Jesse (jdelacroix) wrote in nevermore_past, @ 2013-06-24 15:18:00 |
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Current mood: | tired |
Current music: | Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Beat The Devil's Tattoo |
Entry tags: | jesse delacroix |
Who: Jesse Delacroix & Jayden [NPC]
What: Sometimes things can be tough. But even in the darkest times, there's a light in the distance...even when it's accompanied by some bad news
When: August 2009
Where: NYC
August in New York City was hot and humid, and not helped at all by the constant streams of people and cars streaming through the city. Jesse had never been more glad to have his bike, he was saved from having to take taxis or the subway. His budget was tight enough as it was, he didn't need any more expenses.
The apartment he lived in wasn't totally his, he shared it with another guy his age, in order to cut down on expenses. Everything of value he kept in a lockbox, which wasn't much, but he still couldn't afford to lose what he did have. He'd managed to find a job at a burger joint, and while it wasn't what he would have chosen, it let him pay his bills and keep a roof over his head. Even if he did come home smelling of charred meat and grease.
He only got to go out about once or twice a week, and that was if he was lucky. He now knew the meaning of 'living paycheck to paycheck', and he hated it. But he couldn't go back to Louisiana, even if he wanted to. He knew his father would never welcome him back into the family anyway. But that didn't stop him wanting to go home sometimes, at 4 a.m. when he was lonely and missing his brothers. None of them had even tried to contact him, and it just made him feel isolated and alone, even more so because he knew exactly zero people in the Big Apple.
He'd been sending letters with his address and phone number to the house of one of Jayden's friends, to keep his father from finding out. But so far, there hadn't been any contact. He still checked his phone every night, regardless, even though it was always the same.
One night at the end of August, he stumbled into his room and flopped down onto his bed. He'd been promoted to shift supervisor a week ago, and while he was grateful for the raise, they were wringing every bit of labor out of him that he could. He yanked off his visor and chucked it across the room, like a frisbee. Then he collapsed onto his pillow again, burying his face into it.
The sound of his phone ringing made him sit up and groan. He was not going back to cover someone else's shift, no way in hell. Especially since tomorrow was his day off. He checked the display, but it wasn't work. It was a Louisiana area code, and it made his stomach drop. His worst fears played out in his head, that his father had gotten his letters instead of Jayden, and was calling to tell him to stop all contact with his brother.
But...what if it was Jayden? He couldn't ignore it if it was him, because he'd kick himself forever. So he pressed accept and said, "Hello?"
"Jesse? Is that you?"
Jesse just about cried, he was so happy. He hadn't heard from Jayden in about four years, he'd only been 9 when their father had tossed Jesse out. Just hearing a familiar, friendly voice from the past made him feel better than he had in weeks.
"Yeah, yeah it's really me, Jay," he said, smiling into the phone. "How are you, how's things?"
He could practically hear the shrug. "OK. Starting high school next week."
"You nervous?"
"No," came the answer, too quick to be genuine.
"Sure about that?" Jesse asked gently.
"...A little," Jayden admitted. "It's just...bigger. More intense. More homework."
Jesse laughed. "Shoulda seen that one coming," he laughed.
Jayden blew a raspberry into the phone. "You're so mean," he sighed dramatically. "I'm gonna tell Dad-"
The humorous tone vanished, and Jesse was back to feeling strung too tight. "And how is the Reverend Delacroix?" he asked coolly. He'd quit calling him 'Dad' a long time ago.
Jayden hesitated before answering. "The truth, Jay," he said, when Jayden still didn't reply.
"He's still the same," Jayden said dully. "Isaiah asked about you the other day, and I thought he was gonna hit the roof. Said Adrian was his oldest son, and we...we weren't supposed to mention you under his roof ever again, or we were welcome to follow you out the door."
Jesse felt a cold, hard lump settle into his stomach. He clenched his phone tightly in his fist, but said, "Why am I not surprised? Sounds just like him. He'd toss a 16-year-old out on his ass for asking about his brother. Speaking of Adrian, what's he doing? He in college now?"
"Went to Ole Miss," Jayden replied. "Studying journalism. He seems pretty happy. Isaiah's in AP everything and probably gonna graduate a year early. Next year, I mean. Plays basketball, too. Real whiz kid, he makes the rest of us look bad."
Jesse laughed, and it was only a touch bitter. "Hey, you can always tell them, 'at least I didn't get chucked out like my oldest brother'."
Jayden didn't respond for a minute. When he did, he said quietly, "That's not funny, Jess."
Jesse felt terrible. He'd started to make peace with what had happened to him, but it was clear that Jayden hadn't. "'M sorry, Jay," he mumbled.
"Adrian finally explained everything to me last year, before he left for Oxford," Jayden continued. "I was finally old enough to get it. Dad's a shithead, Jess, and you didn't deserve that. Adrian didn't think so, either. He told me he never agreed with Dad's choice. He was just afraid Dad would toss him out as soon as he was old enough, too. He was only 14 when Dad made you leave, and he was scared. We were all scared, because Dad was so angry, and then you rode away, and you didn't come back. I tried to ask, but Isaiah just pulled me into our room and said to not make Dad mad. It's fucked, Jess. It's fucked that he's still mad, and that you're still gone, and that none of us can talk to you or Dad will retaliate and somehow make our lives miserable."
Jesse felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Silent tears were falling from his eyes, as Jayden described what it was like living in their father's house. "I'm really sorry, Jay," he finally choked out.
"What the fuck do you have to be sorry for?" Jayden asked. "What, for having some fun and going on a date with a guy? Yeah, Jess. You're a terrible person, for shame, etc."
"God, you have a sailor's mouth for only being 13," Jesse laughed, but it was a strangled sound. "No, I meant for being forced to leave you guys with Dad. I should have tried harder to stay, but I was so angry at him, for calling me a deviant, and for saying all that shit about what Mom would say."
"It's fucked, Jess," Jayden said again. "And blame television. Isn't that what old people say?"
Jesse laughed again, and it sounded more genuine this time. "It'll rot your brain, young man," he said, trying for a grownup voice and failing pretty miserably.
"I'm pretty sure I'll survive," Jayden said wryly. Jesse heard a door open and close on the other end of the line, and Jayden lowered his voice. "Dad's home, I gotta go," he said. "But I'll try and call again soon, when he's at work."
"OK," Jesse said. "Thanks for calling, Jay. It was really good to hear from you. Tell the others hi for me, give 'em the number if they promise not to give it to Dad."
"Sure thing," Jayden said. "Love you, Jess. Miss you."
"Miss you too, kiddo," Jesse told him. A voice on Jayden's end started calling for him, and Jayden covered the mouthpiece to call back.
"Gotta go," he said again. "Bye, Jess."
"Bye, Jay."
They hung up, and Jesse lay back down, feeling more lighthearted than he had in weeks. At least Adrian was out of the house, and out from under their father's thumb, and that was good. It made him worry for Isaiah and Jayden, but there wasn't much he could do from where he was. They were smart, though, and he had faith they'd get through alright. Maybe he could even talk to Isaiah when Jayden called again.
He changed into some street clothes and headed back outside, spinning his bike keyring around on his index finger. He needed a long ride, to clear his head and digest everything they'd talked about. But he had a feeling he'd sleep more soundly than usual tonight, and that was a blessing.