The last two weeks had seen Marian slowly getting a grip on herself about the Sheriff. It had been a month since he'd turned back up, since he'd been held captive by the Archangel Michael, and nothing had happened to any of them. It seemed like it was okay.
Maybe it would be? Maybe she didn't have to keep feeling like he was breathing at the back of her neck? But despite that, Marian couldn't stop thinking about him. She hated how much time she wasted thinking about him. The Sheriff would have loved to know he was always on her mind.
This morning Marian had gotten her period and it had come with the same sense of relief as it had when she'd been trapped in Arizona, even though she and Robin had decided to try for a baby.
It was just that the Sheriff's return had changed things. Or, perhaps, it had just cemented things. Their life was a dangerous and unpredictable thing, and Marian couldn't help but feel it was selfish to intentionally choose to bring a child into that. She was constantly being kidnapped and threatened and the thought of a child having to see that happen to its mother and father... that seemed too cruel.
She'd not mentioned these doubts to Robin, because... well, what if she was pregnant by some miracle? She already knew she would never be able to kill any child growing inside of her, not a chance. So she had let the doubts quietly find a place inside of her while she'd waited.
Outside of a few stories that they both had trouble remembering, the two of them had never been able to conceive together before, and Marian's single pregnancy felt like a fluke. This meant that Robin and Marian's method of 'trying' for a baby hadn't been much different than their version of not trying: it consisted mainly of having a lot more sex while Marian was supposed to be fertile and praying together on it daily. If God had a child in their future, then it was in his hands.
But God had decided: no, not this time. Marian couldn't help but think that (once again) he might know what was better for her than she had realised.
When Robin came home Marian was in the kitchen waiting for her toast grilled cheese to cook, leaning against the counter with a hot water bottle held to her stomach. Upon seeing her man she grinned and wrinkled up her nose. "You look stinky," she accused him, but it was said with adoration.