Lyra Gardhouse (gardhouse) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2011-09-05 16:52:00 |
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Entry tags: | lyra gardhouse, thanatos |
WHO: Lyra & Thanatos
WHEN: Sunday afternoon
WHERE: The hospital
WHAT: Taking small steps.
It was a warm day, but when Lyra showed up at Thanatos workplace, the late afternoon sun streaming through the windows, there was barely an inch of skin to be seen, and even her dark curls were half hidden beneath the hood of her sweatshirt.
She'd had three weeks to adjust to Thanatos revealing himself, and to Hypnos doing the same the very next day. Three weeks to try and work out how that fitted into her life and she really had been getting there. In some ways it made her feel closer to her parents even though they were gone. They'd been right when they'd raised her. They'd spoken of the Gods of old and Lyra had wanted to believe so badly. And now, after the initial fear, she not only believed but she knew.
She hadn't expected to actually see Thanatos again, perhaps not until her day came that she was to die. She'd already met some of his kind before; it was just that Lyra hadn't remembered it without the prompting.
But now things had gone and got uncomfortable and a little sickly because those gods that existed had gone and forced her emotions and her actions. She didn't want Thanatos to think she blamed him though, because it turned out she still cared as much about him as she ever had. He'd been Thane before but maybe he still was. Lyra needed to find out how much of Thane was Thanatos.
Quietly she made her way down the corridor at the hospital and one of the nurses who recognised her smiled and mentioned that she hadn't seen her for weeks and was she looking for Thane? Lyra let the nurse go collect him as Lyra found a spot against the wall and rested with her back against it, waiting.
He would have kept his distance from her, even if it may have hurt, unless she wanted him near. Now thanks to Eros' influence everything had gotten awkward and he knew he had to go talk to that love god.
It was far from right what he'd done to Lyra.
He'd been at the side of a patients bed, knowing the woman's time was near and just talking to her, when the nurse told him Lyra was back, and then wondered if they'd argued. He frowned before realizing she thought he and Lyra were an item. He correcter her before rising, giving his apologies to the woman, and walking to where Lyra was.
He smiled at her when he found her, setting his hands in the pockets of his work uniform. "Hello Lyra. Is something wrong?"
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-05 03:27 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra pulled herself up from the wall and shook her head, arms crossed protectively. She didn't like that he'd seen her naked, seen her like that now. Lyra wasn't one to sleep with friends. She didn't know how people separated sex from love and made it a casual thing like that.
She shook her head to his question and then started speaking, finding that once she'd started it was hard to stop because of nerves. "Is now a bad time? It's just that I didn't know, I didn't have you schedule to know when you were going to be working this week, and I said I'd come see you so I thought I'd just come by and chance it, but if you're still busy then I can go away and stop bothering you."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 03:36 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He pulled his hand out of his pocket and held it up to pause her, "it's fine. I don't mind." He smiled at her, "you never bother me, you know that. Technically I'm off, but" and there he paused, but she knew now and yet she seemed so intimidated by his very self, "there is someone here who needs my more unique skills."
He set his hand back in his pockets, "I have to stay for a little bit longer. But if you like, you can wait? You should know where the cafeteria is."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-05 03:41 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
She wanted to ask questions about that, but it could wait. He was needed now by someone else. So she just nodded and gave him a small smile. "I'll be waiting."
She let him go and made her way to the cafeteria, ordering herself a bad hot chocolate while she waited. She didn't really drink it though, instead just spent most of her time staring at the melting marshmallows until Thane arrived.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 03:53 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He wanted to ask her if she'd like to come, but perhaps when she was a bit more comfortable around him. He wouldn't pressure her.
After a while he walked into the cafeteria, smiling to her and sitting down in front of her. "My apologies." but it had to be done. Those were his duties. "How was your day?" He figured he would start with something simple, to put her back at ease.
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-05 04:00 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra shrugged a little. "Quiet," she just said. Her day wasn't really what she wanted to discuss. She had too many other things she needed to bring up and small talk could maybe happen afterwards. "Your sisters," she said warily. "They're the Keres, aren't they? I've met them before."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 04:05 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Ah," so no small talk then. "I know. They told me you looked familiar. They are what you could call my opposite. When your parents died, they were there to take them. They almost had you, as well, but modern science saved you. Sometimes the thread of life can be picked up again. They can't hurt you though."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-05 04:09 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"I remember," Lyra said with a nod, frowning at her drink. "I had nightmares for years, but I'd forgotten them. There was this dark woman leaning over my bed with stitches through her lips. I'd blocked it all out until you and your brother." She looked up at him. "I'm not scared of you. I wanted to tell you that."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 04:13 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Lugra, don't ask how she got them. It's a complicated story." He smiled to her before sighing. "I'll ask my brother to see if he can keep them out of your dreams." He gave her another smile, "good. I don't like being feared. My reputation is unfounded. The only time I've ever wanted to hurt anyone was Sisyphus. And he deserved it."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-05 04:16 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra couldn't for the life of her remember what the story with Sisyphus was. Something about pushing a rock up a hill? It didn't really matter right then though.
