Judas gave her the most scathing look for a moment. "Do I look fucking okay?" he snapped, but then he groaned and rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands until he could see little starbursts behind his eyelids.
"I- I did something terrible. The worst thing anyone could do. My friend, the only man I've ever loved... died. Because of m-me." He could feel the urge to sob coming up again, and he rubbed his eyes harder and sniffed. "Today is the anniversary of his death. I can't- I can't- he was a g-good man..." He gritted his teeth against a sob. He was just so tired...