Zoe (history_repeats) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2014-04-29 22:27:00 |
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Entry tags: | greed, zoe hansen |
WHO: Greed & Zoe
WHEN: Tuesday
WHERE: Greed's work, Greed's apartment
WHAT: Nightmares
WARNING: Choking
In the next few days, Zoe was kinda surprised when Derek visited her at work, it was just a friendly visit and she told him quite firmly that she had zero plans on leaving Greed and Derek insisted he just wanted to be friends. Zoe told Greed about it of course because it was weird but the man was not as pushy as before so she was willing to let it go for now. When Greed got off work finally and made it to the lobby, he had a surprise waiting for him: his girlfriend. She wore a polka dotted shirt and had a shit eating grin he could be proud of because she so wore it just because he said he hated polka dots. But she also wore a chunky yellow necklace because that was his favorite color. But she couldn't resist teasing him.
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Greed had had a less than thrilling day, usually he was bouncy when he got out work, but seeing Derek around until this deal was closed had made it a little sour. It nudged the needle in just enough to irritate him. So, when he walked out into the lobby to see his busty, curvy, smiling girlfriend he had to take a moment to breathe. "Did a bird poop on your shirt?" she was wearing polka dots---clearly she was delusional.
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"Ha. Ha. Ha. Several birds. The squirrels had a party and it just got crazy." she kissed his cheek, "You look like you got beat up... a very handsome beat up." she added that before he'd think she was calling him ugly or something. A flicker of a grimace crossed her face as she saw behind Greed Derek also leaving and about ten feet behind Greed. "Aw Zoey, you came to wish me goodnight?" he said in a joking manner as he approached them. "So sweet."
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He wiped off her shoulder as if the action could actually wash away the litter of polka dots. He had honed in on her necklace when he heard that voice which was nails on a chalk board to his ears.He grimaced with his jaw clenched. Wanna be frat boy needed to get his digs in on someone else because he was enjoying this seeing Zoe thing a little too much, and Greed was a dog getting pissed on. He had his teeth bared ready to snap and bite.
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She poked his stomach with a grin when he wiped at her shoulder but her mood also soured at Derek's voice. She took Greed's arm and eyed her ex carefully, "Yeah... well, goodnight Derek. We have to be getting home." Derek asked, "He gonna drop you off?" Zoe gave a tight smile, "Nope." and tugged on Greed's arm to get him to move. She didn't want to talk to Derek and she was annoyed that he thought she wouldn't be going home with Greed.
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Greed looked over his shoulder with a smarmy grin, mouthing that she likes 'big white dick.' It was enough to shut Derek up and make Greed laugh so he didn't smash into walls like the Hulk. He had a job to protect and with Derek stepping on toes into his personal things had Greed in a tizzy.
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Derek got the message but luckily Zoe didn't see so she wouldn't die of embarrassment. She kept hold of his arm as they went to his car, frowning, "What's so funny?" she didn't see anything amusing about Derek and his idiocy.
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"Nothing." He held his nose in the air. "I think he just realized that by going home it means you get to fuck me." He looked down losing that smile as he got into the car. "But that shirt...It has to go."
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"I think it's more like you get to fuck me. Tho if we're going to your place, no one's fucking anybody." she got in the car and looked down at her shirt, "I still like it... and if it bugs you that much, you're gonna have to wait till I can change it, I can't be half naked in your car."
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"I don't see where we could go wrong. That's a lot of fucking to do." He hasn't even started the car, his keys still in his pocket. "No," he held up his finger in thought, turning around to the back to dig through a million shopping bags. When he found what he was looking for he tossed it in her lap. "Put that on."
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She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "Are you serious? You hate my shirt that much?" she picked up the shirt and started laughing. She looked at him, "It's in my size.. did you get this for me?" she held it up against her and looked down at the very accurate SINNER on the front.
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"Oh it's not my size?" He could pretend he didn't realize it. Greed often did these shopping binges when he needed a boost. Derek had definitely trampled Greed's stomping ground. Greed was just stamping his name to things to make a point.
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She put it on over her spotty shirt and wriggled around underneath it to take the other shirt off but not flash him or anyone else. "Nope, it fits me." she knew he got it for her even if he didn't want to admit it. He seemed in a bad mood still so she did something that she would do only for him. Once she was settlled in the shirt, while making sure he was watching, she reached back and undid the hook on her bra through the shirt and then did the trick every guy for some reason always went moony eyed over, she took her bra out through the sleeve. "That has polka dots on it too." she said innocently as if she hadn't just basically announced to him that all that was separating him from her was that sinner shirt.
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"Do the underwear match?" As if he coukd squeeze out one more article of clothing from her. He stripped his jacket off to give her some incentive. It probably wasnt going to work, but that wouldn't stop him from trying. The shirt looked nice and snug on all her best features, the words Sinner clamped right where it needed to be, on her breasts. It made him grin.
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"Mayyybe.... but I am not turning your car into a strip joint." she knew he'd take off whatever she wanted without her having to ask. She put her hand on his thigh, "But if you take us home you can find out if they match and do whatever you like to them..." and she raised a brow.
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"Awww why not, I'd enjoy it...maybe I could rig a dance pole in here." Her thigh grab though was enough to detour his thoughts to what could be done at her place verses the car and he was quick to crank her up.
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She laughed, "That would be one short pole and there is no way you'd ever get me on it. You could dance on a pole for me tho. Hell, even without a pole..." her hand stayed on his thigh as she asked, "Do you want to order in at your place or mine?" since saying 'home' meant either/or. But since he was stressed with Derek and work, and she had less work going on, Zoe didn't mind letting Greed make these minor decisions.
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Going to his place didn't mean they couldnt do anything, but it was where he felt less vulnerable in times like this. He needed it right now. It was his very own fort.
"I can dance for you," he lifted that wiggly bushy brow as he tapped his hands on the wheel. "My place."
