Jason Penn - Arthur (jasonpenn) wrote in newdublinrp, @ 2018-03-29 05:12:00 |
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Entry tags: | character:jason penn, character:zel braddock |
Who: Zel and Jason
When: Wed night
Where: Undisclosed location
What: Zel need a fix only Jason can provide
Why: To forget her migraine
Status: Completed
Ratings: MA.
Warnings:Strong sexual content, a little violence
After Zel was done with Izzy, she had time to kill. So, she would head home after messaging Jason. Jason was a good distraction, when she needed it. And the two had been doing this little dance for about two years now, so it wasn’t anything new. Still, it didn’t mean she didn’t put effort into getting ready. But as she applied that shade to her lips, she stopped when she seen Merr’s reflection. A shake of her head made as she looked to that pink box.
Already opening it to see the supplies Izzy had all set for her, already she would take one of those vials. Her left arm held out as that Score was pushed into that injection port. Emerald eyes coming closed for the moment as she let that substance flow through her bloodstem and the effects take place. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she looked back at that mirror, just to see her reflection. As she came to step back, she looked at that set she wore and nodded her head. Her coat taken hold of as she grabbed her purse.
Instead of taking her bike as usual, Zel took the train to that hotel. She was the first to arrive as usual, as she ordered some champagne up to the room for them to enjoy. Once inside that room, she would come to look at her hair. She’d had it red all day, so for now she would switch it to that long black length as she came to remove that coat she wore, just to reveal that bra and panties set only with nothing else.
Her frame crawling on the bed as she waited for Jason to arrive.
--
After showering and changing, he tended to get sweaty at work as he got as much of a workout as his students many days, Jason hopped on the subway. He didn’t have a car, but then again he knew the White well enough and most times he needed to get from place to place he preferred to walk so he could sort of mini-patrol. If he needed to get somewhere quick it was the trains or taxis.
As he arrived at the hotel, Jason buttoned his dark blazer, beneath it he wore a dark purple button up, collar opened a little. He looked sharp and a little nicer than what he’d wear to some of the clubs. Stopping by the front desk he found out his ‘wife’ had already checked in… those at reception always seemed to quietly ask their relation by presuming them being married, as if waiting for them to deny it. Jay never did.
Upon arriving at the door he stuck in his key and stepped in, as his eyes landed on Zel a smile pulled at his lips. “Well, well, looks like they screwed up my reservation. This is my room Miss.”
--
Zel never paid any mind to the women at the front desk when she would take her keys and make that order for dessert to be brought to their room. So as she waited for Jason, she came to slide off that bed when she heard the door open. Emerald eyes came to look up at him for the moment, as she licked at her lips. “Oh.. I’m so sorry.” She said as steps brought her towards Jason for the moment.
“Maybe there’s something we can work out?” She added as she came to grip at his jacket collar and pull him away from that door and deeper into that suite they always used. Another lick of her lips made as she turned around and walked towards that bar, as she pulled him by his collar, like a leash almost.
Once at that bar she let go as she came to pour a drink, once facing him, she came to jump up and take a seat on that bar counter with her legs crossed as she took a sip of that drink as she watched him closely.
--
Jason ran a hand up her leg as he looked her over as if pondering his options. “Hmm… I’m sure there’s something we can figure out.” With a firm but gentle move he uncrossed her legs and took a step up to the counter, positioning himself between her legs. A hand moved up her thigh, slowly. “Perhaps an evenings distraction?” He asked with a smile.
At work Jason always had a lot going on, the community center was a haven for many kids all over the white and even the surrounding areas. But that was only the start. Running Camelot was like having a second full time job, ensuring his knights were trained, patrols were scheduled and completed and their territory remained safe. With the dissolution of the treaty things had only become more tense, What with more patrols and squires being prompted faster than he might care to normally. He didn’t want any of the other major five gangs, or even the smaller ones that were rising up to make a name for themselves, to think them weak or vulnerable. As always they wouldn’t be on the offensive, but defense was hard work.
Jason reached up and rubbed his temple, the pain starting to throb steadily again. “Lord knows I could use one.”
