Another thing that could be said for planes, if Marcie had spoken her thoughts out loud and if Kaden had felt capable of sharing his: to get to the planes, they didn’t have to pass through the tunnel under the Hudson.
Kaden had thought about leaving town, and driving through that tunnel again, and every time he did dread swamped him. The memory of Lil T crying swamped him. How horrible that ordeal had been. How shaken he’d been when Lil T finally stopped crying.
And then how worried Kaden had been, when he thought he was going to be late to the rendezvous and miss Tragos. Thinking about the person he’d been back then, not knowing what was coming… it made him sick. He wanted to scream loud enough that the kid he’d been could hear him.
Eyes stinging, Kaden didn’t want to think about the tunnel at all. But they were driving in the opposite direction, and Kaden had his eyes firmly out the window, on the expressway, judging Much’s choice of route. It wouldn’t be too much of a detour to drive pretty close to the Hole. The Long Island Expressway would be a clogged up nightmare that they could avoid by getting off and taking Woodhaven Boulevard. Then they’d pass like, ten, fifteen blocks from home.
Kaden didn’t really want to drive through the Hole, but it was like Tragos’ car… he could feel where it was. He could feel it screaming at him the way his scars kinda screamed at him. He didn’t know what would make it stop screaming.
Maybe if he got on a plane, it would like… rip him away from the ground fast enough he’d leave the feeling behind. Kaden stepped onto the sidewalk and craned his neck back as a jet flew overhead. Maybe it would. Or maybe he’d always know where he was in relation to the Hole. Maybe that really was part of him for ever and ever.
There were still heaps of people arriving, filling up the short term carpark, groups of families navigating more oncoming vehicles. Much pulled the suitcases out, passing them round to Marcie to get them onto the footpath. “I’ll see you in,” he said. “Make sure you get through security alright, yeah?”