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She laughed, "That would be fun..." tho she was sure he'd make her blush somehow even if he was the one stripping. She gave a bright smile, "Do you know how awesome it is that we can go straight to your place? And I don't have to worry about having a change of clothes or a toothbrush or anything?" it'd been months since he'd allowed her to keep some stuff at his place but by now it'd grown a little and she really didn't need to even think if she had underwear or something to sleep in or more than one fresh shirt or pants at his place and it gave her a contentment that could be seen on her face.
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He slipped her hand up his thigh. "Oh you'd enjoy it, I promise you." He was good at stripping and dancing. "Want me to put a stripper pole in my apartment?" She was so excited, it made him more confident in the decision.
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She smacked his leg when he moved her hand up, "You know, I'm kinda surprised you don't have one already. Did you have one in your old place?" she didn't like hearing about the other girls he'd been with but she was curious about his life and his lifestyle always. And even tho his current place already gave her nightmares of getting buried under a stack of newspapers, she loved going there because it was where he felt the most relaxed and that's how she loved him.
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"I may have....I may have had a swing too." He winked. Her curiosity was something he enjoyed at least she explored his likes and dislikes. She wanted to know, she asked questions, she involved herself into his rat maze of a brain.
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She wrinkled her nose, "A swing? How did it even fit into your apartment?" tho she thought about it, "I always liked the idea of having a swing on a big porch, something to curl up in with you." even tho that hadn't been what he meant.
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"How do I fit anything into my apartment? I make room." It didn't mean there was space, it just meant he crammed it in where he saw fit. He rode with the windows down again, his hair a fluffy mess by the time they reached his apartment----now everything felt good. He wasn't ready to strangle someone.
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She literally jumped on him after they got out of the car, her hand messing with his blonde puff of a head, "You look like a cute golden retriever puppy with your hair like this. I think your hair messy and fluffy is to me what my hair curly is to you."
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"Jesus....what in the..." before he knew it he was attacked by a rabid girlfriend who had to fondle his hair. "What is with you and my hair...." it was almost as if this was as important to her as the squirrel on his face.
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She jumped a couple of times and put her arms around his neck, "It's so fluffy!", climbing him practically to get on his back. Her face popped up next to his as she said, "I will answer that when you tell me what is with you and my hair." yes, she was totally getting a piggy back ride from him now.
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"Fuck...what...." and she was a lemur combing her fingers through his hair. "Your hair feels like cotton candy and smells like coconuts." He especially loved the wavy curls, it was a waterfall of hair.
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She kissed his temple, "So does yours.. its soft. When it isn't mangled with a billion hair products." she kept one arm around his neck to hold on and sniffed his hair, "And yours smells like coconuts too... are you still using my shampoo?"
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"Hey! It takes a lot of work to look this sexy. Appreciate it." He was grumpy while he held her up from slipping down his back. With as many grooves and bumps to his muscular back, it probably was like rock climbing for her. "And so what if I am? I like coconuts." Hers specifically.
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"I think you also look super sexy when you don't put that much work into it." she nuzzled her nose in his fluff and squeezed him around his neck, he could feel her smile against his skin, "Oh you do, huh? How long you been likin coconuts?"
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He growled at her as she teased him. "I like my highly produced hair with perfect placement. I'm not a monkey." He wiggled her up his back as she slid from his grip. "I've liked coconuts since you kicked me out after the con." He didn't want to bring that up, he didn't like it.
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She nipped his ear playfully, "I like you as a monkey." she made a noise of surprise as he hoisted her back up to keep his grip and pressed her cheek to his hair, "Aww, well you deserved it. See I thought you'd say something romantic like 'I've liked coconuts since the day I met you'." keeping her tone light to try to steer him away from the dark topic he was dipping in.
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"I didn't like coconuts before..." women always smelled like perfume, fruits, some scents that were overdone. "Then when you were missing I needed something of yours." He was being serious, but he couldn't help it.
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She could understand that, "I slept in your shirt a lot while we were apart." she admitted. She missed him but she wasn't going to let him step all over her because that hurt worse. "But I'm with you now. All the coconuts you want." but he still used her shampoo for some reason.
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"Did you? Is that why I haven't seen it since?" She had a thing for stealing his shirts, but he only allowed them if she gave them back, or promised him something better. He walked them to the stairs and up to that lavish apartment that was slowly being filled with his spending purges, which since she had come to "stay" with him had more of her things than he'd ever allowed before. He was quiet as he trucked up the stairs, letting her slide down to her feet as he jingled his keys to open up.
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"Hey, you see it whenever you come over. It's in your drawer at my place with the rest of your stuff... not counting the other things you squirrel away." over the months, his half drawer at her place had turned into the full drawer for his stuff. When he let her down and opened the apartment door, she looked at him with concern, "Are you okay?"
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The door creaked open as he pushed it free from the lock. In the dark there was nothing but hovering shadows of furniture and things stacked upon things. It may not look like a hoarder's mess that they showed on television as Greed did not live with roaches and other nasty bits, but he still managed to accumulate more than the average person. It was his space....his space which was why having even a little of hers filtering in took some getting used to. She was an important part of his greedy world, but there was some segue that he hadn't quite gotten the hang of yet.
He flipped on the lights letting it bounce over all the expensive furniture, lighting up the yellow walls and art adorning them. There was still a stack of junk mail piled up on his kitchen table. Possibly a few papers he'd stuffed under a stack of towering magazines that suggested he do a little more house cleaning than he was comfortable with. The stack of magazines was in danger of cascading down onto the floor with the smallest brush of air.
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When he didn't answer her, she got more worried and walked in after him, "Chance--" her arm lightly brushed against the huge stack of magazines and she gave a short yelp of surprise as the tower of paper crashed against her, making her lose her balance and end up on the floor with the magazines spilling on her.
