InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "And I'm good at it, too!"

Jayden Alexander Delacroix (likeafirestar) wrote in nevermore_logs,
@ 2015-10-26 12:57:00

Entry tags:

ceridwen, isaiah delacroix, jayden delacroix, jesse delacroix

WHO: Jayden, Delacroix boys, Ceridwen, Jess van der Berg, Nicholas Rowland
WHAT: Reunion
WHEN: Backdated to the Sunday, after getting back from laketimes
WHERE: Their home
WARNINGS: Lots of broken hearts and yelling and hurt feelings

Jayden's time at the lake with his friends had been magical. He had spent the night in the same bed as his boyfriend, twice, and absolutely no one had judged him for it. Hell, he was still surprised he even had a group of friends who wanted to hang out with him at all. He had been told he was unlovable for so long, he had believed it. But no, there was a group of people who had invited him to stay with them for the entire weekend without a break. He didn't just have one friend to guard him against the sea of people who might harm or insult him. No. There was a veritable army of people on his side and he was starting to truly believe they cared for him.

Everything in his life was going so well, the thought of restricting food, which always lurked in the back of his mind, somewhere dark and twisted, hadn't occurred to him once.

"I'm home!" Jayden called out, dropping his bags by the door. He didn't even bother to conceal his ear-to-ear smile.

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	jdelacroix 2015-10-26 08:08 am UTC (link)
	Jesse heard the front door open, and he made his way into the entryway to welcome Jay home. "Hey Jay, welcome back," he said, pulling his little brother into a hug. "How was it, did you have a good time?" (Reply to this) (Thread)

likeafirestar
2015-10-26 08:17 am UTC (link)

Jayden gave Jesse what was, essentially, a bear hug. A very scrawny, very weak bear hug. He pulled away, grinning so hard his cheeks were red, and that was more colour than they'd had in them in some time. "It was great! We had so much fun and we were playing games and David and I went swimming even though it was freezing and then I got dared to skinny dip and I did!"

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	jdelacroix 2015-10-26 08:38 am UTC (link)
	Jesse clapped him on the back, pleased at Jayden's enthusiasm. "That's awesome, Jay, I'm really glad you had fun," he said. "Sounds like it was a great time for everyone. But it's good to have you home, too." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	likeafirestar 2015-10-26 08:56 am UTC (link)
	"Good to be home," Jayden grinned. "I love my friends, but not being around so many people is nice. Not that that's saying much here," he laughed. They did have rather a lot of people in their house now. "How were things while I was gone? Did'ja have lots of happy pants time?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

jdelacroix
2015-10-26 09:20 am UTC (link)

Jesse laughed. "You know us," he said. "It's how we roll."

He stuck his hands in his pockets, trying how best to figure out how to break the news about their mother to Jay. Eventually he just decided to go for it.

"Jay, while you were away...we ran into someone," he began. "Ade, Isaiah, and I were out shopping, and we...we ran into Mom. She's not actually dead, as it turns out."

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	likeafirestar 2015-10-26 09:22 am UTC (link)
	Jayden had been excited and happy, right up to the moment where Jesse mentioned their mother, and then he felt his heart drop through his stomach. "She- She's what!?" Jayden asked, his voice suddenly horrified. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	jdelacroix 2015-10-26 09:56 am UTC (link)
	Jesse winced. "Yeah, apparently she's a Welsh goddess or something? She left because Dad found out who she really was, and he...didn't take it well. To put it mildly. So she had to leave." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

likeafirestar
2015-10-26 10:07 am UTC (link)

Jayden shook his head and he stepped back several paces. "No she isn't," he hissed at his brother. There was no way his mother had abandoned him. Not the woman he barely remembered, but had put up on some kind of pedestal of perfection. "You're wrong," he insisted quietly, and then he left Jesse standing there in the hall.

Adrian, who had walked in on the very end of the exchange, gritted his teeth. "Seems that didn't go so well," he said gently. "You okay?"