--
Just the way he came to uncross her legs and nuzzle himself between them, always had Zel biting her lower lip. The feel of his fingers up her thighs had her shiver slightly. He was almost as good as getting her fix. Almost. That sip of that drink taken, as she held the glass out to him to take. Fingers coming to unbutton his blazer as she pushed it open slightly. Emerald eyes stayed focused on him as she came to unbutton that purple shirt.
“I think I can do that, for you baby.” Is all she said about being a distraction. She needed one just as bad as that migraine was killing her. Least right now it wasn’t as bad thanks to that vial she took earlier. This little meetup they did every few days on and off over the past few years as their little secret. After all, if Camelot knew just how fucked up their King really was well.. It wouldn’t be good for him. Not that Zel really cared, but she held a slight small soft spot for the man.
So when she heard the tiredness in his tone, she came to push him back slightly. Her frame coming to take that drink from him as she pulled down that blazer and shirt slightly rougher than normal. Once tossed to the floor she came to pull at his belt as she brought her hand up the side of his neck as she gripped onto him and brought him down closer to her, the feel of her lips pressing against his firmly as she brought her hand up his thigh.
--
A smile spread into the kiss as he slipped his hand around her waist and with a confident strength, lifted her up, allowing her legs to find support around his waist as he took a few steps back- not breaking the kiss. Jason moved over to the bed and put a knee onto the edge. As he climbed onto the bed he leaned over, gently lowering her on her back. As he did, Jay broke their lip lock and placed a number of kissed down her neck and to that soft spot on her collarbone. “God you’re gorgeous.” He breathed as a hand moved up her side to her covered breast.
--
With the feel of his arm coming around her waist and lifting her, it was easy for Zel to wrap her legs around his waist as her arms came around his neck. That kiss never breaking, as she let her fingers play with the back of his hair. When her back came to press against the mattress and he finally broke that kiss, she whimpered slightly as she brought her legs apart to let him nuzzle more between them. The feel of his lips on her neck and collarbone had a soft moan escape her lips.
The feel of her nails running up his back was soon felt. But when he called her gorgeous all she could do was shiver slightly. Zel knew how to play parts, knew how to look certain parts as well. She knew the truth, she wasn’t gorgeous. She was raw and fucked up. She was bruised inside and out and just as damaged. So no, she wasn’t gorgeous. But for him tonight, she was. Always was.
Her legs came to wrap around his, as she shifted and had them both roll over, so she was now resting on top of him. Black hair had changed to the red shade as her hands rested on his lower stomach. Another lick of her lips was made as she bite her bottom lip, as her hands came to pull at his pants and belt as she started to undo them. “Tell me what you’d like tonight, baby. And it’s yours. “
--
The King had a very diverse sexual appetite, as diverse as his choice of partners. Rough, soft, private, public, it didn’t matter so long as he was satisfied. Sex filled a hole he had on the inside, one that seemed to drain regularly. Which is one reason he was grateful for his ‘friends’ like Zel. Someone he could call for a fun time instead of picking up a random at a bar- not that he didn’t do that plenty. But on days that were busier he didn’t always have a chance.
He let out a small hiss at her nails and a mischievous smile as she changed positions with them. Sometimes it was nice to be taken advantage of.
“After today? I need something rough, something to get the blood flowing… remind me I’m alive.” Despite the threat of war at his borders, each day seemed monotonous. There was a war, but this far it had stayed out of the white- which was good- but it made his days run together with nothing standing out. And his mind constantly thinking of all the worse case scenarios.
--
When he told her what he wanted, she came to smirk. “Baby, you know I can be as rough as you need me to be.” Was all she said as she came to shift from sitting on him as she gripped at his pants and pulled them down and soon off his frame as she tossed them to the side with the rest of his clothes on the floor. Already she came to crawl up between his legs as the feel of her tongue was felt trailing between his legs and soon to his stomach and lips.
Her frame came back to straddling his as she ran her nails down his chest once more, this time leaving those lovely red scratch marks as her other hand came to grip at his neck firmly as she smiled down. The feel of her hips slightly rolling against his in that teasing manner was soon felt as she bite her lip. “Now you know… If I’m going to be rough with you.” She said as she gripped his neck tighter.