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"What are you doing?" In Greed's head this was an invasion. He swooped down starting to pick up and stack the books back up in their specific order. The mail and everything else that had been stuffed underneath was also scattered on the floor. One thing that disrupted a hoarder was the possibility that they might lose the things they cared so much about, or the things they put their energy into. Unless someone devised a solution that made pieces of their world not as important as others then they might lose their grip on something not as valuable anymore. The problem with Greed was prying his hands off anything. He had some expensive pieces, and he had things that most people overlooked.
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"What are you doing?" In Greed's head this was an invasion. He swooped down starting to pick up and stack the books back up in their specific order. The mail and everything else that had been stuffed underneath was also scattered on the floor. One thing that disrupted a hoarder was the possibility that they might lose the things they cared so much about, or the things they put their energy into. Unless someone devised a solution that made pieces of their world not as important as others then they might lose their grip on something not as valuable anymore. The problem with Greed was prying his hands off anything. He had some expensive pieces, and he had things that most people overlooked.
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"Ugh, why yes, I'm fine, thanks...." she said in a sarcastic tone since he had more care for his stupid magazines than her. She huffed and helped collect the scattered mail until one paper caught her eye. She picked it up and read over it with a frown, "What the... Chance, have you seen this?" she held the paper up, a warning of eviction if he didn't get his apartment in order. The place was a very rich swanky area, they probably didn't want hoarders, even rich ones, living there.
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He snatched a book out of her hand and continued trying to put this "mess" back in place. "What?" he snapped, ripping the paper from her hands. "I saw it when it came in...." he'd ignored it promptly as he had other issues on his plate including one that involved her ex. It seemed every little aspect of his perfect world was trying to crumble under his feet again and Greed was putting it back together with duct tape.
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She frowned, "Will you stop..." she put her hands over his to get him to still and looked at him, a threat like that would be devastating but... "Why didn't you tell me?" she wasn't accusing, just concerned.
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Poseidon had threatened an eviction notice at him before and it crushed him nearly, Greed was just hoping this one was nothing more than a dream. "I had other things on my mind." He stilled only for a minute. "I have to get these up." It was going to drive him crazy. The neighbors saw how much he drug into his apartment and how much space it really had. Someone had complained and brought the attention to his landlord. It made him twitchy.
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"Hey hey..." she took his hands and gripped them to keep him there, she leaned in, her brow resting against his, "Take a breath. WE will get them up. We'll figure this out." she squeezed his hands, "If you can tell me a story about the pigeon on the windowsill, you can also tell me about this stuff."
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He didn't meet her eyes but he took a deep breath, moving out of his crouched position to sit on the floor. "No one stays out of my business anymore. Everyone wants to take something from me." Always. Greed was very popular among the masses, this was just part of the territory. There were only so many storage units and boxes he could use to pack away his life (and it was a long one to catalogue). "When duckface showed up, I kind of had other territory to piss on." He meant Derek. He'd just assumed the eviction notice was a warning. He still had time right?
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She moved to sit in his lap so he could cuddle her like a teddy bear and she put her arms around him in a warm loving hug, "I don't stay stay out of your business because I care about you and you don't need to piss on me, I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours." she kissed his cheek, "This apartment is your home and no one is going to take it." she said it with confidence because she wasn't going to let him lose another home, not after he'd let her into it.
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Her arms were welcomed but he was still a bit twitchy. "I want to keep my things. I don't want them snatched away. I just thought it was a warning..." but it was more than that. "It's happening all over again..." just without the assistance of an old sea god.
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She cuddled him, "You will keep your things. No one will snatch them away. It IS just a warning and we are going to make this place come up to regulations so they won't bother you with these threats, okay?" she kissed him and then said, "But I want you to be open with me, stop trying to deal with everything on your own. I'm here with you." sometimes it felt like when he went into protecting her mode, she became more of an object for him to guard than a person for him to love.
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"I was in my own head." When he did that it created more problems because he was focused on what he needed to do to secure what was threatened. "What are we going to do?" He asked with uncertainty. His lips hung close, arms getting comfortable in their grip. She was still braless, but his mind was chaotic. She needed to settle it before talking to him rationally.
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She kissed him again sweetly, "Can I come in your head too?" she asked and kissed him again. She sighed when he asked what they were going to do. "First, we're going to go to the bedroom, we're going to get out of our day clothes, we're going to lie down, and we're going to talk about all the things you've been storing up in your head. And tomorrow, we're gonna tackle this and solve it." she said in reference to the eviction notice.
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"I dunno...." he breathed heavy trying hard to let her be a part of the space that was not just this apartment but his head too. When it was threatened it completely changed everything. "It's awfully crowded in there." Could she take it? He hadn't let it all go recently which put him in this standoffish mood she was learning how to deal with. The Zoe ages ago would have taken it personally. He whimpered softly, this was extremely difficult to do after he'd put a number of padlocks on his own brain, now he was just slowly undoing them all. Greed rested his head on her shoulder, kissing her neck where there was the promise of nothing under her shirt since she'd left the polka dots out of this. He was the only one with barriers and many layered clothes.
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She knew this was difficult for him so kept her arms around him and let her skin and lips and scent distract him, "I'm really small.." she said in a light voice and kissed his frog tattoo before whispering, "Knock, knock, Avaritia..." she wanted in, and it wasn't to take over or take something away, she wanted in his mind and his apartment because she wanted to help him make sense of the chaos and the clutter.
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No one ever tried to make sense of his cluttered, chaotic world. It was just Greed. It was how he worked and the world saw the facets they wanted. This was deep inner workings of a madman that no one else could actually understand. Not even Lust could understand this side of him. "How small?" he squeaked closing his eyes so that it might help the decision. It was a big deal for him to let her have a space in his apartment (no matter how tiny it was), she had already wiggled in a space within what he assumed was a non-existent Sin heart and body, but now....now it was in his head. That was sacred territory. His eyes rolled back under those thick lashes, mouth open just enough that she could feel his breath tingling against her neck. Her call wasn't desperate or invading, it was simple and above all she'd used his name and that was almost like a secret password. He wanted her to handle it because no one else ever tried.
