Saint Patrick ☘ (shamrocked_) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2012-05-20 09:24:00 |
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Entry tags: | saint george, saint padraig, saint patrick |
Who: George, Padraig, Patrick
Where: George and Sebastian's house
When: Post Patrick making good choices
What: Brotherly angst
Things should have been getting better, but they weren't. Oh, it was better in all the big ways. Bridget and David were safe, Sebastian was back home, Patrick was functional. Everyone was still alive.
But George could see the lines of worry around David's eyes, growing deeper by the day. Sebastian, when he thought George wasn't looking, stared at nothing at all and looked vaguely sick. And Patrick was spiralling down into some black hole of self-loathing that George had no idea how to fix.
So he called the other Patrick, because that at least made him feel like he was doing something. When Padraig arrived at the door, George's first words were, "Give me a magic potion that will make Patrick happy again."
Expecting a greeting, Padraig had a huge grin on his face which faded when George instead asked about Patrick immediately. With a sigh, Padraig entered and then said, "I think he's already searching for that."
George made a sound that could best be described as "Mrrrrrph" and pulled Padraig into a hug. The English George, in his opinion, did not hug his brothers nearly enough.
"Everyone should start behaving," he muttered against Padraig's shoulder.
Padraig, who was all too aware that the Americans were very physically affectionate, just let the hug happen and he patted George on the back. "Yes, well. I agree."
When Padraig pulled back, he tried to look at least somewhat reassuring. "You know Patrick will be just fine, right?"
"He says he's safe," George said. "But I just remember when he used to go out drinking and then wake up with no idea where he was, or in some creepy dude's bed, and I just-"
George shook his head, like he could shake off the bad memory. He looked down and scooped up Basil, who had come to investigate. "This is our fairy cat."
Padraig pet Basil as much as he figured was customary. He knew about the cat sidhe who had adopted Patrick, Sebastian and George and he didn't know if Basil would appreciate being patted by a stranger or at all. "Hello, Basil," he said before looking up at George.
"I know you're worried, but I am fairly sure Patrick loves John too much to put himself in a situation where that was a possibility." At least he would like to think so.
Basil squirmed in a way that George knew meant 'put me down, you ass.' George kissed him on the head and then set him on the stairs.
"Yeah," George sighed, trying not to look as frustrated as he felt. "Do you want anything? The fridge is pretty well-stocked, and we've got some leftover pizza. Oh, Sebastian would've said hi, but he's napping and I don't want to wake him up."
George wasn't entirely sure what Sebastian had been through, but he suspected that his husband needed his sleep.
Padraig, much like Patrick, was pretty much always hungry. He felt like there were more pressing things to attend to at the moment, however.
"I'm fine," he said before reaching to touch George's shoulder. "Let Sebastian sleep and if you want to tell me what you're worried about in regards to Patrick, I don't mind listening."
George smiled at him, feeling a little better already. Such was the magic of Patricks.
"It's nice to see you again, too," he said. "I don't mean to just talk about Patrick. But he told me that he thought John was the only person who could ever love him, and my mind sort of melted and spat sparks."
Padraig took a deep breath and he leaned backwards a little, trying to think through that. "I could tell him of the offers we had over the years," Padraig wondered if that would help.
"That might help," George said, shrugging helplessly. "But I don't know. Just, the way he was talking...he said that if John did something that really upset him or hurt him, he wouldn't say anything or leave. And I like John, I think he's a good guy who means well even when he frustrates the living hell out of me. I don't think he'd ever intentionally hurt Patrick, and hearing Patrick talk like that still freaked me out."
Padraig supposed he was biased, but he didn't believe John would ever hurt Patrick intentionally either. He agreed, however, that hearing that kind of talk from a brother would be concerning. If his George ever spoke that way, they would be having a Chat.
"That sounds like something John should actually be aware of," Padraig said thoughtfully. "He might need to know exactly where Patrick is at right now. As for Patrick, I think he needs to hear how much it would hurt you if something like that was going on. He probably has no idea. Hell, just telling him how much it hurt you to hear him talking about it would probably be a good idea. If he's not in a place where he can take care of himself for his own benefit, of course he would do it for yours."
