Who: Barbara Gordon & Jason Todd Where: Clocktower When: 3/20 (forward dated to after Babs gets back from Blackhawk Island) What: Barbara makes an unusual emergency call. Rating: PG-13
When Zinda had touched down in Gotham, Babs found herself checking her gadgets, reading through messages, anything to stall standing up. The mission on Blackhawk Island had taken more out of her body than she anticipated, and there had been moments when she had had to swallow down her pain. She was capable. She’d been trained by the best. She could stomach it, but it didn’t mean that there wasn’t a voice in the back of her head wondering loudly if something was wrong.
Still, she made it to her feet, made it back home to Clocktower. Still in her costume, she made her way to the kitchen for a glass of water. As she set the glass she’d quickly emptied down up the counter, she let out a hiss as a sharp jolt of pain ran through her spine. She winced, turning to grip the heels of her palms against the countertop. She braced herself on them, holding her breath and letting it out in a slow and steady release until the pain went away.
As it subsided, Barbara felt a twinge of fear that froze her on the spot. She stayed the way she was, holding herself against the kitchen counter as her mind started to race. There had been the incident at her birthday party, but she’d gone immediately to her doctor who had given her the all clear. She had worked herself pretty hard on the trip with Zinda, but it wasn’t the worst punishment that she had put her body through. None of the logic amounted to anything being wrong with her body, but somehow, in her heart she knew to dread the next few moments. Her arms were trembling as she let loose her grip of the kitchen counter and put her weight back onto her legs.
They gave out underneath her as she collapsed upon the kitchen floor. Panic rose up in her throat, but she reminded herself of the party, of how fearful she had been then and the ultimately positive outcome. She turned her head to look at her legs before deciding it was time to get up on the floor. A strangled noise of fear escaped the back of her throat when they did not move. Suddenly at the forefront of her mind were those first few months of physical therapy--working until sweat poured off her body, feeling all the passion and tenacity she had bubbling up inside of her, being so angry at herself and the world when her legs refused to work.
She hadn’t thought there was a place worse than that--a place where her body would give her hope only to take it away. The doctors had warned her about it when she had first recovered the use of her legs, but with all the successes she’d had, with all the encouragement they’d given her since, she hadn’t been prepared at all for this moment.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, willing her legs to move once more. When they didn’t move, she let out a sob before pounding a fist against one of the cabinets in frustration and stoppering the emotion. Carefully, she started to crawl along the floor, dragging herself through the kitchen and out into the living room. She made her way to one of the hall closets and methodically moved aside her boxes until she could pull her wheelchair out. It had collected some dust, and though she tried to ignore it, there was a vice around her chest squeezing hard on her heart. She carefully unfolded the chair and then removed her cape and cowl so that she could pull herself into the chair without getting tangled up in it.
She needed to see a doctor. She needed to make sure everything had been okay in her absence. She was supposed to call so many people--Dinah, Ted, her Dad--just to let them know she was alright, and for a moment, she felt completely at a loss. She wasn’t ready to do this again, and what she wanted more than anything at that moment was to be able to call someone who wouldn’t burden her with their pity.
And just like that, an idea formed in her head. She wheeled her way towards the Oracle workstation, making a VOIP call out from a scrambled number to a number that she’d been holding close to the chest--Jason’s number.
Jason’s lack of sleep was finally catching up to him. He could normally muster through it, but between worrying about what was going on with Laura and trying to cooperate with Damian, it was taking it’s toll. Still, he sat at his desk with papers strewn everywhere trying to find out what he could. Everything led him to a dead end. Shep crawled up next to his chair and stood on two hind legs, wanting attention. Without thinking, Jason picked him up and sat him on his lap. Shep’s nose immediately went into the pile of papers Jason was trying to pick through.
“Stop,” he commanded, not having enough energy to properly reprimand him.
Jason was tempted to give up for the night when the dull screen of his laptop changed. Raising an eyebrow, Jason pulled it forward.
“Hnh.”
A hologram appeared, which was an unusual way of contacting him. Even more troublesome was not knowing the source. Silently, he waited for whatever the message was, hoping it wasn’t going to be some weird Star Wars shit.
Barbara had removed her usual Oracle filters, unsure of how much Jason had caught onto about that part of her life. Instead, what he saw was her normal appearance, weathered as it was by the current circumstances. She still had some greasepaint around her eyes from wearing her cowl, and she was clearly in her uniform. Otherwise, it was just her. She hoped reaching out to him like this would convince him because she wasn’t sure her emotions could handle a more personal plea.