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jdelacroix
2015-10-31 05:30 am UTC (link)

Jesse just watched him go, sighing heavily. He knew it couldwbe easy for Jay to accept, but it wasn't fair to keep their mom's existence from him, either.

He looked over at Adrian, shrugging one shoulder. "It went about as well as I expected," he said tiredly. "I wasn't really expecting him to jump up and down in joy. And I'm still not sure how I'm dealing with it, so I'll get back to you on that."

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	stormandshadow 2015-11-07 06:29 am UTC (link)
	"Do you think we should get her over here so she can explain?" Adrian asked quietly. "Maybe that would help?" Honestly though, he had no idea what would help. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	jdelacroix 2015-11-07 06:49 am UTC (link)
	"Yeah, we probably should," Jesse agreed. He dug out his phone and texted their mother. "He migh not believe me, but it's hard to argue with a live person standing in front of you." Ceridwen texted back, saying she would head right over. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	stormandshadow 2015-11-07 07:04 am UTC (link)
	While they waited for their mother, Adrian paced back and forth, wringing his hands. He worried so much about his little brother, and he didn't know what do to about this. He wanted to go after Jayden, but was pretty sure he would get the same reaction as Jesse. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crookedwoman 2015-11-07 07:36 am UTC (link)
	When the knock came, Jesse didn't jump, just went over to answer the door. He managed a small, tight smile for their mother, before moving aside to let her inside. "Thanks for coming," he told her. "Jay's not taking it well." Ceridwen pursed her lips, an apprehensive look on her face. "I just hope I won't make things worse." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	likeafirestar 2015-11-07 07:42 am UTC (link)
	"I don't think you could," Adrian said, though his views were clearly misquided. Jayden was standing above his bed, rapidly re-packing his bag with new, clean clothes, when they entered. "Jayden, what are you doing?" Adrian asked. "Packing. I'm staying with-" When Jayden turned and caught sight of his mother, all words left him and he just stared at her. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crookedwoman 2015-11-07 07:52 am UTC (link)
	Ceridwen gave him a small smile. "Hello, Jayden," she said. "It's been a long time." Jesse watched from his post by the door. He couldn't help but feel like!e this had the potential to go really, really badly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

likeafirestar
2015-11-07 08:11 am UTC (link)

Jayden continued to stare at her, his mouth gaping open. She looked like the image he had of her in his mind, though he had only been four when she die- left. When she left him. Chose to leave him.

He narrowed his eyes and twisted his hands in the black t-shirt he happened to be holding. "How dare you," he hissed at her. "How fucking dare you! Do you know what- Do you even care what we went through?! Jesse was homeless! Adrian and Isaiah were raped!"

Adrian, who hadn't told his mother that yet, turned bright red and ducked his head.

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crookedwoman
2015-11-07 09:00 am UTC (link)

"Hey," Isaiah said, from his position behind Jesse. "I get that you're angry, Jay. And I empathize, I do. But that secret wasn't really yours to tell, if Ade or I wanted someone to know, we'd tell them."

Ceridwen, meanwhile, was looking back and forth between her two middle sons, a sad, horrified expression on her face. "Of course I care," she said, turning back to Jayden. "I didn't want to leave at all, but your father...he gave me no choice. You think I wanted to turn my back on you boys? You were my world."

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likeafirestar
2015-11-07 09:06 am UTC (link)

Jayden ignored Isaiah because he couldn't think about the fact that he had just betrayed a confidence. He was too pissed off. "That doesn't make any sense!" Jayden shouted at Ceridwen. "If we were your world, you wouldn't have gone! Or you would have taken us with you! Every bad thing that happened to us was because of you!"

"Jay," Adrian cautioned.

"No!" Jayden screamed at his brother. "Don't defend her! She basically let our father torment us! She left us alone with him, knowing what kind of person he was! Who the fuck does that?! You know what, fuck all of you," he said, turning back to his bag so he could shove the rest of his clothes in. "I'm going to stay with people who haven't betrayed me."

