He kept failing. Failing to keep fully present, to listen to her without getting distracted by the curve of her throat as she tipped her head. He was listening, taking in every detail of her story but also... taking in the way her smile changed her lips and how soft those lips felt under his and- he wanted the story to win, wanted to talk about community and history and home-
Ah but, he also wanted to pull her close and kiss her neck, and it made him feel dirty, like he was lying to her, like he was only listening to her for one reason.
Much would love to believe he wasn't that shallow, but the fear that had been planted the last night he was with Lust hadn't been uprooted by anything his friends had been able to say. I'm not going to do anything bad today he reminded himself, but Lust's confidence that she knew him more than he knew himself was unshakable. She'd never been surprised, anytime he showed up at her door when she'd summoned him, even after the times he swore to her face he wouldn't. She knew what power she had over him. What the hell did he think he was doing here, if not to get laid?
He didn't know how to navigate this. Maybe the only thing he could do was keep talking. "Yeah, yeah I get what you mean, about community and about how it's the... Mrs Fullers and Hannah Schroeders who make a difference in the world, but it's the memory of fashion and music and stuff that gets to hang round. Not fair, is it?"