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"Tiny." her hand went to the nape of his neck, stroking his hair there and letting it go through her fingers as she trailed her hand up, "Could fit me in your pocket..." her voice still hushed. She wouldn't force him, she wouldn't beg, she was giving him the option. She was standing on his doorstep and it was his decision. She knew it would be insane if she got in.. but she was willing to venture there if he was willing to have her.
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His breath stalled as he shivered from her touch. So small and inviting, she was very careful in her words so he didn't feel like she was banging on the door. He still couldn't just give in yet, no matter how much he wanted her to, that was his. The one thing no one else had seeped into. That was why he hated Envy so much because the bastard could dig into thoughts that hovered in his head, this----this was something entirely new. This was letting a human girl in who could hate what she saw. He'd told her stories yes, but this was actually inviting her to stay in his head for a little longer than story telling time.
He was still thinking, not a decision he was comfortable making right away.
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She nuzzled his ear, it was hard for her to not get an answer right away, and for him to reject her.. but she was learning how to be with this boy. "Think about it... tomorrow." she was giving him room to breathe, not pressuring him. "Tonight... let's just go to bed. If you want me there..." and she kissed his neck.He had the control, this was his apartment, his girlfriend, and even tho she was expertly nudging things this way and that, it was still all his decisions.
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His hands rained down her sides, grabbing into the material of her perfect form fitting shirt. Whether or not he passed out right now or not, his kiss was her answer. She wasn't going anywhere tonight. He needed someone even if that someone was asking for something he wasn't ready to give.
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She kissed him back but made sure that he was driving. They couldn't have sex but it didn't mean they couldn't touch and she'd let him feel like he was in control. When to go, where to place her, what clothing to take off. She'd used to not like the idea of someone being 'controlling' but she found that when she was aware of it, when she was giving him that control, she still was her own person, making her own decisions and it wasn't like being trapped as she'd felt before in other situations. She knew he needed it and she loved him, so she gave it to him.
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He knew his boundaries, and honestly right now he wanted this to last a little longer than five seconds, so he held back a little. No tongue, not yet, but it was enough of a kiss to heat him up. Enough of one that he needed to get rid of his vest and shirt. He fumbled with the buttons, contouring his arms to get out of it in between needy kisses.
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Zoe helped him, while he fumbled with his clothes, she grabbed his shoes and took them off since he always felt better with them off but never remembered to take them off. Tho really, this wasn't going to end in the needy sex he wanted. She gave him the kisses he desired, anything that they could do, she'd give him that. Her poor boy seemed.. lost in a fog. She wanted to be his light.
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He kissed her until his lips were raw and he didn't have the energy. When the sin couldn't take anymore of her feelings. He just collapsed with her arms tangled around him. With his mind in that heavy, obscure fog he couldn't stay asleep. When his mind continued to roll constantly on a spinner without his body to follow, his dreams took over. She'd seen him in nightmares before, but they were not as close as then as they were now. He couldn't control the inner demons that threatened her existence in his world.
He stirred in his slumber, twitching, brows thick and looming over his face. Whatever he was thinking about he was troubled by, and looked ready to murder anyone in his way.
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She slept peacefully since he was there, she didn't spread out in the large bed, she stayed close to him in her undies and SINNER shirt which is all he'd left her in. In reality she was sleeping next to him but the version of Zoe in his dreams was dressed in an old fashioned yellow dress that swirled around her naked legs and had a sparkling gold collar which was weird since she was with Greed at another convention. They'd had fun at the last one.. didn't they?
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The last geek convention was one that had turned their relationship up on it's head. He'd dragged her through the ringer and she'd managed to come out with more than bruises. Greed seemed a bit confused. He was dressed high class as always, the only thing showcasing his inner geek was the superhero shirt under his fancy jacket. He was surprised he'd managed to talk her into another one of these considering the rave from last time, but there she was shining in yellow and glitter. But something else was off....because there was someone else in that dream that shouldn't be there. Derek waved, coming up to them much like he had the first time with his attention to Zoe. He looked way too comfortable. It was the first time in a long time that Greed had felt like a third wheel.
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In the dream, Derek presented Zoe with a bouquet of roses which she fawned over. That was what mortal boyfriends did, they gave their girlfriends flowers. She kissed Derek on the cheek and batted those bambi eyes at him as he took one of the roses, a white one and placed it behind her ear, the petals turning blood red.
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Greed clenched his jaw, his hand curling into a fist as it sat at his side. The rose started to wilt almost immediately as he pushed himself in between them, jerking Zoe by the arm and not letting go. He clamped his hand on her wrist, making it a vice to ground her to him. Derek was not smuggling her away right under his nose. He was standing right there, what was she drugged?
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But it was a dream and despite his hold on her, Zoe lifted her hand, now out of his hold, he had nothing in his hand and she gave it to Derek with a smile. Derek looked evil as he pulled Zoe to him, giving Greed a mocking look, "You don't mind, right?" his arms going around her, his hand sliding over her butt.
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Greed's nostrils flared as she was snatched right from his hands---and so easily. "She's not yours." His voice was dark, dangerously so. Her arms, her ass, her lips, they were all meant for him. He had practically melted her into him, branded her, she was not to be plucked by her past. Yet, there she was moony-eyed with a smile that wasn't for him. "Zoe---" he called out feeling his words stuck in his throat. He stepped up again ready to drag her away but his feet were cemented to the floor.
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Zoe glared at Greed, "Shut up, Derek's talking." she looked at Derek again, "What were you saying, baby?" it was a petname Zoe never used in real life. Derek all of a sudden had a diamond engagement ring in his hand that he presented to Zoe, "Will you marry me?" he asked. Zoe looked ecstatic, "Oh my god, yes!!" her eyes shining as she gave him her hand and he put the ring on her ring finger and kissed her deeply in a way Greed could only do if they had the tokyo tower around.
