InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "yeah, he's a total dork"

Jameson William Kemp (flare_star) wrote in nevermore_logs,
@ 2013-12-09 06:35:00

Entry tags:

jameson kemp, madeline kemp, thomas kemp

Who: Thomas & Jamie (small appearance from Maddy)
What: Visits
When: ~~...What the fuck is today...Monday?~~ Monday afternoon
Where: Hospital
Warnings: Discussion of bad things, language, TBD

Jamie had spent most of his time in the hospital either sleeping or eating. He didn't have many physical injuries, the worst was a mild concussion. It was the starvation and sleep deprivation that had taken its toll on him, and the doctors wanted him on a more even keel before they released him.

His revolving door of visitors helped to keep his mind off of things, and they kept him from going spare, since he couldn't leave. It was during one of Maddy's visits that he heard about his dad's seizure, and every other thought flew out of his head as he demanded to know if his dad was alright.

"He's fine, kiddo," Maddy hastened to reassure him. "I talked to him, and Mom made him go home and sleep. Either he did that, or she'd keep him out of the hospital until you were discharged. He slept nearly a day."

Jamie sank back onto his pillows. "Good," he breathed. "He needs to take care of himself, too."

"Preaching to the choir here, little dude."

Jamie sighed. "Can I see him?" he asked quietly.

Maddy peered at him. "You know he'd be here so fast he'd set the floor on fire. But are you ready for that?"

"I can't hide in here forever," he answered. "You know how I'm feeling more than anyone."

Maddy sighed. "And how much do I wish that wasn't the case?" she asked quietly.

Jamie squeezed her hand. "You're telling me," he said. "Still. I think it's time."

She stood up, stretching her arms. "Then I'll go and get him," she said, bending down to kiss his forehead. Then she left the room and went back to the waiting room. "Tommy? He's asking for you."

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asterismos
2013-12-09 01:13 pm UTC (link)

Thomas had been in the middle of eating a sandwich while Lena told him all about her night at work when Maddy informed him Jamie wanted to see him. Thomas thrust the sandwich into a slightly bemused Lena's hands before jumping up and darting right past Maddy towards Jamie's room. It was only when he neared the door that Thomas slowed down. He didn't necessarily think that Jamie needed to see Thomas charging straight towards him if he was still a little bit wary of seeing him.

Instead he came to a stop and knocked on Jamie's door before poking his head inside. "Hey, Kiddo. Is it okay if I come in? It's alright if you changed your mind."

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	flare_star 2013-12-09 01:23 pm UTC (link)
	Jamie looked up, smiling slightly at his father. "It's fine, Dad, you can come in," he said. "How are you feeling?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

asterismos
2013-12-09 01:27 pm UTC (link)

Thomas entered slowly, feeling slightly shaky. He hadn't seen his son in a week and he hadn't gone that long without seeing him essentially ever. He tried to keep his smile gentle and he sat in a chair that he ensured wasn't too close to Jamie's bed in case he might be too scared.

"I'm fine," he said, waving his hands around. "Absolutely fine. How are you? Are you okay? Do you need anything? I can get you something if you need something. Are you cold?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flare_star 2013-12-09 01:38 pm UTC (link)
	Jamie shook his head. "I'm fine," he said. "They check on me every couple hours, I was about ready to tell them to leave me alone so I could sleep. Or at least think." He shrugged. "It's protocol, I guess." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2013-12-09 01:43 pm UTC (link)
	"I remember that," Thomas said softly. "It was quite frustrating at times, but good if you needed something. I'm very close to rambling... I missed you. Are you really okay?" He just wanted to bundle Jamie into a hug, but he made himself wait. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flare_star 2013-12-09 01:52 pm UTC (link)
	"I missed you too," Jamie told him. "And yeah, physically I'm more or less OK. Mentally..." He trailed off, tapping one of his temples. "They got inside my head, moved all the furniture around. It sucked." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2013-12-09 01:54 pm UTC (link)
	Thomas chewed on his lips, willing himself not to react to that because this was Jamie's time. When he felt he could speak he said, "do- do you want to talk to me about it?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flare_star 2013-12-09 02:06 pm UTC (link)
	Jamie closed his eyes briefly. He opened them again and sighed. "It was...it was fucking awful," he said quietly. "They barely touched me, apparently one of them could read minds and change their face. Turned into you and Lena both, and I just...I shut down after a while. I had to." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2013-12-09 02:07 pm UTC (link)
	"Of course," Thomas was quick to reassure his son. He would have shut down too. "I'm so sorry they used my face and Lena's. Did they say things to you? A-about me?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

flare_star
2013-12-09 02:16 pm UTC (link)

Jamie huffed out a small, humorless laugh. "It'd be easier to tell you what they didn't say," he sighed. "They basically brought up everything you ever did for me when I was a kid, and tried to...twist it into something, like it was an obligation or something. Or that you could've just taken off when you were thinking about it, and you would have been better off for it."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2013-12-09 02:18 pm UTC (link)
	Oh fuck that horrible demon. Thomas' face twisted with anger and then he shook his head. "No, Jamie. I would never be better off without you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flare_star 2013-12-09 03:08 pm UTC (link)
	"I knew that, deep down, but they were just...relentless. A tag-team of life ruiners." Jamie swallowed. "A tag-team who really loved what they did." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2013-12-09 03:12 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm so sorry," he said sadly. "Do you want to tell me what they said?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flare_star 2013-12-09 03:30 pm UTC (link)
	"Basically, it boiled down to the fact that I was the source of all the problems in your life," Jamie sighed. "And that Lena would leave like everyone else in my life had left me before. Also that I was pretty much a worthless waste of oxygen. That was my favorite part." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2013-12-09 03:34 pm UTC (link)
	"Jamie," Thomas said sadly. "Lena isn't going anywhere. She loves you. And you are not a waste of anything. You save my life every day. Really." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

flare_star
2013-12-16 08:27 am UTC (link)

"I know that, I do," Jamie replied. "But in the moment, all I could think was, 'What if they're right, she did leave before'. I mean, back when she thought that demon was you. When I was a kid, the only person who never left was you, and I just...got used to not having anyone else. I thought that's how it might always be."

