Lyra Gardhouse (gardhouse) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2011-04-21 16:41:00 |
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Entry tags: | lyra gardhouse, thanatos |
WHO: Lyra & Thanatos
WHEN: Thursday afternoon
WHERE: The hospital
WHAT: Coping with death.
Twenty minutes ago Lyra had arrived at the hospital and been told that her grandfather had passed away during the day. Lyra had known for so long that it was coming, and she'd been sure that meant she would know exactly how to process it. But she didn't, it seemed.
They needed her to sign for the body and make arrangements but she found she just wasn't ready to do that yet. Instead she asked if she could sit in his room for a little while, and since she'd been here so often they saw no problem with it.
So now Lyra sat in the chair and watched the empty bed. She wasn't crying - she wasn't sure she could cry. Demont had been in so much pain for so long and he was finally at peace. That didn't mean that there wasn't an ache in Lyra's chest though.
From beside the bed she picked up the battered copy of Call of the Wild and held it close. It felt like the last connection to her grandfather that she had.
When he'd heard of the death he had frowned. He'd felt part of it, some hollow echo, but the mortal hadn't been for him to take so he'd been distant from it. He remembered the girl though. It seemed only right to at least make an effort to offer some comfort.
So he walked to the room and walked inside, not saying a word. Sorry never seemed to cut it, and on some level he didn't get the grief. He'd never lost something. His parents and siblings were always there. He'd only lost his freedom once and it wasn't the same.
So instead of saying what most would he just stood beside her and offered her a mug of tea.
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[info]gardhouse
2011-04-20 04:43 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra looked up with a little surprise to find someone else there and then gave Thane a small, tight smile. "Thank you," she said, putting the book down on her lap and then taking the mug from him.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-04-20 04:56 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He returned the smile before falling quiet. Some people wanted company, others didn't. He would wait to see what she needed, and he'd always felt like the words people said were hollow.
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[info]gardhouse
2011-04-20 04:58 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"I've just been sitting here," Lyra finally said, even though he hadn't asked. "I haven't even been down to see the-" she paused, the use of 'body' feeling all wrong. She just took a sip of her tea.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-04-20 05:06 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He set his hand on her shoulder, "take your time." He'd make sure no one would rush her. People were even impatient with the dead. He'd never get that. "And tell me if there is anything I can do."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-04-20 05:09 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"I think I just need a minute," she told him with a slow nod. "I know that I've been waiting for this to happen but... it's different than I thought it would feel."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-04-20 05:13 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He gave a smile and a nod, "take all the time you need. I will do what I can." He glanced to the bed and sighed, "I cannot say I understand. I have not lost anyone."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-04-20 05:20 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"By all rights I should better at it," Lyra considered out loud. "I lost both my parents in a car accident when I was eight. We were all over from Greece visiting Demont. He took me with him when they made him ID the bodies, even though I'd been in the car it was all a confusing, scary blur. So he made me go see them in morgue."
Lyra didn't know why she was even saying all this. In some ways it was just the need for another human connection, and a need to keep her grandfather alive in the only way she could think of. "We went and looked at them, all horrible from the accident and me still in a wheelchair, and he said, 'Lyra, you look at them. You look at them but know that they ain't there any more. Death came for them like he comes for everyone. And when he gets to you, girl, you better greet him with a smile and tell him you've been waiting.'" She gave a small laugh at the memory. "I cried for so long."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-04-20 05:29 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He wondered at the irony of that. Right now Death was female and the man nor his granddaughter was his to claim. Still he wondered how the man would have reacted if he'd known his granddaughter was speaking to Death, and having civil conversation. It was always odd to hear people talking like that.
But she was keeping her grandfather alive in her memories, "it is that what matters. Not the end, but the path to getting there. He is right. What rests a little bit farther away is just a body. Your grandfather is probably at his family's side, catching up. But as I said, I cannot truly understand your loss. Saying I am sorry feels oddly pointless at times."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-04-20 05:34 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
She looked up at him and smiled gently. "'I'm sorry' is as good as anyone can do," she assured him. Then with a sigh she held the book close again. "I've spent so much of my life thinking about death and now there's no one left to lose. Feels sort of lonely."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-04-20 05:39 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"I have heard it said that when there is nothing more to lose, there is everything to gain." He gave her another smile and set his hand on her shoulder. "I'll be here if you need anything, and do not let anyone push you. Take what time you need."
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[info]gardhouse
2011-04-23 10:33 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Thank you," Lyra said, putting her hand on his for a moment to acknowledge the kindness.
After a little while spent in silence Lyra spoke. "This might sound-" she paused. "Would you come with me to see the body?" She shook her head. "I see them every day but... it's different and I don't really want to do it by myself."
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-04-23 10:39 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He nodded to her request, "of course I will." It didn't sound odd at all, not to him, and if the girl needed some company he was willing to provide. Maybe it would help her, even if he was a bit distant from it all.
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[info]gardhouse
2011-04-23 10:43 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra nodded her thanks, her jaw tight. For a few more moments she remained sitting before she stood and put the book into her bag. She made her way slowly to the nurse behind the desk and told her she was ready to go downstairs. A glance was cast to Thane but as Lyra had thought, it was be a problem to have him there. He'd probably done this before, really.
She was led down the corridor to a room and there she took the sheet away from Demont's face. Lyra didn't really hear her say 'I'll give you a moment'. She let out a long and heavy breath as she looked at the body that had once housed her grandfather.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-04-23 11:05 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He let her take her time, not pressuring her nor telling her to hurry. He had all the time in the world and mortals needed to stop letting their clocks run their lives. He remained quiet, just being there, until she moved and he walked beside her.
When they came to the morgue he nodded to the other nurse before remaining behind Lyra. He had no words for her that may make this easier so he said none. Anything would be hollow anyway.
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[info]gardhouse
2011-04-23 11:21 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Lyra reached out slowly and then laid her hand on his forehead, disturbed to find it cold even though she knew it would be. When she spoke it was whispered Greek, "goodnight, grandfather. Sleep now."
She sniffed a little, watching the wrinkles in his dark skin, the thin flesh stretched over his skull. He was in a better place now.
After a minute or so she slowly drew the sheet back over his face and then turned to Thane with a little nod. "I'll tell the nurse I'm finished," she said, her voice tight.
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[info]a_gentle_death
2011-04-23 11:34 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He didn't react when she spoke Greek, even though he understood it. Such things would raise questions he wasn't sure he had and answer to. That and she didn't need it. Not right now.
With a smile he drew back before pausing and setting his hand on her shoulder. It was a small gesture, but one he hoped would at least do something to help.