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He had to be in a dream? Only a dream would be this cruel or so stupid, stringing together all the things he wasn't capable of and flaunting them in his face. In reality Greed was twitchy, grabbing at the sheets on the bed as he grabbed for Derek's shirt in the dream. Greed was ready to kill and he would without a second thought as he flung this thug around. He would make him bleed before he put that ring on Zoe's finger.
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But it was a dream and Derek poofed out of his grasp. The con was gone, the people and noise stopped. It was replaced by a peaceful silence and wooden arches. Greed would recognize it as his favorite church. "Are you ready?" came Zoe's soft voice, she stood at the altar wearing an ivory wedding dress with the sleeves made out of delicate see through lace, the train of her veil cascading down behind her.
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He reached for her hand again, but almost as soon as he'd linked her fingers she was gone and in front of him and stood with Derek. The music playing in the background was a sick ballad of lost love and broken hearts. He lunged forward dragging Derek down by his coat collar, rolling on the floor in a wrestling match all over Zoe's lacy white train. He'd soak it in blood and rip it from her head to tie around Derek's neck like a noose.
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But in this dream, Greed was powerless. That veil of hers turned red but with Greed's own blood as the lace tied a knot around him to hold him back so he could watch Zoe marry Derek. Greed had given Zoe a rose gold bracelet but Derek was putting a gold band on her finger. Something Greed couldn't give her.
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His rose gold band was just a shattered image on the ground as he curled himself into the lacy veil. It was wrapped around him like a blanket, a child trying to ward off all the shadows that followed him. The dream wasn't yet done with him, there was more to slam in his face. He trudged down aisle of the church, the train of lace dragging behind him. Each time he chose an empty pew to sit down it became full of zombie-like bodies who's heads swiveled to glare at him as he stumbled to the front.
The priest stood between Zoe and Derek. He motioned with his hands, pouring water down a giggly little baby's forehead. He said her name which echoed in Greed's ears. It wouldn't stop, just on repeat the word's of their would be child....
Ava.
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The baby was bouncy and happy and she was just like Zoe had said, she had blonde hair and Zoe's eyes with that crazy laugh of his but Greed wasn't holding her. Derek was holding the baby in one arm, They kissed with thier baby staring at Greed. They were a family, they were something Greed could never ever have with Zoe. But the real Zoe had woken up when Greed kept grappling with the sheets and twitching. She shook him, "Chance.." she said softly before repeating his name louder.
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The baby giggled as she clapped her hands, those big blue eyes staring back at Greed as he wrapped himself tighter in the veil. The sheets were now contorted around him as Zoe called for him but he couldn't hear her, his thick lashes wet from the tears he hadn't even known fell in his sleep. He wanted to climb out of this nightmare, but he couldn't yet.
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Zoe was more awake now and sat up and looked at Greed with worry, "Chance..." she shook him harder, "Chance! Wake up!" he was crying? Her hand went to his to try to pry it from the sheet. While in the dream Derek was right in Greed's face as he said, "Hey, thanks for being a placeholder and keeping her warm for me."
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His hands reached out to grip around the man he thought he was choking. He wrestled him again to the floor of the church, the baby Ava crying as she held close to her mother. The swaddle of baby gurgled on it's own blood, spilling out onto the floor as the two men strangled each other. By then Zoe wasn't there anymore, just Derek and an audience of zombie-eyed guests circling around them.
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Zoe was alarmed when Greed's hands went for her throat and knocked her back on the bed. Her eyes went wide and she tried to pry his hands off as she struggled under him, "Chance...!" her voice came out in as loud a scream as she could manage and she kicked at him to wake up. He'd lost her in his dreams and he'd lose her in reality if he didn't let her go as he fought his Derek demons in his head.
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It was her scream that kicked in, jarring him from that deep sleep, her knee connecting to his side in a strong kick as she struggled with him. It knocked him back, sweating and completely out of his head. The fog from earlier was still there, only now it had choked him. He released her not even realizing what had just happened.
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She took in a big gulp of air when he let her throat go and coughed it all out, half way sitting up with one hand on her neck as she tried to calm down. At least he wasn't choking her anymore..
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Greed sat back with her legs still under him as he pulled up the bed sheet to wrap around him as he had in the dream. He was cold, he felt cold now, as if something had been ripped from him. He couldn't even meet her eyes because somewhere he was still trying piece together his trip back to reality.
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Zoe sat up fully and took a deep breath... then smacked at him with both hands, "What's wrong with you!?" she whisper shouted and kept hitting him for another few seconds, "You choked me! What were you dreaming of??"
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He had that confused sad puppy look on his face. "I don't know...." was she really there? Or was his head just playing evil mind games again? He looked like he might just cry again.
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"Then we better find out, Chance.. you were choking me." she put a hand on her neck, "That could have done some serious damage if you hadn't woken up." her tone got softer as she tried to pry his hands away from the blanket because she wanted him to cling to her instead, "What were you dreaming about?"
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His jaw clenched back and forth as he crawled off her and curled himself into a cocoon with the blanket. His brows creased as he tried to grapple his thoughts to explain. He was going to be letting her into his head because he needed to, not because he'd chosen to.
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She put a hand on his arm and frowned, she didn't say anything but she just wanted him to know she was there. Whatever was going on in his head was now spilling into their relationship in a very dangerous way. It was either let her help or... sleep in separate beds till he figured it out or something.
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He uncurled his hands from the blanket, letting it just drape over his shoulders, giving her the smallest of spaces to wiggle in. His head hung trying to cough up what had been going on. More importantly he'd nearly rid this world of the only thing he treasured as much as her. He needed a moment. He was trying to let her in.
