There was one thing Bedivere realized after defeating Evan in the tourney, and it was that he was undeserving of Kenzie. His pleasure over finally winning against Rosier was tainted as his morals and sense of right and wrong sprung up against the pride and arrogance the winning brought about. He really was bad. He'd looked at Kenzie, still smirking in triumph and was suckerpunched by the realization that she deserved so much better than him.
So he had ended it. He was doing the right thing. She would be better off with someone else. So he had walked away. He did all he could to give her the space she would need. He worried about her, and he still lover her so fiercely. He wanted to speak up for her, protect her, love her... but he had no rights to it now. She was no longer his. And he was left floundering in her absence. Feeling lost. He did not think Gawain was right, he still thought himself bad for her, but the thought of her hurting over him made him give in eventually. So he went to find her.
He arrived and paused, looking into the nook from a distance to see her. She was so beautiful, even sitting there looking as sad and lost as Bedivere felt. He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from rushing to her and grabbing her up into his arms once more.