“I expect you, to not fucking hold back with me. I want you..” Again her hips rolled against his a bit harder as she felt his length between her legs a bit more now. “Fuck, do I want you… I need you to make me feel just as alive and raw and as bruised as you want to feel.” How she leaned down to bite at his lower lip. “Sound good to you baby.?”
--
His chin rose slightly as she held his neck, his heart already pounding and blood rushed to his groin. Jay smiled at her ultimatum and smacked her on the ass before reaching under the fabric of her lingerie and between her legs. “Sounds good.” He said, slipping his fingers inside her. “A smile crossed his face. “Well, well.” He pulled his fingers back and regarded how wet she’d already gotten. “Looks like someone is ready.”
With a graceful flip he switched positions with her again and held her back on the bed, holding both her hands above her head with his one as the other moved to free her chest from its entrapment. He slid the garment above her head and out of the way as he firmly massaged one of her breasts. Leaning down, he applied a bit of pressure on her wrists as he kissed her lips deeply.
After a long moment he released her wrists and moved to remove the rest of her clothing. They had no props or toys- she was not someone he normally did that with, but they could improvise. He removed black belt from his pants and tossed it next to her. “Safe word?”
--
Just the feel of his fingers pushing inside her for the moment, had her moaning slightly, and soon whimpered once he removed them. Just the view of how wet she was had her looking down at him. Her hand taking hold of his, as she brought his fingers to her mouth and lapped at her own juices for the moment. “Always when it comes to you.” Is all she said before she felt her frame flipped and on her back with him between her legs again.
The feel of his hand gripping her wrist had her licking her lips as she arched into him slightly. The feel of his lips pressed against her mouth had her moaning into his mouth. But when he pulled away she hissed loud enough where he could hear her. The feel of her garment removed and her breast toyed at had her licking her lips.
But when he mentioned a safe word she came to look at him. For a brief moment she thought she’d seen Merritt. No.. Not now.”No safe word baby.” She said leaning up as she came to bite at his neck and lick up his ear as she nipped at his ear lobe for the moment. “I want you to hurt me.” She whispered in his ear. “I’m all yours to do whatever you want to tonight, Jason.” She said as emerald eyes looked up to him as she licked at his lips once more.
--
He grabbed the belt and looped it around her wrists and back through itself, positioning her hands behind her back. Oh, he intended for her to use it on her later, but first… a quick pull tightened the belt as he knelt on the bed in front of her, holding firm onto the leather binding. He brushed some of her hair behind her ear as his fingers took purchase and gave a firm tug, causing her head to tilt back as he took her lips into his.
Jason didn’t linger on the kiss however, instead pulled back and turned her around, a hand pressed between her shoulder blades to lower her face to the bed as he kept grip on the belt, keeping her arms straight. The position couldn’t have been comfortable, but that was sort of the point wasn’t it? To experience discomfort while experiencing pleasure? How the contradiction of feelings was supposed to amplify something? A hand slid along her waist, pulling her back end to her knees while her head lay on the sheets. As he entered her with a single thrust, not gently and slow as he normally would, he let out a moan. “Fuck..” He breathed, pulling tight on her binding as his hips started to move with force.
--
There wasn’t many people who could do the things that she enjoyed. Or many there was, and she just didn’t care for them. Zel had a specific taste. As filthy as she was, and as gutter as her life was, she sought after the privileged. For it was only the privileged who were truly fucked up. Having to play a role for society. Perfect example, Jason. Clean cut. Leader of Camelot. But he was just as fucked up as she was on the inside. The only difference she wore her scars on the outside for all to see.
On the rare occasion that, he needed that release, when he needed to be fucked up. A monster. Zel lavished in it. Because it allowed them to be themselves. Fucked up. So when that belt came around her wrist and constructed her arms behind her back, all she could do was hiss towards him. “Fuck.” It was painful. But that brief kiss made it all worth it as she bite down at his lower lip, enough to cause the man to bleed, even if it was a short kiss.So when she was turned around and her ass up in the air, she winced at the pain she felt when that belt was pulled at again.