"That's good advice," George said, running his hands through his hair. "You give good advice. Does the Limey listen to you? He should. John's thinking about asking Patrick to marry him, y'know."
"George gives pretty good avi-what!?" Padraig's eyes widened and he looked startled and a little concerned. "John is what?! Oh...oh dear, I don't-" Padraig chewed on his lip then and he rubbed is eye. "Uhm...well that will be interesting."
George nodded. "You're now sworn to secrecy also. Do you know if Patrick was serious about marriage just being a social construct blah blah etc.? 'Cause if he really thinks it's stupid, I'll call John and tell him to cancel the ring-shopping. But otherwise..."
George glanced at the stairs leading up to their bedroom. "I've been so happy being married to Sebastian. Even when we fight, it doesn't scare me, because we're married and that's something permanent. Ideally, anyway. And sometimes I think Patrick would feel better if he had that kind of stability."
"Er..." Padraig decided this wasn't really his place and it made him uncomfortable. "In Ireland, marriage was a way for men to keep women...basically subservient. I was always against marriage because I never believed women should be subservient. But since a woman isn't involved here, perhaps that won't be an issue. I honestly couldn't tell you how he will react to it, and it isn't my place to."
"I agreed to duel John if it all goes pear-shape, so he can look dashing," George said. He looked down, picking nervously at his fingernails. "I just want Patrick to be happy. He deserves to be happy and God, this is so grim. I'm sorry."
"No, it's not grim, I understand." Padraig smiled in a reassuring way. "He'll get over this. He's Saint Patrick, of course he will be fine."
And that was when there was a knock on the door. Padraig looked up thoughtfully. "Expecting anyone?"
"No, no one besides you," George said, tilting his head curiously. George walked over to the door. "Anyone evil, Basil?"
The cat just stared at him, which George took to mean no. He opened the door. "Patty?"
Patrick grinned widely when George opened the door and he spread his arms wide. "Heyyyy!" he said loudly. He smelled of absinthe and juice and it was clear he was drunk, which was the only reason he was smiling. "I said I would come over and I did! George! You are so tall and I keep shrinking!" And with that, he hugged George tightly.
George hugged Patrick automatically, and then figured that there was no harm in picking him up. He certainly wasn't coordinated at the moment.
"I'm glad you're here," George said, and he meant it. At least Patrick was actually safe. "Hey, look who else is here."
"Hey, it's ME!" Patrick said, pointing at Padraig who arched his eyebrows at Patrick in return.
"I wanna sit down!" Patrick announced to George. "On your sofa because it is nice. I was with Alcohol all night!"
George smiled and sat Patrick down on the sofa, ruffling his hair afterwards. "Uh-huh. Was she nice instead of a bitch this time?"
"She's my friend!" Patrick said, affronted on Alcohol's behalf. Apparently he had forgotten that the time she saved him from Lucifer at the hospital, it had been Alcohol who had put him there in the first place.
Patrick snuggled down on the sofa and he smiled wistfully. "She gave me nothingness. It was perfect."
"Uh-huh," George said, but otherwise kept silent on his feelings about Alcohol. He stroked Patrick's hair. "Do you want some food or anything? I was about to invite your Irish-er half to watch a movie."
Patrick narrowed his eyes, obviously trying hard to think. "I ate...day before yesterday," he said, as if he felt that meant he didn't need to eat now. "Then yesterday I was unconscious!"
"I'm going to make you pizza," George said firmly. "And if you don't eat it, you don't get to watch Roadhouse. It has Patrick Swayze in it."
"You're so bossy," Patrick informed his brother. "I don't want to watch a movie my brain is too slow. I asked Alcohol if she could just switch it off for me. My brain I mean. Turn it off like a light but a broken one so it can't come back on. Should have asked Alcohol in the first place instead of Satan and Lucifer."
Padraig took that opportunity to look incredibly uncomfortable.
George gave Padraig a look over his shoulder, a look full of 'you see what I mean?' He put a few slices of pizza in the microwave and returned to the couch.