“Jason, I need your help. If I give you my address, could you meet me?” She knew how fragile things were with him because of his meeting with Bruce and ongoing activities as the Red Hood, and all she could do was hope that he didn’t meet her with resistance.
Jason’s brows furrowed as he saw an image of Babs. He could tell right away something wasn’t right. His first thought was that she ran into trouble while out on patrol. However, she wanted him to meet her at her place. Maybe it was something different. He had no reason to doubt or mistrust her, despite questioning why she would call him of all people for help.
“Yeah. Sure. I can be there as soon as possible.”
He was already grabbing his jacket and boots, waiting for direction.
Barbara gave him the address and advised him to enter through the front entrance (manually disabling her normal security measures was more than she wanted to take on at that moment) before signing off from the computer. It was a relief that he hadn’t asked any questions. She took it as a sign that, in spite of what Bruce had said or done, Jason still trusted Babs. The major order of business that she needed to take care of before he arrived was changing out of her suit. She made her way back out of the secured workspace into her living room before making a turn for her bedroom. She quickly grabbed a change of clothes and tossed it onto the bed. Pushing herself to the edge of the bed, she pulled herself up on top of the sheets and went to work. She tugged off her gloves, boots and utility belt before reaching back to undo the zipper of her body suit. She had muscle memory on her side when it came to getting in and out of civilian clothes this way, but she found the suit took a painfully long time to peel off without the ability to move her legs.
It took her longer than anticipated, but she got out of the suit and quickly tugged on a sweater and jeans before taking her place back in the chair. She grabbed her phone from the discarded utility belt, checking her security systems for a sign that Jason had arrived. As she toggled through her cameras, she carefully tucked her uniform under her bed where it wouldn’t be left out in the open. She knew the moment would come when she had to put it away properly, but at the moment that was too mired in her current worries to tackle.
Given the nature of the call, Jason assumed this wasn’t a costumed ordeal, so he forewent the mask and hood and grabbed a plain black motorcycle helmet. If it was anyone else, he may have asked more questions, but he and Babs were quite similar in some ways. If she needed to explain, she would have. Plus, though he may not admit it, they were still family of sorts. Even if Jason didn’t want to go back there yet. He was convinced she was the only one who had a remote idea of what he had gone through.
He hopped on his bike and sped toward the address he was given. Once he arrived at the clocktower, he parked his bike in the corner of the lot and headed over. He took her instruction to go through the front door and waited while he was buzzed in. When he finally reached where she was, he was taken by surprise to see her in her chair, though he didn’t show it.
“Babs...” he said, more quizzically than out of pity, “What do you need?”
While waiting for Jason, Barbara had started to look up further into the current events she had missed during her time away, including Lex Luthor’s wild proclamations. There was so much work to be done, and she wanted to make sure Dinah was okay. She felt in that moment that her mind, heart and body were being pulled in three different directions entirely, and it was only Jason’s arrival that stopped her from breaking down about it.
She was still in a bit of a daze when he walked in. She lifted her eyes to look up at him. “Two hours ago, I was still able to walk. I’m not sure what is going on, so I need to get to my doctor.” None of the fear or emotion that she was feeling seeped into her voice as she spoke. “I just need you to help get me there...” She pushed her way over to the hallway table, picking up a ring of keys. “We can take my van...” She thought about how she had kept the wheelchair accessible vehicle, in spite of her miraculous recovery, and her hand started to shake as she held the keys out to Jason.
“Oh,” was Jason’s only response. Babs was very good at hiding what she was feeling, a trend in the bat-family, “Yeah, I can do that.” He took the keys from her, noting her shaking hand, but not saying anything. That was probably what she wanted the least right now. He took the keys and let her lead him to the van. There was a moment of silence after starting the vehicle. Jason looked at Babs and said, “Just tell me where to go.” A simple enough statement, but for Jason it also meant that he was at her disposal. He, for once, wouldn’t drag his troubles with everyone else into it. They were friends of a sort. She was one of the only ones at his funeral. And since he was horrible at consoling anyone, doing this was the least he could do.
Barbara gave him the cross streets, and as they drove, she was quiet, staring out the window and trying to make sense of it all. She frowned, realizing that ultimately the doctors would be the only ones who could do that. Instead, she picked a topic of distraction discussion. “I’m sorry. I think I picked a poor time to call you given everything that’s happened lately.” She didn’t want to take advantage of Jason, especially given his strange position in the bat-family, but it couldn’t be helped. She needed someone, and she didn’t think she could look at some of the others at that moment. She realized that it was Dick’s birthday--this time last year, they had been recovering from a terrible fight over her going back out into the field. Now, she couldn’t walk.
She took a deep breath, covering her eyes with her hands for a moment. She wasn’t sure if she was going to cry or be sick or scream.