It wasn’t until he thrusted inside her that had a louder reaction escape her lips. “Oh, fuck.” Is all she was able to cry out as she felt his hips start to move with force inside her, as her body was pulled back into his by that belt. Her fingers coming to grip at that leather strap as she bite down onto those sheets to try and cover her screams. Despite the pain she felt, it was obvious with how wet she was, that she was turned on by the whole incident. By him.
--
He tasted the metallic taste of blood from where she’d bit his lip, thankfully he it wasn’t uncommon for him to have scrapes and cuts from his job, so most damaged she’d do to him would be easy to talk off.
He grunted a he continued to move deep inside her, the one thing he’d learned in all his years trying to fill that hole inside was stamina. Sure, sometimes a quicky was good, but in cases like that night, the longer the better. His hand poised at her hip to keep himself stabilized, rose back and connected with skin with a crack. “That good.” He told her more than asked. “Feeling alive yet?”
Pulling out, still hard, he released the belt, allowing her to free her hands with the slack as he rolled her over and placed a hand on either side of her shoulder as he leaned over her. His breathing was quick as he looked down over her. His blue eyes seemed to ask her to make the next move, as if to say ‘don’t make me ask’.
--
It was fucked up. The whole scene was fucked up. But as he pushed deeper inside her, all Zel could do was cry out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. So when he asked his question on if she felt alive all she could do was cry out again. “Fuck..You..” Is all she was able to say. But as he pulled out she growled as she looked back at him, the feel of her hands released and that ache more visible.
Still, as they rolled over and he looked over at her with that face, she licked at her lips. Her hands coming to his chest as she shoved him to the side and forced him on his back, that belt within her grasp as she looked down at him with emerald eyes. Her fingers coming down the side of his face as she gripped his neck. But she knew that wouldn’t be enough, so as she pulled her hand away that belt came to loop around his neck.
The feel of his length pushing inside her as she moaned out again, the feel of her hips rocking front and back as she came o wrap that belt around her hand and she yanked and had it tighten around his neck. “Fuck… you’re so hard… Is this what.. You like baby..” Her words left in breathes as she rode him faster, all the while still pulling at that belt to tighten around his neck.
--
His eyes were hungry for her and as the leather slipped around his neck and she got on top of him, if possible he was even harder than before. He let out a moan in chorus with hers as she took all of him. His chin raised slightly as the belt pulled tighter. The pain was intense, but he didn’t fight it as he let her ride because the pleasure she was sending through him was just as intense. The two feelings mingled into something altogether different. The hole inside seemed to fill the longer they went at it.
But at some point after the uphill climb to pleasure, release was just over the ridge. He grasped her hand to silently tell her not to let up as at that moment all he could really do was grunt between the pleasure and restriction. He placed the other hand on her hips and once again swapped places with her, this time however, he kept her on her side, a leg coming over his shoulder as he continued where she’d left off- all without separating them.
His face was red as she pulled hard on the belt and some white veins could be seen on his neck as he let out a grunted moan. The swirl of pleasure and pain tipped him over the edge and sweet release came. Slowly, he removed himself, tapping her hand to release the belt as he struggled to catch his breath again. He’d filled her up, thankfully having taken Steraliz before he arrived. As he panted, he fell to the bed, clean up could happen later.
--
When he switched positions with her again, and had her leg over his shoulder all Zel could do was cry out more. That grip still held on that belt as she tighten it more and more with each thrust he gave into her. So when she felt that release enter her, she could help but arch her frame slightly as she felt her own release quickly follow. It was usually the same, the two would climax at the same time.
So when his hand came to tap hers, she simply let go of that belt and pulled it off his neck. As he fell onto the bed, Zel simply turned over to wrap her leg over his as she came run her fingers along that visible belt mark on his neck, her own mark on her wrist seen as she looked at them as well. As she swallowed down, she came to have emerald eyes look over at Jason for the moment. “We really… Need to do this more often.” She said between breathes as she came to bite at his jawline in an almost playful manner, but quickly pulled away from him as she sat up.