"When the left the other day," Lyra said a little uncomfortably, not quite able to look at him. Instead she traced her finger in little circles on the tabletop. "You said...Uh, you said you meant what you said. I just... which part exactly?" she dared to raise her eyes to look at him then. This had been going over and over through her brain for so long.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 04:20 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Oh that. With a shrug he smiled at her. "All of it. I do not say many things I do not mean. I'm too serious for anyone's good." Eros may have forced his mouth, but he'd meant what he had told her. He wasn't the type to say things for no reason.
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-05 04:24 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Oh," Lyra said, and she hoped the fact that her cheeks felt suddenly hot wasn't visible. The love part then. Death loved her. Lyra didn't quite know how to deal with that.
She cleared her throat, feeling like an idiot there. Then with a sigh she reached up and pushed her hood off, running her fingers through her hair. "When my grandfather died," Lyra asked, looking up at Thanatos now. "Were you there. As you, I mean." He'd been devoutly Catholic but Lyra didn't know if that made a difference.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 04:37 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"No. I was not. Not as myself. As the nurse who works here, yes." He spread his hands to try and find an explanation for all of this. "I cannot ease the suffering of those who do not belong to me. Every person believes, or does not believe, what they like. The Christian representation of death took him." He paused and watched her, "The Christian Death is a bit of me and my sisters combined. But, as I know it, she is no more cruel then I am. Death is ambiguous. We do as we must." He smiled to her, "I do know his last thoughts were of you."
At that Lyra smiled, finding more comfort in those few words than anything anyone else could have said. She reached out across the table and put her hand on his for a moment. "Thank you," she said honestly.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 04:49 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Smiling he curled his fingers around hers and gave her hand a squeeze, "you're welcome. It's one of the most often asked questions, along with if I know where people go. I do not, incidentally." He released her hand, "but I believe he is at peace. Any other questions?"
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-05 04:51 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra shook her head. "None at the moment," she admitted, "but there might be some later." She cleared her throat, wrapping her hands around the not-quite-hot-anymore chocolate. "I'm not really comfortable with what happened the other night. I just... I'm not that kind of girl, you see? And... well... it's awkward."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 05:11 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He nodded, that was to be expected. "You have my number. Call and ask. There are others I can direct you to who can answer what I cannot." and he knew many who would be kind and gentle. "Lyra it's fine. I understand that. You were not in your right mind. I am sorry for that. I wish I could change that, but I can't. We can put it behind us."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-05 05:24 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"You're good at sounding old and wise," Lyra told him with a small frown. "But I guess you are really old." Lyra barely felt like more than a teenager most days and here was the Greek god of Death basically telling her that he was in love with her. It was... well, strange wasn't going to cover it.
"I want us to be friends again," she said after a few moments. "I mean, when you were Thane everything was good and then... it all went really wrong. I just don't know how much of you is the guy who I thought was my friend."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 05:34 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He smiled to her, "very, very old." He wouldn't mention there were things older then him. Not yet. She didn't seem ready for that. Smiling he nodded, "I would like the same." He sighed, "Lyra I'm still the same being. All that's changed is my name. I'm still the same, now you simply know what I do. What I am. You now know I have a very large family, that I am older then you thought, and I help people find peace. The rest remains the same."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-05 07:12 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"And do you make lots of human friends?" Lyra asked him, growing more comfortable as the time passed. It was so easy being around Thane... or Thanatos. Both, as he said. At the moment she'd even managed to remove the images of his naked body against hers from her mind.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 07:17 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He shook his head, "no, not very many at all. I'm quiet and keep to myself. You are the first person in a long time to go out of their way to befriend me. Sometimes I put people off." He shrugged, "like they can sense what I am. Very few are comfortable around me. I do not even have a lot of godly friends. I spend most of my time with my twin and Morpheus. Oh, and Hades of course. Surprisingly nice, despite his own reputation."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-05 07:23 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra should her head and then rolled her eyes, a little amused despite herself. "God, I always was drawn to death. I suppose this shouldn't have turned out to be such a surprise in the end."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 07:28 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Fate is tricky in that regard. Trust me, I know them. Their sense of humor needs work." He smiled to her, "look I have to change. Let me walk you home? I'll give you the names and numbers of people who know a bit more then I do as well, alright?"
