"Christ, did I?! Was this- This was right after I got back from- After I climbed out the window?" Holy shit, he didn't remember saying that at all, nor was it what he wanted. If they changed the parameters of their relationship, Tuck would fuck it up. That was all there was to it. He could want to be faithful as much as he liked, but that wasn't who he was, at least not these days. Anyway, he liked seeing Will happily talking about being with Patroclus or whomever else.
"Shit, okay. I believe I said it, but I- It's not what I want. I was so- I was higher than I've been in decades, it's a wonder I made any sense at all."