She had to stand on her tippy toes to hang on, so he relieved her feet from the ground when he scooped his arms around her waist. She was so lite in his arms, so small.
On Jul 14, 2014 8:06 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: That anger was just a mask for her fear and sadness and after he grit the word out and was on the same painful playing field, she put her arms around his neck and held on tightly. She couldn't lose him, not to death, not even for a minute.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 5:04 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "Yes...." He said worth gritted teeth. She was really tripping his brain out now in a place he didn't want to be in.
On Jul 14, 2014 7:53 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She repeated her question, "Do you?" her voice firm and a tad agressive. She had lived his nightmare yesterday, she was reliving it over and over again in her head. She wasn't going to let up till he told her he got it.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 4:50 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: He loathed when she made him face anything he didn't want to. It was seriously not cool. It was top late though, because that image from the con was back in his head, her limp lifeless body and all the things he'd tried to make her wake up. God it was a nightmare. He cringed.
On Jul 14, 2014 7:41 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: "I can't stop imagining it since it happened yesterday. Do you understand now? Do you get why I'm not okay? Why I will never be okay with you dying for any reason or for any amount of time?" she was going to make him face it, to see the pain she was in over this.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 4:39 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "I don't know! Because I wasn't trying to imagine it." His face contorted into the 'stop making me imagine these things I'd rather forget."Stop it already.."
On Jul 14, 2014 7:34 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She wasn't going to let him off the hook. Her wet brown eyes looked right in his and she asked him, "Then why on earth are you trying to make me okay with it?" her voice catching a bit at the end. It was the same thing, only he was at the other end.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 4:31 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "No, not really." She made him uncomfortable when she turned tables on him. It made him squirmy. "Could you just not do that." He hated that kind of imagery in his head.
On Jul 14, 2014 7:21 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She needed to freak out, this was a huge scare, worse than Poseidon even. She closed her eyes for a minute as she felt his hands in her hair and then opened her eyes, the lashes coated in tears, "Would you be okay with me dying? If it was just for a day or a week?" she asked him quietly. He loved to say it was so not a big deal, so she put him in her place. Would he be okay with going through the nightmare at the con and losing her, having her die in his arms and not know when she might come back. And even if she did, it would mean he'd be without her, she wouldn't be in the world, in his life, at all.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 4:12 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "I do..." but he'd blocked it out, he hasn't thought for one second that that was what she felt. He smoothed her hair back, combing his fingers through. He could feel her heartbeat pound through her chest even with the little gap between them. He just shook his head hoping by not saying anything she stopped freaking out. He hated this.
On Jul 14, 2014 7:00 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She looked in his eyes since he was holding her face and she was trying to calm down but it wasn't working too well. "Do you remember the con last year? And how you told me you were so scared when I passed out?" Her hands were still clinging to him as she looked upset, "Do you remember how all that felt? That's what I was going through with you." it was that level of fear, that he might have died, that she didn't know what to do without him.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 3:54 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: He had to hold her because she was absolutely losing it. He wasn't going to baby her, but maybe just a little because seeing her freak out distressed him. He held her face in his hands, kissing her cheek. He needed her to calm the fuck down. "I'm right here..."
On Jul 14, 2014 6:18 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: "That was different! You kissed me in front of Derek and you vomited black, it's just..." she let out a frustrated noise, "I don't care about any of that stuff, I just want you," she put her hands on his chest, "To be okay. That's all I want. For you to be here, alive. And not on the floor, dying." tears came to her eyes again as she recalled how he looked in teh dressing room Her hands fisted into the fabric of his shirt as the turmoil came back over her.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 3:13 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "I'm fucking Greed. I will find a goddamned way when I need to. Don't put me up on some kind bubble now that you think it's never going to work." Christ he hated playing rational adult. "Did you forget the weekend in Vermont? No Virtue. Just us. So don't throw this bullshit in my face that NOTHING is gonna work. You're gonna put a stop to this shitty pity party right now." He wasn't going to have it!
