Zoe shook her head and looked at him, her eyes wet again, "Because it's not! I don't want to share you. I don't want to wait for you. You want me and Lust and that naked christmas gift and whoever else. You want me now but God knows when your mood will change and you'll want someone else. Who knows what other girl will sparkle and you'll want to add her to your collection and you can't tell me it won't happen because you don't know yourself. You want. I get it. It's what you do. But I can't handle it." a tear spilled down her cheek and she wiped it away with the back of her hand, "I don't want my feelings to be treated like something to put on your keychain. How cute. Just once, just once I want to be first in someone's life. And you can't do that. And I get it. I do. I just need some time." she sniffled and shook her head, "Can we please stop talking about this.."
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"There is no me without Lust. That's family Zoe, I can't just give that up." Greed couldn't give anything up, even if he wanted to.He wrung her again, dragging her up so she was wrapped in his arms. He was tired of these tears. Hers and his. It was positively draining. "For the last time I did not fuck that Christmas present."
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Zoe let him wrap his arms around her and curled into him. She closed her eyes and shook her head, "I know.. I know." but it didn't make her feel any better. The pain was still there, and nothing changed. "I'm not asking you to, I would never ask you to." if there was one thing Zoe understood it was family, the lack of it, the desire to hold on to it. But Lust really sounded like she provided everything for Greed. There was no way he'd have a need for Zoe. She was a want. And desire faded. "You should have." she said quietly against him.
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"I hate your tears." He didn't say it in a nasty way, he just had no idea how deal with them. He rubbed a hand gingerly up and down her back to try and soothe them. She seemed to curl into him even of the conversation was making her uncomfortable. "She doesn't give me everything." He said onto her hair where he'd buried his face.
"I couldn't. Not with you there. I wouldn't have enjoyed it."
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Zoe didn't look at him, just stayed curled up in his arms, "She gives you enough." She shook her head, not wanting him to say anything to that. She didn't want to hear it. Because there was nothing he could say to make it better. Enough was something Zoe couldn't give him, it wasn't possible. The conversation wasn't making her uncomfortable, it was making her miserable. They were going to be friends. Right now, it just made things worse. She put an arm around him and gave a short watery laugh, "Next time I won't be there so you can enjoy away." She wiped at her eyes again, "Chance, I'm fine.. I swear. I just need a little time. But I'm serious, I don't think we should spend New Years Eve together. It'd be a shitty way to bring in the new year." she needed a fresh start, one without him. They both did.
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"This feeling shit is draining me. I'm so fucking tired." He kept his grip, holding her as tight as he could without crushing her. If he could take it away he would. This pain was the equivalent of a dull knife cutting into his insides.
Was this what the bartender meant about putting someone else first? His fingers fisted into her hair. "I want you to be enough." It seemed natural to fall into these intimate embraces, his cheek nestled against hers. His eyes shut tight at his next words because they were not easy to say. "If that's what you want...." If he dealt her the same card would she change her mind?