The arrival of the mother brought an end to any tom-foolery. Though, that was Wade's word and not Sharon's. But each of them in turn received a smack to the back of the head and Wade couldn't help but grinning at that. Someone loved him! "Yay!" He breathed under his breath. In his mind it was going swimmingly. After all, no one had been shot yet. That was a record for him.
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Dinner was fantastic. Sure, Wade drew a few weird stares when he sprinkled Cheetos on his mashed spuds but he was used to that. It wasn't until he caught Barry doing the same did Wade point his fork at him with a "Saw that! Gotcha, big guy."
"Oh, well, you know... I don't think she has much of a choice." The undercover merc drawled at Sharon's question. "I've been placing nicotine patches on that back of her neck at night so when she's not around me she gets antsy. It's worked out well so far." Wade rambled while spearing some veg-e-tables with his fork. They were crunchy just the way he liked 'em. Or maybe that was another cheeto. That counted as one of the food groups, right? It didn't even occur to him that people weren't listening until Harley stood up and dashed out of the room.
"What in the what?" Wade looked around when she fled the room. "Uhm.. I missed something. Stenographer, read that back!" And when no one answered he grumbled to himself and poked Barry with his fork. "What'd I miss?" It took several sharp jabs before Barry managed to tell him what happened.
"Wow! My first dysfunctional Thanksgiving. All the stories were true! Say, where is drunk uncle? I love that guy." However no one responded and Wade sighed. He grabbed his plate and scraped the food onto Barry's, knowing it was futile to leave it out, and headed for the door. The merc made a slight detour through the kitchen to grab one of the boxes of wine and the ice cream for the pie. That clown was back, huh? Well if that wasn't just the smelly turd dropped in his corn flakes, he didn't know what it could have been.
"Sitcoms teach us that the disheartened girl retreats to her safe place with several barriers thrown up to dispel entrance." Wade let his inner monologue ran free as he walked out of the house. "And I don't see a moat.. Barry doesn't seem able to slip through a laser grid either.. So according to Occam's Razor Fetish, it has to be something fiendishly clever." And with that Wade began scaling the outside of the house. There was only a few windows and the second one held the girl he was looking for. The pane slid up with only a minor creak and Wade slipped inside.
"Heya, short stack." Deadpool moved around to the side of the bed she was on and plopped down. He held out the pint and a spoon. "What path we feeling? Highschool," he shook the ice cream tantalizingly "Or Junior High?" And he jiggled the boxed wine some.