Arms resting over her knees as she glanced towards that mirror towards her reflection. Least it was her looking at herself.
--
Jason chuckled slightly, slipping an arm behind his head- revealing the borromean
ring tattoo on his inner arm. His blue eyes watched as she sat up. “Too much and I don’t think I’ll be able to lie about the marks at work anymore.” He joked. Honestly he wasn’t sure if she meant the rough stuff, or getting together in general. The later of which scratched at him a little as he already saw her more than he saw his other regulars. Though she didn’t really strike him as the kind to mind an open relationship. Internally he shook his head. “I will admit…” He said, reaching up with the other hand to gently run his fingers over his neck. “I think I almost passed out this time.”
--
She came to glance back as him as red hair turned blonde to her natural color as she came to look at his arm for the moment. She’d always see the tattoo but never said anything on it. “So don’t.” She replied with a light shrug of her shoulders. “They ask, say you got them from sex.” She said shrugging again. No one needed to know with who. In all reality it as the main reason Zel never let anyone know she was sleeping with Jason, because of the war going on within the gangs again. Other wise...Maybe just maybe…
She came to look at him as she shook her head thinking for the moment. “Almost? I’ll have to make sure next time you do pass out.” She said with a smirk as she leaned down into his chest and touched at his tattoo. “What’s the meaning.” She asked. The two never really talked, but Zel was feeling off lately, so it made her act slightly different which she never noticed. Her finger coming to trail up and down his arm for the moment as emerald eyes came to look at his blues for the moment.
--
“Somehow I don’t think that reason is going to fly with the kids.” He chuckled, that was the most he’d ever said about his line of work. Jay’s eyes glanced to the tattoo on his upper inner arm and shook his head slightly. “It’s borromean rings, they’re three rings linked and they’re only linked because they’re together. If you remove any one then it all falls apart.” He explained. It was something he’d gotten after he became King, something to represent the unity of him and Guin, his knights and his community. Without one aspect, the whole territory would fall apart. It wasn’t that he was against connections. He had ton, it’s just those he slept with typically weren’t the ‘approved’ type of connections expected of him. And much of Camelot’s success was carried by the donations from the community. If they didn’t approve of him, they wouldn’t approve of his group and then they’d lose all their funding.
His hand brushed some hair from her face, despite having just had pretty rough sex, the after coitus glow was quite soft and peaceful. It was a nice contrast.
--
When he mentioned the kids wouldn’t really approve of his marks, she rolled her eyes. But as she listened to him explain about the tattoo she couldn’t help but pull away again when he reached out to brush her hair from her face. “Fucking forbid your little knights find out the truth about you. Would really hate to see how they’d react.” She said as she came to shake her head for the moment.
Zel never understood Camelot. The other gangs she could get, but Camelot to her was just something she didn’t understand. She was pretty sure it was because she was just fucked. Or maybe it was because of her past. She was pretty sure it was both. But she came to look back at him for the moment. At this..King she had just fucked and choked with a belt. And she couldn’t help but laugh slightly.
--
He wasn’t surprised that she knew who he was, Camelot had always had high profile ‘rulers’. It was how they secured donors. Still, Jay’s eyes narrowed at how dismissive she was- especially since she was completely off base. “Actually I mean the kids.” He said, a bit of a bite to his tone as he he pushed himself up. A fight was not what he needed. “The majority of my day is spent with minors.” Jason had been working at the community center since he was in high school. He’d always been hands on teaching defense classes for young kids and helping adults get into shape. 70% of his students were 15 and younger.
He shook his head as he pushed off the bed and moved into the bathroom, the quiet moment had clearly ended. On his way he grabbed his clothing and from the pocket of his slacks he pulled out small bottle of Mezo and slipped one under his tongue to dissolve. This is why he didn’t do relationships. Wasn’t because one person could never seem to fill up the hole (well not entirely), but because his life had secrets and secrets didn’t work when you got close to someone.
