Texting -Remind me to never interview with that one. -I'm horrible at cheering people up. Um... -So one of my fans outright asked me for a date. -And they caught my whole stupid staring at her -for like, five seconds. It's on youtube. -And when I said you were probably the only one dating fans -She asked for your number. -And I kid you not, I ask her if she's worried about getting burned -and she says "Difference between friction burn and fire burn -isn't much, is it?" -I stared at her two more seconds before bolting. -See? [Insert youtube link.] You're welcome. -I should give her Roy's number. He likes crazies.
-... Do you need imported beer? -I can swing by Germany.