking. Always a winning combination. He was living the life; And then the plot thickened. Dorothy showed up and wanted to know why no one had taken Sofia to get her pap smear and everything went to hell in a honey dipper basket. When little Cindy Lu Who appeared at the doors, he cocked an eyebrow at her question. "I'm not dressed as Santy Claws again am I?" The merc shook the mental image away and zeroed in on the extreme piece of jail bait. Wasn't it obvious, to even one so little? "I'm Winning. Duh." He replied, barely containing the snicker that came out at his celebrity paraphrase.
"Tabster! My buddy! My pal! My main squeeze! The Joanie to my Buffy Merc. How's it going?!" He slid to the side of the pool and caressed the surface of the water as best as he could. "There is more than enough pool and libations to go around!" He beamed at her then quickly added to the little. "Ear muffs." His attention shifted back to Tabby, "Clothing optional of course. Growl."
"Kit kat!" He boomed when Kitty showed up. He ignored her protests for the time being to add "Paddy Whack! Care to let this old dog give you the bone?" His eyebrows waggled under his mask at that proposition. "Oooooh ho ho ho ho! No you don't, my sexy little lawyer-lite!" He wagged a finger at Kitty. "I read the rules quite thoroughly and while they're a little Orwell-y-an in nature, there is nothing in there that prohibits swimming." He turned over in the pool to rest his chin on the inflatable side. "I had my lawyers look over it!" The sad part being that Wade wasn't lying. He had faxed the school's handbook to Teddy Buckland over at Sacred Heart. Once he got the go ahead, he set up shop. "So you can either stand there bursting a blood vessel or you can strip to your skivvies and hop on in. You better hurry though, the Angry Beaver's marathon is about to start!"