He blinked a few times. "I think I got completely off point. This has been a glimpse into my fucked up psyche."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2013-12-16 08:33 am UTC (link)
	"You can talk about whatever you want," Thomas reassured his son. "And you're right, she did leave. I don't think she's felt as guilty as she did about that. I hate that this thing keeps fucking with us." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flare_star 2013-12-16 09:14 am UTC (link)
	"I mean, the most important part is that she came back, but I sort of mentally threw up my hands while she was gone." Jamie sighed. "I hate it too. You two and Maddy and now me, who's next? Grandma? Aunt Char? I wish there was some sort of way to...I don't know, banish it, or something, but that sounds very Hollywood." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2013-12-16 09:18 am UTC (link)
	The idea of any more of his family being savaged by this demon made Thomas shudder. "I wish we could. I know our home is safe, but I don't know what to do about the rest of the world." He chewed his lip for a moment to build up enough bravery to ask, "Jamie, I- The doctor told me you hadn't had any food or water. I- Are you- Are you okay?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

flare_star
2013-12-16 09:35 am UTC (link)

"I vote for holding the rest of the world at arm's length," Jamie said, pseudo-flippantly. "Or constantly carrying around...fucking holy water, or something."

Jamie looked over at him, his fingers idly tapping on the railing of the bed. "They gave me just enough to keep me alive," he said at last. "Because it's no fun torturing a corpse, am I right? And after a while, I just...I had to stop concentrating on it, or I felt like I'd pass out. I...I completely shut down and settled on numb. It sucked. A lot."

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	asterismos 2013-12-18 02:06 am UTC (link)
	"Holy water doesn't sound like a terrible idea, though I don't know if it would work," Thomas mused. When Jamie spoke about what had happened to him, Thomas' expression crumbled. "Oh, Jamie." He lowered his head down to the mattress, sounding defeated. "I worked so hard to keep you from that. I'm sorry." It felt like a failure on his part, even though it wasn't. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flare_star 2014-01-03 04:38 pm UTC (link)
	"Dad, don't," Jamie said. "It's not your fault. I'm pretty sure these things exist solely to cause pain and misery. And when they can tap into your memories and your worst fears? It just makes it all the better for them." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

asterismos
2014-01-03 05:03 pm UTC (link)

Even though Jamie told him not to, Thomas could feel himself welling up. "I just- I never wanted you to go through that. I didn't want that to be your lot in life." He could have worked less hours and just let his son go without a meal here or there, but he hadn't wanted Jamie to ever know what it was like to be in that situation. It made him so angry someone had put him there anyway.

"What- What fears did they prey on?" Or had it just been Thomas' face saying terrible things?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

flare_star
2014-01-03 05:41 pm UTC (link)

"Don't cry, if you cry, I'm gonna cry," Jamie told him. "And won't that just be a sight." He passed his dad a tissue from the box next to the bed.

"Dad, you did the best job raising me that you could," he said gently. "And I turned out more or less OK." He smiled.

He debated for a moment about telling his dad about Beelzebub's threat to make Jamie relive one of Thomas' worst moments. But he couldn't make himself open his mouth, so he swallowed the words instead.

"The usual suspects," he said at last. "That I'd die in that warehouse and you'd never find me. That you pretty much resented me my entire life. That Serenity had the right idea in leaving the first time. And on. And on. And on."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2014-01-03 05:49 pm UTC (link)
	Thomas took the tissue and he dabbed at his eyes half-heartedly. "I think you turned out spectacular," he said because he tended to at every opportunity. "I never would have stopped looking. We had everyone out trying to find you. They really tried to tell you I resented you? I don't even- How?!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flare_star 2014-01-09 06:05 am UTC (link)
	"Well thanks," Jamie said, smiling slightly. "Because of the life you could have had if you weren't raising a kid as a teenager," Jamie explained. "And I know you would have, you even had a Saint out looking for me. He apparently has a power on par with the X-Men, but he seemed nice enough." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

asterismos
2014-01-10 11:48 am UTC (link)

"Oh-" Thomas said, feeling terrible that such a thing had been used against Jamie. "I guess I know what they were trying to get at, but it's bullshit. The life I could have had without you? I would probably be dead of an overdose or in prison by now." He didn't think his relationship wit Serenity would have lasted necessarily and once they were done he would have gone right back to drugs. Probably much more seriously than before he had nearly ODed as well.

"It was hard sometimes, sure. But I was a terrible person. You made me who I am now and I- I like this me most of the time. Those demons just can't fathom something like that."

Thomas smiled at Jamie, though the expression was a little wavery. "Anthony is kind of like an X-men. I'd have had them all out there."

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