“Hnh,” Jason replied. He didn’t know what she knew about the meeting between him and Bruce besides what he himself had told her. Either way, that was not Babs’ problem, “Don’t worry about it.”
There was another silence, but this one seemed to get to Babs. Jason felt like he couldn’t get to the doctor fast enough. Again, he felt it wasn’t right to say anything, so he merely reached over and squeezed her shoulder.
“My offer to have a sleepover and to make s’mores still stands,” he quipped, referencing a conversation they had years ago.
~
At Jason’s words, Barbara let out a little strangled laugh--the humor cutting through the tension of the moment and giving her some relief. The hand over her eyes slid down to rest atop the hand at her shoulder. “In your dreams, boy wonder,” she joked in return. It felt easy and familiar to rehash their old dynamic--to go back to the last days before his death and her paralysis. She studied his face as he drove, realizing how happy she was that he was there in this moment, how proud she felt. He didn’t have to be there, and if he’d said no, she would have been okay. Still, he came to help.
For a moment, she thought that it would be okay. Getting her legs back only to lose them again would be alright as long as there was a way they could keep Jason with them. Still, a voice in the back of her mind knew that--like her spinal injury--the cut that ran between the bat-family and Jason was messy and not easily mended. She remained quiet the rest of the way to the doctor’s office. “Thanks,” she murmured when they arrived.
Jason looked over and returned her laugh with a small smirk. For a short moment, they were young again. It was strange how natural it felt to slip back into that. He put his hand back on the wheel and continued to drive. The moment that they just had disappeared as quickly as it came. They both knew things would never be like that again, whether they wished it or not. Jason let out a sigh as he pulled into the doctor’s office.
“Yeah,” he replied, running a hand through his hair. He started to get out of the van, watching Babs closely. He’d be there to help, but he also knew that, even in times of distress, she was highly independent and capable and he didn’t want to overstep her boundaries. He did fully intend to wait until her appointment was over, however (unless she sent him away). No one should have to face waiting rooms alone.
Barbara let down the wheelchair ramp, exiting onto the sidewalk. She thought for a moment of sending Jason away, dealing with this next part on her own, but then, if she needed to go anywhere else after this check up, she would need his help again. The receptionist in the office gave a look of surprise when she saw Barbara rolling in. “I’m sorry,” Babs stated as she went over to the desk. “I don’t have an appointment, but I’m having a little bit of an emergency situation.”
“Alright, Ms. Gordon, if I can just get you to sign in, and I have a few quick questions for you, and then we’ll see if we can’t get you in to see Dr. Marco.” She rattled off a few questions that Barbara recognized as standard emergency protocol to make sure that a spinal injury wasn’t more severe than the patient realized. Satisfied that Barbara was in no immediate danger, the receptionist went to notify the doctor of what was going on.
“If you want to...go grab coffee or something. This is all going to be pretty boring.” Except medically speaking, it was going to be the opposite of boring. There was no good reason for her to be unable to walk.
Jason followed Babs into the lobby, but stayed a few steps behind, letting her take care of her own business. He wasn’t a fan of doctors and hospitals, mainly because the last time he was in one was a horrible experience. He only remembered flashes but, as he found out later from Talia, apparently he woke up from a coma and trashed the place before running out. It was then he realized how awkward this whole situation was, given their histories. He still wasn’t entirely sure why she chose to call him.
Jason shrugged when she rolled back over, “I probably will when you get called back. Grab some food. Do you need anything?”
When Jason offered to get her something while her tests were being run, she just shook her head. The fact of the matter was that this uneasy truce that was going on and the reason she had asked Jason to come help her was that he was probably the only person who could understand anything of what she was feeling. Bruce had watched the loss of that short, tragic time between Jason’s death and her shooting play out, but it hadn’t pushed itself under his skin or flatted his lungs or smeared him in his own blood or melted his flesh. She knew Jason would understand about the loss of self, the deep pain and Babs’s need to silent put it behind her at least for a few hours.
“There’s a sandwich place a block and a half due north. And sometimes they have fresh donuts too,” she recommended, idly running her hands over the tops of her thighs as if she expected to suddenly feel the sensation again and jump out of the chair. A few short minutes later, and she could hear the doctor and the receptionist exchanging words. The door to the examination rooms opened, and while Dr. Marco had a calm look on his face, his eyes fell to Barbara immediately. “Good morning, Barbara--let’s take a look at what’s bothering you today.”
She nodded, turning her eyes to Jason. “I’ll see you in a bit, and if you’re still out when I’m done, I’ll text you...” She started to push her way to the door, afraid of what the doctor might find.