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She lay down next to him, facing him. She wouldn't snuggle him, she gave him room to breathe, he'd reach for her when he was ready. But her brown eyes were bigger than ever, searching his face with such concern as she rubbed his arm soothingly.
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"It wasn't a dream it was a nightmare...." he looked at the words across her shirt, the one he'd bought, repeating each letter in his head as his eyes dragged across. "You didn't want me. You wanted Derek...." but that wasn't what troubled him it was all the things roped together in one bundle of the things that as Greed he'd never be able to give her.
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She snorted a laugh, she couldn't help it. "Sorry." she immediately said and then went back to rubbing his arm, "But do you know how ridiculous that is? Two things that will never happen. Me not wanting you and me wanting Derek." it was just not even something feasible in her mind.
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Greed's eyes shot up, his lips in a straight line. He wasn't laughing. "You had your wedding, Ava, I was just a placeholder." He was hit like a ton of bricks and she was laughing at him.
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She gave him a look, "My wedding? And Ava?" she scooted a tiny bit closer, "Okay... I didn't realize you'd proposed. Did I miss it somewhere?" then she frowned, "Wait, a placeholder for what?" if she ever did get married, it would be to Greed so she was having a hard time following his crazy train.
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She wasn't getting it, to her credit he wasn't really making any sense just a bunch of broken words that he was trying to string together into a story. "It wasn't me. It was Derek. You married him. You had Ava with him. I was just a warm body for a life I can't ever give you." He was mad now, throwing the blanket over his face because this was humiliating.
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Her mouth dropped open, "So you choked me for it?" she was kinda half teasing but she grabbed the blanket and pulled it off his head, "Chance, you don't really believe any of that, do you? That I'm using you until Derek proposes so i can run away with him?" he had to know it was just a nightmare.
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He wouldn't let her peel the sheet back as he pulled it back over his head, talking through it like a child. "No, I was choking him. I was going to kill him and lock you up in the basement somewhere and make you stay with me."
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She tugged on the blanket again to get him to take it off, "You were choking ME, not him. And if you killed him, you'd go to jail and that'd make me very sad. Plus, you can't make me stay with you when I want to stay with you." she yanked on the blanket with a big pull.
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"WELL, I didn't know it was YOU!" He was so deep in his head he couldn't climb out of it. By the time she had yanked the blanket off his head, his fluffy blonde hair stuck out in a million different directions and he closed his eyes tightly. "It felt real!" could she fault him for that? For everything that had been going on? Could he really help it?
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She took his hands and moved them around her, "Did it feel as real as this?" she snuggled her warm body with the squishy bits he loved against him as she smoothed back his hair, "Or this?" and she kissed him with a slam of emotion. The first thing was he had to realize what was real and what wasn't.
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His lips reluctantly moved against hers, but once they found that comfort they did not push her away. His arms looped around her, closing her in tightly. This time the vice grip was one a lot more loving than when he'd attempted to choke her. Her hands felt real sliding into his hair, massaging their way up his scalp. Her lips felt warm, quickly heating up the coldness he'd taken in after the nightmare, and her body melted into him, not the stiff contours of a pillow or bed sheet bunched in his hands.
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Being crushed in his grip when it was out of passion and love was something she could handle, those bruises were worth it. Her legs tangled with his, totally twisting their bodies together. She broke the kiss just to say softly, "This is what's real. You and me. Nothing and no one else." she kissed him deeply again, enough to give him a burn but she broke it before he'd get sick. She kept her arms around him and waited for him to spill about what else was bugging him.
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He clung to her lips as long as she let him, still reaching for more when she pulled back. His tongue came out to wet his lips and suck in that fat bottom one while he contemplated telling her more. She tasted real. She felt real. This was his reality not his nightmare. "It unsettles me. This past of yours ramming me in the face. I want to kill him and destroy it so bad." Maybe if it never happened then he wouldn't have to contend with it.
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She gave him a soft look, "Now you know how I feel." and she played with his hair, stroking it back from his face and unable to meet his gaze. His sister was her Derek. His sister was his past and it kept looming on the horizon and she hated it. It scared her. It made her as crazy as he felt now.
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Greed always fished for the sympathy card when he was the one feeling it. When she expressed the same feelings he brushed it off and said she was overreacting. He tried to get her to hide behind it because he couldn't do anything to change it. Now, he was being faced with those same fears but on his own level and it was crushing. "It makes me crazy," he squeezed his eyes shut again, lashes mingling with the sweat and tears and just letting her human emotions eat at him. The Sin said to man up and the crazy kid inside was just trying to figure out how to navigate.
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She smiled a little but it was sad, "I know. Welcome to my life ever since I fell in love with you." she said in a whisper and kissed him again. She nestled into him, in a way glad he was going through this suffering because now he knew what it felt like when she went through it.
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"So, would you ever marry someone else?" As much as he hated the idea of marriage, he had done it before and it was binding in a very absolute way. To see her with someone else and the promise of being bound to anyone but him was choking him from the inside out. He clamped onto a piece of her hair, twirling it around his finger until he let it go and twirled it around again. He couldn't change anything about Lust for her, or make it go away. And in a sense right now he wished he could.
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She wriggled around a little, "I dunno... marriage is a long way off, if even in my future. Besides, it'd be kinda hard to marry someone and explain to them that they could never kiss me or touch me cause I'm your girlfriend. I mean, the only way it'd really work is if--" she abruptly stopped talking and coughed. She wasn't going to finish that sentence but there was only one thing she could have said and it would be married to him. But he had Lust. He always had Lust.
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He seemed genuinely disturbed when she started to talk about the idea as if it had crossed her mind. He opened his mouth to protest but she wheeled that conversation into the subject they both didn't like because it made a mess of things. "She's not here right now...." and for months, months he had cleverly diverted Lust. Since New Years Greed had been completely and entirely Zoe's.
