"It certainly did," Patrick acknowledged. "I was purchased by a farmer who put me to work tending his sheep. I could still tell you literally everything there is to know about sheep care," Patrick said, instead of getting into the awful, fucked up details. "I was there for six years and that's where I found God. I was able to escape and make my way home. And after a time, I decided to go back to Ireland because I didn't want anyone to suffer as I had."
Patrick tapped his fingers on the table a few times and then he said, "there's a lot of crap made up about what happened after that. Chasing the snakes away, or praying people off cliffs. Mostly that's nonsense. I travelled around, sharing God's word and rescuing people from servitude. There were six kinds of marriage in Ireland at the time and about 4 of them were men marrying slaves, so a lot of my followers were women I convinced not to marry into slavery. And slowly things changed. Ireland changed. I doubt it had to do with me, but people choose to say it did.
"After I was made a saint, I travelled around doing much the same thing. Once I came to America though, I changed. Saint Patrick's Day here is more about having a parade and wearing green and drinking than it is a saint's feast day. So I'm...essentially a parade in the shape of a human being."