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crookedwoman
2015-11-07 09:28 am UTC (link)

"He found out what I was," she said, keeping her tone even. "And he beat me so badly, I couldn't walk for two days. I had a fractured collarbone and a dislocated shoulder. He called it off with threatening to ruin our collective lives. He'd tell the world who I was, and make sure they locked me away so I could never see you again. I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'm just asking you to try and understand. That I never would have done this willingly. He made the idea of taking you with me impossible. It is a gift that I have lived this long. I'm not powerful or well known, I couldn't have hurt him and taken you boys anyway. I am, for all intents and purposes, a slightly glorified human who makes people tell better stories. And a bit of a witch, but that's neither here nor there."

Jesse looked over at her. "I think that's the !most I've ever heard you say at once," he remarked. "And Jay, come on, please don't leave. We told you as soon as you came back, we didn't try and keep it from you at all."

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likeafirestar
2015-11-07 09:36 am UTC (link)

The thought that his father had beaten her so badly caused an ache to Jayden's chest, and even that he resented. It did, however, get him to stop screaming. Instead he zipped his bag and hefted it onto his shoulder silently.

"So you let him ruin our lives anyway," he nearly whispered as he turned around. "And all of you just forgive her for this. I alone again. Guess that's not new," he shrugged, and yeah it wasn't fair but he was feeling so hurt. "I didn't even know what love felt like until last year when I moved here with Jesse. And it felt so fucking wrong to me I starved myself because I couldn't understand how to be comfortable in a world where I wasn't being hurt. So I hurt myself and I hurt Jesse and everyone who gave even half of a shit, and all of that...every single second of it was avoidable. I'm sorry. I'm going."

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jdelacroix
2015-11-07 10:24 am UTC (link)

"Hey, I'm still working on the forgiving," Jesse said. He looked over at her. "No offense."

"No, no, I deserve that," she replied, shoving one hand through her mess of curls.

"Jay, no one is denying we went through bell after she left," he went on. "But putting all of the blame totally on her isn't very fair, Dad was a mean bastard even before everything fell apart. And it doesn't change the fact that we all love you, so much. That's still true, it'll always be true."

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	likeafirestar 2015-11-07 10:35 am UTC (link)
	Maybe putting the blame on her was unfair, but she was the one who was here. Jayden had never confronted his father, and he never would have. It didn't help that he was feeling seriously abandoned. "I know you do," Jayden replied to Jesse. "I just can't- I can't." Jayden moved to push past all of them, refusing to look at his mother. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

crookedwoman
2015-11-07 11:19 am UTC (link)

Isaiah moved to catch his arm, but Jesse shook his head. "Just let him go," he sighed, sounding very tired. "Forcing him to stay will just make it worse."

Ceridwen sighed. "I didn't think it would go much better, honestly," she said. "And I can't really blame him. I'd probably hate me too."

Jesse pinched the bridge of his nose. "I need a drink," he sighed. "Come on, everybody downstairs. Y'all look like you need one too."

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	stormandshadow 2015-11-07 11:31 am UTC (link)
	Adrian watched as Jayden stormed away, and he looked down at his stockinged feet. That couldn't have gone worse if they'd tried. "Yeah," he said blankly, "drinking. Lots of drinking." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

jdelacroix
2015-11-07 11:50 am UTC (link)

Jesse herded the group down to the kitchen, peering into the fridge to see what he could find.

Ceridwen pulled the kettle from its place by the stove and asked, "Do you have any tea? That's really all I'm in the mood for now." Jesse showed her where the teas were kept, and went back to figuring out drinks. He eventually just pulled out three beers, putting two on the counter before opening his own.

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	stormandshadow 2015-11-07 11:52 am UTC (link)
	Adrian reached for his beer, and then turned to Isaiah and whispered, "you okay?" into his little brother's ear. He was worried about Isaiah's feelings after Jayden spilled their dark secret. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	walkabrokenline 2015-11-09 05:33 am UTC (link)
	Isaiah managed a small, tight smile for his brother. "I wish he hadn't just blurted it out, but I'm...more or less fine," he replied. He thumbed the top of this beer and took a sip. "What about you, how are you doing?" (Reply to this) (Parent)