Famine felt cold all over, like she had fallen into an icy pond. She and Pestilence had skirted this issue before, and she was surprised Padraig hadn't brought it up in the wake of the last time at the farm. She was starting to wonder now if he'd had his own suspicions.
She was tempted to say 'in what way', but even she wasn't that thick. "It's difficult for me to explain," she finally said. "I don't...I was never jealous or angry when you were with other people, you know? I just accepted it as a fact of life. And I'm pretty sure I can confidently say that I didn't for the first few years."
Famine sighed, shoving one hand into her hair as she looked down at her lap. "And I've told you before, I'm pretty sure. Feelings are weird, and human, and not something I'm familiar with. But I feel like I've sort of...acquired some over the years. Rage is easy, indifference is even easier. Happiness took a while, because there was never any need to mark any occasions when I might have been happy. I never really looked too closely at any feelings that might be related to you. I didn't want to kick over that rock."
"But then again, maybe I'm the most human of all my siblings. Famine seems to mean showing pictures of individuals being affected, as opposed to battles or plagues. I'm not exaggerating when I say I've walked the earth from one end to the other, or it feels like it. I think it took some of the edges off. Filed down the corners into something you can't cut yourself on anymore." She snorted. "God, I'm long-winded tonight. All that to say...I think so? Insomuch as I'm able to, anyway. I know that...not having you around means that something has gone wrong, and every part of me starts screaming to correct it." She shrugged. "Or maybe I'm just messed up. That's also pretty likely."