On Jul 14, 2014 5:53 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: "Maybe." she said defiantly. Maybe they should stop. "We don't have options for situations like that! We can't just kiss whenever wherever we want. You're always talking about wanting to do it public places, we will NEVER have that." which didn't matter because even if they could, she wouldn't agree to it, not anytime in the near future anyway. She was just pulling at whatever half logical crazy thought came into her brain. "Our options right now is to be together while being chaperoned by God's psycho hobbit and she makes you sick or to be together in private where I make you sick. THOSE are our options!" and it made her want to just burst into tears. She wasn't crying yet but the stress of the entire day before was starting to break her.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 2:48 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "So what we just stop all together? Is that what you're proposing? We have options, or have you forgotten all about that?" Usually she was the one trying to work around their handicap. Now he was trying to be the rational one.
On Jul 14, 2014 5:31 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She shook her head, she wouldn't agree and she wouldn't look at him, "This time! This time all this stuff happened to make it like that but you know, you KNOW that even without Virtues and influence and all that, you know that if we went too far on our own, the same thing would happen. You VOMIT if your tongue goes in my mouth, you know that if we go too far, you. will. die." he'd said it before himself and now she'd finally seen a taste of what their future held. They weren't allowed to get lost in moments, or they might lose everything.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 2:24 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote: "No you can't. Temperance fucked with me, I fucked it up myself, so stop this bullshit that you made it happen. There was more going on than you lip-locking." He pulled her closer so she would look at him and agree with him. If she kept up with this mental bitch slap they weren't ever gonna make out again and THAT was going to really piss him off.
On Jul 14, 2014 4:54 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She looked at him, so distraught, "But I can." she said as if the thought hurt her physically. She wouldn't kill him, ever. She wouldn't mean to. But just like he hadn't meant to influence her, accidents happened. "I'm not okay with you dying.. not for a week, not for a day. I don't care if its not permanent. Things happen. WE weren't supposed to be together but we are. So things that shouldn't happen do. You don't know what will happen. And even if nothing does, even if you come back and everything's fine again, that's still time without you. It might be days, it might be weeks. And I'm left here wondering and waiting and scared." he was seeing this as his incredible body, not what it did to the person that he left behind.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 1:49 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote: "You won't kill me." He was certain there were a million other things that contributed to that event. He used her in a way with his influence, not purposefully, but enough for it to have made a difference. "Stop blaming yourself. I know thats what your doing."
On Jul 14, 2014 4:18 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She looked at him horrified, "Not important!?" did he not get it? She struggled to get his hand off her arm, "This isn't some illness that just happened to you or some accident that won't happen again. Do you understand that I never thought I'd find someone to love as much as I love you? That my greatest fear is something happening to you? And what does the universe decide? That I am the greatest threat to you because I love you. It's so TWISTED!"
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 1:06 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "Its not important what happens to my body, its not permanent. But you are fucking guilt tripping yourself for no reason. Stop it." He grabbed her arm to jerk her to look at him. He was never going to just let her run away.
On Jul 14, 2014 3:08 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She wanted to tell him to go fuck himself but instead, she threw down whatever clothes she had in her hand and faced off with him, "I would like to go home since you clearly don't give a damn about what happens to you or your body." she threw up her hands imitating him, "Oh baby it'll be FINE! I'll POP back up in a week or so. Well fuck you, okay." her voice was shaking towards the end as she ran a hand through her hair and looked away. Her fear was twisting into anger to use it as a mask but she had no target to aim at and he happened to be standing right there.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 12:02 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: Greed just blinked while she retreated from him to hide in her own plastic bubble. All this over a container of pills? The girl was clearly delusional. He stood in the doorway with his arms crossed. "Escaping the truth, or would you like to tell me what the fuck that was all about?"
On Jul 14, 2014 2:49 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: "My kisses CAN kill you." and there was no argument for it, according to her. If she stuck her tongue in his mouth, he'd explode. She threw her hands up, "Probably nothing! You know what, don't take them if you don't want. You're so right, you shouldn't be in a plastic bubble, you should go to church and wherever the hell you want because that would probably be safer." and she stormed off to the bedroom to change. Church and work and the outside world wasn't the problem, she was.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 11:45 AM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "Your kisses don't kill me. We've made out before and I just passed out. There were a lot of other variables tied in this time." Judging by the way she insisted he take some man made medicine he was certain she was guilt tripping herself. "What happens if I don't take them?" He took another bite of toast smeared with jam.