"Trust me, Roadhouse does not require any deep thought," George said. Hanging over the back of the couch, he looked down at his brother. "And if you did that, I'd have to go beat up Alcohol. And then I could never have wine again."
Patrick wasn't in the mood or pizza or movies, but he didn't know how to express that. Especially since he seemed much more jovial than he was, thanks to the alcohol floating around in his system.
"Yeah well sometimes going away seems like a good idea 'cause I'm in the middle of two people I love and if I stay with John it looks like I'm okay with him insulting David and if I leave John then that'll hurt him. And me. But what the fuck can I do, I'm just a piece of tug- Tuggy rope. Either way I hurt someone I love so fuck it all, right? Do you have wine here?" Patrick asked then, suddenly looking interested.
George leaned over the back of the couch and kissed the top of Patrick's head.
"I think you've had all the drinks you need. I know how you feel, though. I felt the same way when Sebastian was throwing a fit. At least John hasn't made some shady deal with Satan."
George glanced up at Padraig. "Um, might not want to relay that to the Limey. I don't think he'll let little Sebastian out of his sight if you do."
Padraig just looked nonplussed.
"But what are we supposed to do!?" Patrick asked George. He spun around on the sofa and his expression was pleading. "Do I just pretend like it doesn't make me want to rip all my hair out?!"
"You need to tell him that he can't act like that when he's fighting with your family," George said, knowing as he did that it was easier said than done. He'd been dancing around the topic with Sebastian before his husband had left on his 'trip'. "I think he's used to be right, and doesn't always realize that sometimes everyone getting along is more important than proving a point."
"But- I agree with him!" Patrick said, looking miserable. "I mean about the interpretation of things. I just think it turned into something it wasn't and no one was listening to each other and I don't like being in the middle of anything!"
Padraig cleared his throat and then he finally spoke up, moving to sit closer to his American self. "I don't think it's ever possible for everyone to get along. Nor do I think it matters. David and John's issues are with each other and your continued relationship isn't an insult to David, nor is your continued interaction with your brother an insult to John. It's okay for people not to get along. My George hates my Darerca with a passion but she is still my sister. They can hate each other, and it doesn't reflect on me. Do you see?"
George opened his mouth to ask something like "Wait, didn't she shoot him in the chest once?", but decided against it. He was still thinking about what to say when the microwave beeped.
A plate of pizza in hand, he returned to the living room. "Here, your liver needs fuel before it dies." He grabbed a slice himself. "I don't even think the problem was with the message, though. I think it was calling David a narcissist for being scared as hell and not making the best tactical choices."
"He promised he wouldn't do that again," Patrick said, staring at his pizza without touching it. "I told him I didn't like it and he promised he wouldn't do it."
Padraig reached out to touch Patrick's shoulder. "I understand. You feel trapped between two people and when you feel trapped, you panic. You have to realise this is a cage you're creating for yourself, Patrick. Let John and David deal with their issues which you are not responsible for and if they make you uncomfortable again, speak up. They have both stopped before, they will do it again if you need them too. They love you."
Of course it was easy for Padraig to say because he was all calm and relaxed and suave. Patrick just scowled but said nothing since Padraig was being beyond logical.
"Hey." George poked him in the side of the head. "Padraig is right. Dewi and John both love you to pieces, and they'd want to know it they were making you upset."
Patrick sighed and he nodded. He handed his pizza to Padraig and then he curled up at George's side. "I'm tired," he said softly. "Was blacked out for 15 hours and I'm still tired." He felt much more sober however.
George wrapped an arm around Patrick's shoulder. "You can nap here, if you want. Or in the spare bedroom, if you want an actual bed. Or I can dump you next to Sebastian and watch you two curl up like tired cats."
"Mmm sleep on you," Patrick said and then he let out a rather loud snore.
Padraig licked his lips and then he let out a breath. "We'll keep an eye on him, George. It's all we can do."
"I can't let him get hurt, Padraig," George said, not looking away from his brother. "I'd rather die than see him get hurt."
Padraig looked at George and then he nodded. He knew. There were difference between this George and his brother, but at the core they were still the same man.
"And because of that, you'll keep him safe and well. I should know, George always does it for me."