"A flower tart and stripper cat? I must have missed that memo." Wade said with a snicker as he pulled out his contributions to tonight's dinner. The first thing was, of course, a bag of the tradition thanksgiving Cheetos. They went great with the yams. It was necessary roughage.
"It's alright Miss Quinzel!" Wade piped up. The last thing he wanted to do was start a fight. Well.. that was a lie. But he didn't want Harley to fight with her mom. Not nearly hot enough. Now if the Stripper Cat and Flower Tart were around...
"I don't wear a costume. That's just silly." He grinned and adjusted his sweater for comedic effect. "I wear a uniform. 'Course, it's kind of mandatory in the military." His past was rarely brought up. It was his own and he didn't like talking about it. But that little bit of info should really smooth things over. People got all gushy about soldiers so maybe it'd net Harley a few points in her mom's eyes.
"Fun!" Wade chanted along with Harley and followed her out the door. And he didn't get a fluttery sensation when she grabbed his hand. Not at all. Not him.
"Holy shit!" Wade breathed as they entered the living room and the warm glow of the television. "Did we end up on Tatooine? Where is the lever that'll let me drop somebody down into the Rancor pit?" Barry was huge. Jabba huge. Oh this just got better and better. "Wuh-oh!" Wilson leaned forward and propped his elbows on the back of the couch, his chin resting on his palms. "We got ourselves a tough guy here! Watch out pre-pubes of the world! Barry's on the prowl!"
"Who the hell--" Barry began but Wade cut him off.
"I the hell am Wade. What's up my feebiest of feebs? Keeping it real, home skillet? Course from the size of you, I'd say you're keeping it real greasy with multiple skillets a day. You might want to lay off the fried meat. It's coming out the pores." This was a favorite tactic of Wade's, speaking in a non ending stream of thought that left them no time to get a word in edge wise. "Ooooh! Look sweetie, it's a 360!" The visiting merc hopped over the couch and Barry in one fluid motion and landed in a crouch in front of the machine. "How cute! Couldn't get a real console? Then again I wouldn't expect much from an X-box addict. Oh! Oh! Where is the Master Chief body pillow?! I need to call the CDC and have them clean it of any questionable stains. Quick! We need a bio hazard suit, stat!" And so the insults flew, faster than Barry could counter with nary a pause for breathing. It was a good thing Wade had practice at this.