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-05 07:33 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra only had to think about it for a moment before nodding. "Alright. I'd like that. Do you want me to wait here for you?"
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 07:38 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He was tempted to make a joke, but she wasn't at ease yet. "If you wouldn't mind." He rose with a smile, hurrying to the lockers and changing there before returning.
"Better," he pulled out his phone and extended his free hand, "here let me have yours. I'll let them know you may have questions."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-05 08:22 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra searched around in her pocket for her cell phone and then handed it over to Thanatos as she stood up. "I don't know if I'll talk to any of them. It's a bit strange." she cocked her head questioningly. "Did you brother tell you that he ran into me?"
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-05 11:14 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He put in the numbers and shrugged, "but you'll have them just in case. You can contact them via the boards too." Then he shook his head, "no. Not yet. He means well."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 12:03 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Yeah," Lyra nodded. "The day after you-" She lifted her hands to beside her shoulders and fluttered them - the closest approximation to wings she could do on such short notice. Not that his had been like happy little spirit fingers, and more like terrifying horror. "He found me in a park near my place. Did the same reveal. Kinda freaked me out even worse," she admitted uncomfortably. "There... may have been tears."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 12:12 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
It was cue how she did that, but he didn't mention it. He'd have to talk with Hypnos. There ought to be a rule on how much you could traumatize mortals. "I apologize for that. Normally he's a little more...calm. He probably did it because he thought you needed it. None of us ever learned subtle."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 12:25 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"I don't think it was really about me," said Lyra. "He was worried about you." She took her phone back from Thanatos and then gave him a little smile. "Shall we go?"
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 12:31 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Ah," he'd have to talk about Hypnos about that as well. His brother meant well. "Yes, lets." Smiling he escorted her out of the building and onto the streets, glancing up to the sky out of habit.
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 05:54 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra walked along beside him, watching the ground. She thought maybe she should say something but she felt like she'd run out of questions and comments for now. So she just remained silent as they walked, both comforted and uncomfortable in his presence.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 06:04 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He was used to quiet, so he hardly minded. He didn't see a need to fill it with noise. Mortal man was too busy filling night up with noises as it was. He missed the quiet that was his mother some days.
Before long they came to her apartment and with a smile he turned to her, "here we are."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 06:06 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra looked up at her building with a little bit of surprise and then said, "oh." She pulled her hands into her sleeves a little more. "Um, would you like to come in? I could make tea?"
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 06:11 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He glanced to her, "if you want me to, sure. If you're just being polite, no." He smiled at her, "I will understand if you are not comfortable with me for a bit Lyra. I don't blame you for that."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 06:14 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra frowned. "It's actually- I'm not uncomfortable with what you are," she managed, although she felt like it was all sounding a little awkward. "I'm just uncomfortable with, um, what happened... the other night." (She realised after saying it that she probably didn't need to clarify that last part. It was rather clear.)
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 06:34 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He went to reach for her, but then lowered his hand. She probably didn't need that. "Lyra, I counted that amongst the reasons why I'm sure you're not comfortable around me yet. There is plenty of time for you to become at ease with me again." he smiled to her, "so it is really alright."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 06:38 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra shook her head decisively. "No," she told him. "Come upstairs. I won't let some love god ruin what we had, not when I've finally managed to stop being scared of it."
[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 06:42 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He smiled at her. He liked her courage, her spirit. It was so rare to see that now." Alright, then I'd be honored to come inside." He motioned for her to go first. "I could do with some tea anyway."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 06:49 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Inside Lyra's apartment there was memories of them together but she chided herself silently for letting this get to her. No. Thanatos was her friend. Nothing more. And the spell had happened and couldn't be taken back, they could only move on from it.
(His hands trailing over the curve of her breast, his warm breath on her throat, his hair tickling-)
No. There would no no thinking about any of it.
Lyra put on the kettle, finding teabags for them and then the teapot, before sitting down at the table. "I wanted to ask you for something," she began carefully.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 06:53 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
With a nod he sat down in front of her, taking off his coat and letting it drape along the chair, "sure. If it's within my power I will see if I can get it done." He paused for a moment, "there are a few limitations. I cannot take you to Hades' realm, I cannot give you any soul back, I cannot halt my duties, nor my sisters, nor the Christian Death's, and I think that's it." He frowned, "but please do ask."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 06:58 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Nothing as complicated as any of that," Lyra told him with a small shake of her head. "I just wanted- I mean, I was wondering if you could... show me again. What you really look like."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 07:03 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Smiling he shrugged, "I felt I should give you the basic rules. I don't want to have to disappoint you later on." He blinked and tilted his head before smiling. "Sure." He rose and took a few steps back from the table, letting the mortal facade slip. His eyes turned black and his wings appeared, and now he wore a black, knee length tunic with a sword on his back, but he still smiled at her. "Tell me when it is enough." His voice was a touch darker now, almost a whisper.
