"What? No!" Padraig said quickly, but he understood it might seem like it was coming out of left field for her. He thought about this absolutely all the time, but he never spoke about it. "No, this is- My siblings have been telling me for years that putting myself and putting you through this is ridiculous. I don't even know what it's for anymore! I have so many issues with the church and yet I put myself through hell to keep true to it? I don't want to do that any more. I'm not- This is me, Euterpe. It's all me."