--
When he corrected her and meant actual kids, she shook her head. “That’s fucking worse.” Is all she said. But as she watched him come to a stand and move towards that bathroom, she narrowed her eyes. Her frame already coming off that bed as she moved to follow, as she moved past the bed, she made sure to grab that belt as she came to walk into that bathroom. Emerald eyes watching him through the mirror, as she came to grab at his wrist and turn him to face her.
Her frame moving towards him as she shoved him against that sink counter. “How long do you think you can keep this up? Hrm?” Asking as she came to shove him back once more until he was sitting on the counter as her frame came to straddle him. His hands pulled behind his back as she left trails of bite marks on his neck. The feel of that belt coming around his wrists tightly as she tied off the other end to the fosit for the moment as she came to grip at his hair and tilt his head back to look at her.
Her fingers coming down the side of his face in such a gentle way as she tilted her head own. “See.. Unlike everyone else, I know you. You’re just as fucked up as me. And you like it.” How her hand came between her legs to stroke him for the moment as she bite at her lower lip watching him. Already feeling him getting hard as she smirked.
--
Fucked up was getting a blowjob in the bathroom stall by some twink who was blazed out of his mind. Fucked up was getting a handy on the subway by a stranger. Fucked up was needing those moments to feel fulfilled for just a moment. Consensual sex, even rough sex, was probably the least fucked up he was. He pulled on the restraints slightly, which just made him more excited. “I can keep that up all night.” Which was only partially true, his recovery period was quite short when compared to others, but tended to grow exponentially. He leaned in, as much as he could with his short leash. His voice was calm and quiet. “There’s nothing fucked up about two consenting adults indulging in a fetish or two.”
--
When he leaned forward, her hand came to his neck as she gripped and shoved him back against the mirror. “You’re right… There isn’t.” She replied as she came to bring her legs on either sides of him, and position herself slightly. Already the feel his length pushing inside as she came to grip his neck tighter as she bite her bottom lip. “Fuck.” Is all she said as she came to look down at him, as her hips rocked against his while keeping his hands tied at his back.
Teeth coming to bite at his neck and ear lobe. “No… A casual rough fuck isn’t bad… And I’m sure you have lots of pretty mouths wanting to suck your dick every night.” She said as she licked at her lips while riding him a bit faster. “But how many times have you actually...Let this monster inside out...to play with them… “ She was curious. “And you cheat.” She said grabbing his face. “Because you hold back, when I tell you--no, fucking demand that you don’t. Not with me.”
Zel had a look of pure desire in her eyes for the moment as she rocked her body more into his.
--
A moan escaped him as she climbed atop him, and another at her teeth as she sped up. Her words hit his ears and he pulled himself back to focus with a tug on the belt, it’s tightness pressing into his skin causing a small jolt of pain. “I need you-” He grunted, breathing hard as he looked into her eyes. “Bruised not broken-” Jay focused his blue eyes on her emerald ones. “After a-all…” God it was hard to focus and talk with the way she was moving against him. “You wouldn’t be able to do this… if I’d dislocated your arm.” Which was something he could have done easily if he’d pulled any tighter when her arms were behind her back.
His teeth gritted slightly as he moaned, head falling back against the mirror again. “And this? This is only you.” Sure, he’d done some light bdsm with others before, but the level Zel brought him to was unmatched.
-
Just hearing him moan had her licking her lips as she rocked her hips a bit faster. Just the way he felt inside her was enough to have her lose her mind. Even as she glanced to the mirror behind him and caught a glimpse of herself she smirked. Smirked at his words. “Baby… “how lips came close to his ear. “You can't break what's already broken.” she said assuring him, even as he talked about the possibility of dislocating her arm.
Her hips came to slightly bounce against his lap as she felt that release getting closer. Emerald eyes looking to his blue ones. “Bruise me. Break me. Im a big girl…” she said biting her lower lip as she came to lean over and untie his hands from the sink. “I can take it.” she assured him as she came to kiss his lips roughly
--.