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"She's always here..." Zoe whispered. Lust was like a storm on the horizon that you knew was coming just didn't know when. "With Derek, when you get those crazy thoughts and images of me and him. I can tell you that it will never happen. I am devoted to you. He is my past, you are my present and future. But with her? You can't tell me that. I am your present. She is your future." her arms getting a bit tighter around him.
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"What am I supposed to do?" He knew neither of them had an answer for it, it was just fact. It was where they were at. He swallowed a little heavy when his words clogged in his throat for what felt like a second time that night. "If everything is stacked against you, you still want me?" he felt really out of touch with her needing him after that dream, and after the way things had been going since Derek showed up at her doorstep. He was unstable. He was letting her into the mess that was his head.
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"Understand how much it kills me to know you won't be mine." it broke her heart that one day he'd come home and it wouldn't be her prints and scent on him. He would have been inside someone else. It made her sick. But she squeezed him and looked in his eyes, "Yes. I want you. With everything stacked against me. I want you. I will fight for you. To be with you." despite all their problems, she couldn't be without him.
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He looked right into her. He knew now. He felt it in his core and the hell side hated feeling so much sometimes. As much as he wanted her, the heartbreak set him into vertigo, falling about as far as he could into the unknown.
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She kept staring at him, "I'm yours." didn't he get that? Not her stupid ex's. but she meant it. His nightmares were just that, a work of fiction.
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"Don't ever stop..or I really will lock you in a basement." It was a creepy statement, kind of threatening, but necessary for him.
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She just gave him a smile and a sigh, "You creep." but she kissed him because she loved him, even if he was a weirdo. When the kiss broke she rested her brow against his, "In the future, when you get frustrated with me for how I feel, remember this night, okay? You had the pain of a nightmare, it's the same thing except mine becomes real." she didn't like how he always tried to gloss over it. She wasn't going to let him, not now that he knew what it was like.
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He nuzzled her nose, hands playing with the hem of her shirt. It was always hard to face the serious bits of their relationship, but it was the only way he was going to keep it. He leaned in for a kiss, but only barely got a taste of her bottom lip.
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She could tell he was listening and not wanting to. She didn't pull away but she didn't help him with the kiss, "Chance.... promise me you'll remember how I feel..." her words brushing against his lips since he was so close. This was important to her. And she wanted to see if he'd treat this as something important, if she could trust him with this.
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It was a tough call, he had to still the noise in his head long enough to really listen to what she was asking of him. He kept his gaze down as he contemplated all that frustration and hurt into one ball of energy and noted that it was hard to digest. She couldn't see his baby blues, just those heavy lashes as he nodded. "I'll remember..." he said in a near whisper.
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She kissed his head and he'd feel her relax some in his arms as she squeezed him. "Let me go for a minute..." she whispered and wriggled against him.
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His eyes flew open at that. After this big talk and she wanted to get up? "Why?" he sounded so pained. Did he really have to?
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She kissed him in reply for a few long seconds and when it broke, she said, "I want to get something. If it makes you feel better, you wanna come with me? I'm going all the way to the living room." there was a door there, she didn't know if he thought Derek would be waiting on the other side of the door and she was going to run away with him.
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He was already peeled off the bed before she could offer him to accompany. He didn't trust his own living room with her. He was on his feet and ready without her having to say another word.
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She stood up on the bed and padded over on the mattress to drop a kiss on his temple because he was a loon and she hopped down and took his hand to make the 10 second trip into the living room where she'd left her bag. She went over to it and rooted around inside, the bag contained very important things like her wallet and keys and one other item that was inside her girly zipped up wallet.
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He watched her intently the entire time she dug around in that Mary Poppin's bag. Greed had a man purse, shit always fell down into the bottom. Always what you were looking for. "What're lookin' for?" He flopped onto the couch trying to peep inside. Once she had her wallet out he had pulled out her keys and started to fiddle with them.
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She plucked her keys from him and dropped them back in her bag. She sat down and put the wallet in her lap after she opened it and took something out from one of the compartment's, "This." she opened her hand and in it was the small gold screwdriver that belonged to the bracelet he had given her. It had been four months since he'd given it to her, but over six since the nightmare at the con.
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His lips puckered into a giant pout when she took his toy from him. Now what was he going to play with? When she nestled in right beside him with her palm open his eyes zoomed in on the little rose gold screwdriver to cuff like bracelet. It was already a pretty dominating piece of jewelry, something she could never take off---except with this which was now his. He looked at her a little dumbfounded. He hadn't even realized what she was saying just yet, though he was the one that explained it's relevance in the first place.
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When he kept staring, she moved her hand closer to him and nodded as if to tell him to go on, take the tool. She didn't say anything, it was a big moment for her too. She was literally giving him her trust and this was a big commitment to make to him.
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He picked it up almost dropping it in his lap as it was small for his big fingers. It was like her wasn't it? Delicate, could take a beating but was just a small figure in his big hands. Something he needed to take care of. He looked back and forth to her as he finally got the message, the same message he'd given her when he put the bracelet on her wrist. "It's only been four months...." he remembered how long it had been, but he also thought he was nowhere near being where he needed to be for this.
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"Six. Since the... whole thing." she wrapped her arms around his arm and pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder as she looked at the little screwdriver. She wasn't sure if she was entirely ready for this either but she wanted him to know that she was committed to him. And this was a hell of a lot easier than being locked up in the basement.
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He rolled it between his fingers, taking in a deep breath and exhaling it just as heavily. "This is a lot..." he let it roll in his hand, clasping a fist around it as he peeked over his shoulder at her. "I don't know if I'm ready for that..." since the whole ordeal he had a lot more to build up.