On Jul 14, 2014 2:32 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: "That's cause you've never been with someone whose kisses could kill you before." she said pointedly. She was worried about so many things. What were the long term effects of her kisses? Was his body getting weaker? Was she putting a strain on it? She opened the container, took out two pills and put them on his plate. He needed them. She needed him to take them.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 11:17 AM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "It's centuries of years old, its holding up pretty good I think," he grumbled shaking the pills in the container. "I don't need these." He set them aside, taking his tea and a big bite of toast. It still didn't give him insight on why she was being so funny. Almost like she was scared to touch him.
On Jul 14, 2014 1:29 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She brought the tray over, the tea still pretty hot as she set it in front of him, "Tea. Pills. Toast." she pointed to each thing in turn, "And fruit if you want." she gave him a funny look, "You had a heart attack yesterday. That's why. You might be a Sin and you might be immortal but this body of yours?" she punched him in the arm, "Very very real. Not indestructible." she thought she answered his question but she was giving him facts about him and nothing about her own reasons.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 10:25 AM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: He watched her carefully. Even when she pulled away she was hesitant. "I should become an evangelist. I'd have a mansion." She was acting funny in a way he didn't know how to react to, so he just observed. "Any reason you don't want to let me out of my plastic bubble?"
On Jul 14, 2014 12:48 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: "People call in all the time to donate money and praise Jesus and statues and the ghost guy. Thats how evangelists make their money." she said in a fake perky voice as she rubbed his chest, "Hey! You can even tell them about how you almost died and ask them why God's such a dickhead." a bitter undertone to her voice as she let him go so she could get the food she'd made for him.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 9:45 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "It's not like a radio talk show," but he could see her point. He had to slow down a bit while he usually would just keep going. Greed didn't take rest stops, he just kept driving until he was tired. If didn't he thought he might just be peeling her off the floor. He hadn't really seen her this way before. It was an old but entirely new emotion, one that had her completely out of sorts.
On Jul 14, 2014 12:17 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: Zoe sighed in relief and went over to him, putting her arms around his neck from behind and resting her cheek on his head. She was grateful he was staying, she didn't believe he was 100% better. "You can watch the evangelists on TV and call in to bug them." she suggested. It'd be like getting the kicks at church, but just by proxy.
On Mon, Jul 14, 2014 at 9:14 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "I always go...." but those baby seal eyes were about to pop and bob up and down in a flood of water. With a reluctant sigh he took a seat and started to unbutton his vest.
On Jul 14, 2014 2:18 AM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She crossed her arms over her chest as he whined and kept getting ready. She looked at him defiantly and while he used crocidile tears to get what he wanted, very real tears came to Zoe's eyes, filling them up and threatening to spill over if he didn't stop. She didn't say one word, just glared with watery eyes.
On Sun, Jul 13, 2014 at 11:16 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote: "It's just church." He whined tucking in his shirt tails. "You don't need to cry over that." But he saw her trembling which made him stop in his tracks. "Zoe..."she didn't need too be like that. "I'm fine. Healthy as a horse."
On Jul 13, 2014 10:19 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She put her hands on her hips, "You had a heart attack yesterday!" or did he forget? Well, it wasn't a full one, but close enough. "You have to get rest. I can't force you not to go but I WILL cry my eyes out if you don't." and it wasn't even a threat as much as a promise as her bottom lip was already trembling. He had scared her to death the day before and she wasn't over it.
On Sun, Jul 13, 2014 at 6:52 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "I always go to church on Sunday." He tugged at his best, stepping away from her so he could button it up. "You can't make me not go."
On Jul 13, 2014 9:06 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: Zoe looked at him in disbelief, "Uh, what're you doing? No church today for you." she walked over to him to help him take that stuff off, "You have to get your butt in bed, drink tea, and eat toast."
On Sun, Jul 13, 2014 at 6:03 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: Greed was usually up as soon as the sun rose to get ready for church. He started picking through his closet for clothes to wear. He hadn't even acknowledged the fact he'd spent all of yesterday in a hospital. He came out cleaned and dressed in Alaska and a shirt he had halfway buttoned up, a vest he was putting his arms through. He'd followed his nose to the kitchen to find Zoe still around.
On Jul 13, 2014 8:20 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: By the morning, Sunday morning, Zoe was out of bed by the time Greed was awake. She wasn't gone. She was in the kitchen, making breakfast and putting it on a tray. Something light, buttered toast, earl grey tea, and some cut up fruit. She knew he'd want to go to church but she wasn't gonna let him as she also had pills on the plates that the doctor had suggested.