As soon as his hands were free, he grabbed her waist and held her close, remaining inside her as he turned and set her on the counter. She’d feel the faucet digging into her back as he had, but instead of using the belt he grabbed both of her wrists and practically slammed them into the mirror behind her. His other hand grabbed her around the throat, a bit more imposing that it had been when their positions had been switched. After all he was much stronger and very much in shape. As he forcefully continued to penetrate her, speeding up as he was close to climax, he squeezed both his hands. Using his upper body strength he could feasibly crush her windpipe, however that would take longer than they both had.
His eyes were full of lust and the tiniest bit of anger. As he reached climax for the second time that night, he didn’t remove himself right away, and didn’t let her go. She was damaged, the whole world was damaged, but she seemed to think she deserved it. So he was going to show her what that meant. He would never permanently hurt her, but she didn’t necessarily know that, and she had called him out. “Is this what you want?” He asked, leaning his weight into her, causing his hand to tighten around her neck.
-
Just the fact that his hands came to grip her wrist and his body pinned her against faucet had her moaning a bit. The way his body slammed into hers as his grip on her throat tightened. But just feeling him climax again, and still not letting up had her reaching her own climax after his. Still the feeling of him inside her as he leaned more into her, had her staring up at him as she felt his hand tighten around her neck.
Her own hand had come to grip at his waist as nails came to dig into his skin until she broke it and felt that liquid slightly coat her fingers. Even as the act of breathing was becoming harder to do as she felt her face getting blue a bit she stared at him. “I..show me… who..you really...are..Jason.” she said through struggled words as she brought her blood coated fingers and hand to press against his chest and try to push him back slightly but not enough.
--
With a scream he released her. As her arms dropped, his right fist collided hard with the mirror right next to her head, the glass cracking slightly. His whole body was shaking slightly. “I’m not your enemy, and I’m not your lover.” Jason said, the words had a bite to them as his lip turned up in something like a snarl. “We’re just two people who fuck on occasion- and yea, it gets rough sometimes but I’m not your fucking therapist and I’m not going to be the one to end you.” He stepped back, removing himself from her. “So maybe get some of your shit worked out before you call again.” He said, softer. Jason felt for her, he knew what inner demons were like, but there was a line in the sand that kept getting redrawn and that wasn’t working for him.
--
Already her head turned away when he punched at the mirror. Emerald eyes watching him and listening. And when he pulled away, her lower lip was trembling, as well as her whole body at this point. But her hands came to his chest to shove him away from her as she came off the counter. “Fuck you, Jason. I never said I needed a fucking therapist. And if you think you’ll be the one to end me. Me?” she said laughing a bit. “You're fucking full of yourself.” Again she shoved him as she made her way towards that bed and clothing on the floor.
“You know what you are. You're a fucking scared little boy. Scared to be yourself because people won't accept you.” already she grabbed at her panties as she looked at him. A roll of her eyes. “Maybe accept who you are for a change.“ she said as she came to scratch at her head in frustration. “Fuck!” is all she screamed out as she looked for her coat and that one vial she had brought with her. Anything to make her feel better right now.
--
With a huff he grabbed his clothes once again off the floor and pulled on his briefs and his pants. “I’ve accepted what I am a long time ago.” Jason hissed. “And part of that is living up to the oath I took.” She knew who he was, cat was out of the bag, there was no use hiding it anymore. “Outside of work I like to let off a little steam, everyone does… but they also don’t go into work the next day talking about who or how much they fucked the night before.” Granted Jay wasn’t completely deluded to not know that his practices were a bit more extreme than others… but that was beside the point.
He grabbed his shirt and blazer and found he’d grabbed her jacket in error. As he lifted the piece of clothing off the ground he heard a slight clink and pulled the vial from her pocket. As he stepped out of the bathroom he held up the vial. “Looking for this?” He asked. “You’re right… I may not be the one to end you… this will.” Jay said, tossing it at her.
--
She was breaking and it was starting to show the more he talked. “So that's it. I'm just a means of letting of steam to you?” she asked as she came to bite at her lower lip to stop it from trembling. But when he held that vial out she froze slightly. Already turning to look at him. “Give it to me..” she said as she watched him toss it to her. His words causing her to glare at him.