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She looked at him in surprise and awe, unwrapping one arm to touch his cheek, "I love that you said that.." because he probably wasn't ready. "I love that you can recognize it and know that you've come a long way but you aren't done." she kissed him, really moved by that. Before the con, Greed had acted like he had learned everything there was to know about relationships and he had mastered it but now he was learning that there was still so much he didn't know. She kept close to him, her fingers splayed out on his scruffy cheek, "I don't think... either of us are ready for it. But I also think... you might need it." and she was being honest there.
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Greed pulled her into his lap, he needed that closeness. "I messed up pretty bad, four months isn't long enough..." but he could recognize as much as she that he needed it.
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She gave him a big smile when she landed in his lap. She put her hands on his cheeks, "Is this really my boyfriend?" she asked because she couldn't believe he was taking responsibility. It made her feel valued and loved that he understood how much he'd damaged her and it'd scared him.
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He placed her legs on either side of his waist, one hand still clenching the screwdriver. "Now it is." He was growing up. This was a feat he'd never been given the chance to challenge. "Don't like him?"
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"I love him." she said with such pride and amazement on her face. Her hands slid down and around his neck as she gave him a kiss. She'd been wanting him to take responsibility for his actions for the longest time but he always hated it. And here he was, telling her he didn't deserve to have her trust fully yet, recognizing not only what he needed but her as well and it made her trust and love him even more.
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"It's kind of big deal isn't it?" He hugged her to his body, relishing in that kiss but acknowledging this was something important and he didn't have sex as his cover up. It was just them.
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She leaned into him and nodded, "Yes. Huge." she kissed him again to show him how happy it made her. Which was weird, anybody else would have been sad to know he wasn't ready but to Zoe, for him to recognize it.. it meant the world. She looked down towards his fist, "So maybe you're not ready for that yet.. but I think you took one giant leap forward towards it but saying you're not."
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"That's a good thing?" His one empty hand slid up her back underneath the shirt. Pride was not unknown to the Sins, obviously they all held an ounce of pride in them, perhaps was why his sister was the root of them all. But to see it on someone else's face for something he did that wasn't some con that he'd used to persuade them was kind of a shock. This wasn't a boy anymore in this relationship. This was the man.
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She nodded, "It is. It means you want to learn, you value me as more than an object you own. You know what you did and you're scared and you don't want to repeat it. You're growing up." she smiled and kissed him again, "Recognizing our limitations and our short comings isn't weakness, Chance. It's strength. You're not a little kid pouting and running from what you did trying to lay blame on me and everything else. You're a man who is taking responsibility for what he did. No blaming anything else." she kissed him a little longer this time.
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His fingers pressed into her back, grabbing onto flesh with little imprints left from his needy grip. He tilted his head to look at her, big wide blue eyes studying that expression on her face. There was a little sound that squeaked out before he actually could think of the right thing to say. "You're not a toaster anymore. You're much more valuable to me and not just because of what I get." She uncovered him and that was a priceless thing for Greed to hang onto.
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When he pressed into her skin, she came even closer to him even tho there was no real room left between them. A smile blossomed on her lips, "Really?" she almost couldn't believe it. She knew he loved her but he also loved his cars and his ties, he loved things he owned, this was something more.
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"You've uncovered me, someone who I didn't know was there." He slipped his hand up a little further. "That makes you extremely valuable..." At one time she had just been an object, now she was a person and not just any person, his girlfriend that had brought out a moth from its cocoon.
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"Do you like this uncovered you?" she knew sometimes he didn't. Sometimes she could see how hard it was for him to have to 'deal' with feelings. As a Sin you could stomp over everything and everyone, you only had to consider your own feelings and most of the time they were awesome feelings, she'd introduced him to a whole new world that had quite a bit of bad as well as good.
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"Not always." That was the truth, Greed wasn't sure how to take it in. Sometimes he hated it, sometimes it made him really mad. Other times it was like an exploration that only he was invited to. "But sometimes it's okay." There was a lot to figure out there with all those things floating around in an already madman's head.
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She was glad for the truth and nodded, "I can live with that... you okay with that?" she didn't want him to start resenting it and then resent her. He'd told her before how much he disliked the bad part of his human nature she uncovered.
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"I'll let you know if it changes..." she'd said she wanted in on his head, he was letting her walk in. "For right now I'm okay with it." There was a lot he was understanding about himself as well, which maybe Lust would see as weak. Right now he saw that this is what he was to keep the things most precious to him.
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She kissed his cheek, "Good, I always want you to be honest with me." it was scary to know he might change his mind but she was glad to know the truth, to be let in. She snuggled into him and looked down at his closed hand with the tool. "We're not ready for you to have this... but maybe, just until the deal with Derek's company is closed, you can hang on to it?" she looked at him, "That way whenever you start to get scared or angry about him, you can hold this and know I'm yours. That you literally are the only one with the key... screwdriver.. to me. Because I choose you."
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He had to laugh there. "Sounds so dirty....me with your screwdriver. I've got another one." He raised one of his brows before mangling her mouth with a kiss. Doubt was a horrible thing and it preyed on anyone's mind, it was why it was one of Envy's gifts and Greed was not going to give in to the dark side just yet.
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She laughed in his kiss and smacked him lightly, "I'm trying to be romantic you pervy dork!" and she gave him a couple of loud smooches and looked at him and then cocked her head at the mini screwdriver, "Do you think it'll help?" she wouldn't let him keep it temporairly even if he didnt think it would but he had said before that he wished he could keep her in his desk at work, but he couldn't. He didn't even have a picture of her. This was the next best thing.
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He moved his closed hand from her as she eyed it. "Don't think you're getting it back now after giving it to me. Ready for it or not its mine." It was his to keep close when he couldn't have her.
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Her mouth dropped open and she laughed, "That's what I get for trying to be nice." she smacked him a couple of times on the chest and nuzzled his nose with hers, "I'm loaning it to you. And only if you think it'll help." which he hadn't said yet if he thought it would or not.
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"You said it's mine, that's what I heard." He smiled giving her an Eskimo kisses. "I think it will be more helpful than you think."