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 07:10 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Slowly Lyra stood, holding her breath now. The eyes were perhaps the part that scared her most, even with those wings, but she could still see Thane there. She took a few steps towards him and then gingerly reached out a hand towards one of the wings before drawing it back and meeting those empty eyes. "May I?" she asked him. For all she knew touching those wings might kill her.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 07:13 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Smiling he nodded, "sure. I can't hurt you Lyra. Not even the sword can. You could do anything to me and I could not retaliate." He shrugged and lowered his wings a little, "and they're pretty but useless now. Used to be able to fly. Now it's just gliding and fancy decoration."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 08:35 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra wanted to tell him that he didn't need death powers to be able to hurt her, but that didn't seem right. Instead she let her hand move again to touch those wings and found herself surprised by their softness. "Oh, they're... oh. Feathers."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 08:38 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He laughed, but not at her. Mostly at the absurdity of it all. "Yes. So they are. And I'm ticklish." He would allow her to touch though. She seemed very fascinated and at this point that was better then fear.
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 08:43 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Your... wings are ticklish?" Lyra asked in disbelief of the sheer madness of all of this. She ran single feathers between her fingers, trying to work out if maybe any of this was really happening.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 08:46 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Yes," he bit the answer off with a laugh and ducked out of her searching fingers. "So please stop trying to make me squirm. It's very hard to explain why, but they are. And now you know my big secret, well the other one."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 08:49 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra drew her fingers back with a growing smile. "You're not scary when you're laughing," she told him, sounding glad of that. "But... maybe be normal again now?"
"I try not to be," with a nod he did as he asked, everything sliding back until he looked like the mortal he pretended to be again. "And I have plenty of people telling me I should laugh more. Pretty sure there's a club." With a smile he went to pour out the tea and handed her a mug, "here."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 08:56 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Thank you," she said as she took the mug, but she was still watching him closely, studying his face as though she might still see some sign of the god there. Then she dropped her eyes and made a little smile. "Laughing is good for you."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 08:59 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He took the mug and sipped from it, before taking his seat again. "So they tell me. I find reasons to smile, and laugh. Hypnos helps." He smiled to the mention of his twin. He'd be pretty lost without him, and he knew it.
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 09:10 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra sat down across from him, not sure what to say about Hypnos exactly. This was all still strange but she would be okay. She was sure about that. "He was who you were with in Hawaii? He and his wife?" She frowned. "Is she a goddess too? I'm sorry I don't know these things. I suppose she must be a goddess, because I guess you wouldn't marry humans." God, she was babbling again.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 09:16 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Some of us do, sometimes," he motioned for her to sit down, "but yes I was with him, Morpheus, Iris, and Patisthea. Morpheus is my other brother. Patisthea is Hypnos' wife, and Iris is Morpheus'. But Dionysus married a mortal, as did Eros. Granted they both became immortal, but sometimes a god will choose to stay beside a mortal for his or hers entire lifespan."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 09:21 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
When he spoke those last words Lyra found herself lifting her gaze to meet his and then quickly dropping it again. She chose not to think any of that was about her, but even when she told herself that she felt her cheeks going warm.
"Having family around like that must be good," was what she said finally.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 09:27 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He shrugged, "mortal and immortal both, yes. My family isn't...conventional. I have a lot of siblings, and my parents," he sighed, "well they aren't conventional either. But I do love them, as much as one can."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 09:33 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Must be nice," Lyra said, "all those siblings. Although when you said you had a big family before I didn't quite realise how big."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 09:37 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
To that he gives a humorless laugh, "You don't know all of my siblings. Some of them I'm not so fond off. Some of them I get along with though." He smiled then, "when my mother said she wanted a big family, she wasn't exaggerating. And a few of my siblings followed her example. IT gets confusing."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 09:43 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"I know about some of them. There's Mockery and Deceit and Misery and all sorts of things like that," Lyra said with a frown. "They're all around too?"
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 09:47 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He shrugged, "I don't know. I suppose they are. But there is also Mercy, and most importantly Hope." He smiled at the mention of Elpis. It was hard not to like Elpis. "And Elpis is one of my favorite sisters. You'd like her, I think."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-09-06 09:50 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Who doesn't like hope?" Lyra said, smiling at him slowly. "I've got a lot of that right now."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-09-06 09:55 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He gave her a bright smile at that, "good. Wonderful even. The more the better." And he is happy she is settling back into the old friendship they had. He had missed it.