“Fuck you, Jason. You.. you don't get to judge me. You don't know anything about me to judge me.” she said looking to him for the moment as she held the vial in her hand. Unaware that she was already crying as she watched him gather his things.
--
Pulling on his shirt he shook his head. “Wasn’t that the deal? No strings, no attachments, just a distraction when we needed one?” Jason looked at this sleeve as some blood from his hand seeped into the fabric. “Fuck.” As he started to button up his shirt he nodded. “And you’re right… I don’t know anything about you. That was the point. But you clearly broke that rule by digging into me.” Sure, maybe it started with her recognizing him but she dug to confirm it. That put him and his community at risk. Put his people at risk. There was a war brewing again and he’d already lost one man to it… he wasn’t planning on losing anymore.
--
“You think I dug into you?” she said looking at him. “I knew who you were the first night we met.” she said as she came to wrap that coat around her. Her hand touching at her face when she finally realized she was crying. As she quickly came to clean herself off. She came to a stand as she watched him closely. Steps leading her towards him as she took his bleeding hand and looked at it. She didn't say anything as she walked off.
Coming back she pulled him to sit on the bed as she came between his legs. Already using that kit to clean his hand off of blood and glass. Once his hand was cleaned off she came to wrap it with the bandage that was there. “....I don't want you to go away…” she said softly as she looked down at him for the moment. Letting her lips press that light kiss against the bandaged hand as she moved away from between his legs to give him space.
--
He followed and sat there, watching her in silence. They had good times, and he did care about her, but she wasn’t wrong when she said they were fucked up. His whole life was a fucking mess. Even the parts that were organized seemed messed up beneath the surface. “So…” He said softly, his eyes ticking up to her. “What do you want?”
--
She came to take a seat beside him as she thought about his question. She came to exhale for the moment as she rested her head on his shoulder. “I”m fucked up. Broken with lost pieces and most likely beyond fixing.” she said with a shrug of her shoulders. Zel was aware of how far off she was. “I don't know what I want… No… I know what I want. I just dont think its for me.” she said looking to him as she placed a kiss to his cheek.
“What do you want from me, Jason?” she asked as she brought his face to turn and look at her.
--
“I don’t do… this.” He said, his voice almost a whisper. Insinuating what he thought she was trying to suggest. “I suck at this.” Jay had known her two years and despite everything they didn’t know about each others he still knew her, had picked up subtle hints here and there. He was sure she’d figured him out as well. “You may be missing pieces… I have a big fucking hole inside.” He said, pressing his hand against his chest. And Jason had no intention on healing it. Therapy could work, hell there was probably some brain chemistry altering drug out there that could help… this moment was the most real he’d been about his issues and he was not looking to fix them. Looking way he shook his head and licked his lips slightly. “We fucked twice…” He said, almost as if she hadn’t been there. “Really fucking satisfying.” The small smile on his lips at the brief memory of it was telling. “But odds are that on the way home, I’m gonna meet some hot stranger on the subway and either we’re going to fuck in the bathroom or I’ll get him to jerk me off on the ride home.” His smile turned to a scowl as he recounted the hypothetical.
--
She came to listen to him. Her frame coming to straddle him once more as he talked about what he was going to do on his way home. Her hands came to take his as he placed them on her hips to touch at her skin for the moment. “Jason… I'm not asking you to change who you are. I'm not even asking you to love me because I'm sure I’m incapable of it. I'm just asking for you to be yourself.” her hand came to rest over his chest where he had touched.
“We both have a void inside us. It's why we’re the way we are. And you know what.” she brought his face to look at her again. “Its okay. Its okay to be fucked up and broken and damaged. So long as the person you're fucked with, doesn't try to change you. I like the way you are.” she said with a shrug as she pressed a bit more into his hips. “And I like the way you fuck me.”
--
He pulled her face down to meet his lips, as he fell back onto the bed. Once again clothes were shed to the side, but this time things were a bit calmer, just as urgent and needy, but dragged out, more intimate. They always had the room for the night but had never used it in the past. This time they did. For the first time they fell asleep holding another person. Just two broken pieces trying to fit together.