During the war, Bucky had often wondered what his life could be like. Especially after he had met L.L. and began writing her. And when the war had begun winding down, he had begun to make serious plans in starting to court her, to see if they could work as a couple and perhaps one day settle down together and have a life and family. But that last mission had, so far as he had known for decades, dashed those dreams.
When Natasha had come into his life he had accepted that L.L. was lost to him and had tried to move on. But even Natasha had seemed to know that someone still had hold of his heart.
When he had first seen L.L. with James he hadn't been sure he was seeing right. The subsequent weeks in hiding together had rekindled his feelings for her no matter how hard he tried to suppress them. He still believed she deserved someone better than him.
Feeling her lips on his he relented, returning it gently as his arms rested on her waist. He still didn't doubt that one day she really would see the monster he truly was and run from him. But for now, in this moment, he chose to accept that she wasn't going anywhere.