She wished, seeing the look in his eyes, that they were at home for this, because she knew right then that she was going to hurt him. Her sweet, kind husband who always saw the best in her, even when her knew her at her worst. She could say a thousand heartless things and he would know she didn't mean them, but the truth of her past relationship with Lex Luthor, more than a decade old, would likely hurt him more deeply than any of that.
But she wouldn't lie about it, and met his eyes directly. "Yes," she nodded a little. "At least, I loved the man I thought he was." Lois focused on Clark's hands. They were one of her favorite parts of him. Big, strong, and they had always made her feel safe. "You might find this hard to believe, but there was a time when I was very young, and very," she bit her lip, trying to think of how to explain what had drawn her to Lex Luthor.
"Before you came to Metropolis, there was only one hero here - Lex Luthor. I was fifteen when I first came, and he was my first real story. My whole future depended on getting a story on him, but he didn't do interviews back then, so I snuck into his house and was going through his files when he caught me. I thought he was going to call the police, but when I explained to him that I was a fifteen-year old runaway trying to get a job at the Planet, and that the only way they were ever going to hire an underaged kid like me was if I got a story on the one man in town who wasn't giving them, he was so impressed, he not only didn't call the cops, he actually gave me an interview. He got me my job, practically, and at the time, the man was a Titan. Everyone worshipped him for what he'd done for this city, and until Superman came along, only a very few were willing to admit differently."
Exhaling, breathless, she chanced a look at Clark's eyes, her own worried. It was only a small part of the story, but it was the foundation for a much larger and complex one. "He was like a friend to me, in some ways. Not really a mentor. Lex did so much that was good - I have to believe that. Perry was the first person in my life to tell me that I was good enough, that I was good at something, but Lex... he was the first to tell me that I was the best. And that I could be even better. In retrospect, it was... very dangerous, but at the time, I needed that. I needed to be pushed, but by someone building me up, not tearing me down. He knew exactly..." 'how to play me' were the words that echoed in her head, but she still didn't want to think it had been that way between them. Part of her still believed his feelings for her were genuine, if twisted by his own self-interest.
She looked away. "We started dating when I was nineteen," she told him. "And yes, I loved him. When I was twenty, he proposed. It was the same year you came to Metropolis."
((OOC: I changed the ages a bit because I realized Clark was 22 when he came to Metropolis, so if Lois and Lex were dating when she was 21/22, Clark would have been there at the time, since she's 2 years younger. I thought having them end things the same year Clark arrives would work, since Luthor does that whole thing with hiring terrorists to attack one of his boats while on a date with Lois when they're aboard it and it's the first time he and Superman meet - where he offers Superman a job. Does that work? I can change it if not.))