InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "..What are you doing, Dave?"

Natalie Godfrey (bornincrossfire) wrote in nevermore_logs,
@ 2012-09-06 13:59:00

Entry tags:

natalie godfrey, the red baron

WHO: Natalie & The Red Baron
WHEN: Friday morning
WHERE: Con's apartment
WHAT: You had a heart-attack!?

When Natalie got back from Italy her plan had been to shower and then to sleep, but the message left on her answering machine had changed those plans very suddenly. Conrad/Manfred was in hospital after having a heart attack. She wanted to argue against that - he was too young! But he wasn't all that young and he was under a lot of stress.

She called Emma back immediately to try and get more details and apologize for not being there. She even found out what hospital he'd been out, but it seemed he was no released.

Outside his building she parked her bike on the sidewalk and then pressed the buzzer on the door, waiting for him to respond. It wasn't right to use her key to go up to his door, not now, not anymore. Although Natalie knew he wouldn't want to see her, she had to see him, just to know that he really was okay.

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the_red_knight
2012-09-06 02:34 am UTC (link)

Ever since he'd been released from the hospital, Manfred no longer looked like the young man he'd spent months getting to know. The stress had finally backfired throwing his body into a fit that he was certain he wouldn't recover from. If Emma hadn't been there the paramedics were certain he wouldn't have survived.

He was given the usual list for heart attack patients. No stressful situations, taking it easy and a healthier diet. While he was too fit to look like food was an issue, the doctor still asked him to cut out all salt, sugar and fried foods. He should have had the appetite of a horse, but instead he just laid in bed most days.

A lot of things had occurred in the time spent as Manfred. Now, feeling a little back to his old self he'd realized his mistakes. There was no going back on some of them, the damage had been done. So, when he heard the buzz from outside he expected Emma. He didn't deserve to see Natalie again, not the way he'd treated her.

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	bornincrossfire 2012-09-06 02:38 am UTC (link)
	When she heard the click on the other end of the intercom Natalie started speaking right away, not wanting him to get rid of her. "Manfred, it's Natalie. Emma told me what happened and I know that you probably don't want to see me, but I had to know that you were okay." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_red_knight
2012-09-06 02:49 am UTC (link)

He let her speak. It was good to hear her voice again. "Come on up, I'll leave the door unlocked," he told her going to change into a clean shirt. He'd at least shaved that afternoon. Without the boyish face, the hair on his face had started to grow dominant. He was certain he'd never see his face as Conrad again, but it had been there for days.

Moritz greeted Natalie happily, his usual ritual when she came in, whimpering softly and holding his head down for her to scratch behind his ears. Conrad came around the corner from the bathroom, his face lighting up the moment his eyes settled on Natalie.

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	bornincrossfire 2012-09-06 02:54 am UTC (link)
	Natalie patted Moritz absentmindedly when she came in, not really all the focused on the dog and nervous to be back in this apartment after the last time. She certainly didn't expect it was be Conrad's old face she saw instead of the young Manfred she'd gotten used to. "You changed back," Natalie said in surprise as she saw him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_red_knight
2012-09-06 03:06 am UTC (link)

He wiped a hand across his manlier jaw. "I didn't think I'd see this face again." Even his voice had changed. His mannerisms, the way he walked. The apartment even was back to being orderly.

Moritz skid over to his master awaiting the same scrub behind the ears before laying down by the couch. Conrad approached Natalie carefully. He was unsure how long she intended to stay. "I'm glad you're here," he said softly. "I need to apologize."

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	bornincrossfire 2012-09-06 03:07 am UTC (link)
	Natalie shook her head quickly. "You don't," she assured him. "Everything you said- you were right, I know." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_red_knight
2012-09-06 03:30 am UTC (link)

"No, I wasn't Natalie." He wasn't how close she wanted him to be. He'd scared her that night, he knew it though he'd never have hurt her. Not in the way she was used to. "You've never looked at me like that before," he said in a whisper, "it wasn't fair of me to judge you so harshly. I'm sorry." He reached out to take hold of her hand, bringing it to his lips. He kissed the top sweetly. "I made a mistake, but I don't expect you to..." he dropped her hand feeling his heart race a little. "You don't have to forgive me."

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bornincrossfire
2012-09-06 03:36 am UTC (link)

Natalie watched him sadly and she wanted to argue. There were things that he'd said that night she did believe were true. But to bring it up now seemed stupid.

Instead she moved forward and wrapped her tightly arms around Conrad, cheeking against his shoulder. "I missed you," she breathed. Not just these last three weeks either. She'd missed Conrad for so much longer than that.

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	the_red_knight 2012-09-07 06:14 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm sorry," he wanted to keep saying it though it could hardly make up for his temper. His own arms circled her, feeling his heart break against that hug. "You don't have to forgive me, I don't deserve it, but I would have never let you go like that." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornincrossfire 2012-09-08 03:39 pm UTC (link)
	"I forgive you," Natalie said, almost before he'd even finished speaking. She had buried her face against him, eyes squeezed shut. "Of course I forgive you. Please forgive me." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_red_knight
2012-09-10 02:04 pm UTC (link)

"You did nothing wrong Natalie, please understand that." He held her at a distance so he could look into her eyes. It hurt perhaps that she couldn't fight and stay despite his changes before, but he understood there was only so much a person could handle. "It's better for you this way. If that were to happen again, I wouldn't wish you to go through it." He grazed her face softly with the tips of his fingers, now not those of much younger man.

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	bornincrossfire 2012-09-10 02:43 pm UTC (link)
	"I really did try, Con," Natalie told him, and there was guilt evident in her tone as she shook her head a little. "I tried to understand and to be what you needed but... I just couldn't. And then Emma told me what had happened and I had to see you, even if you wouldn't let me in. I just had to know you were alright." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_red_knight 2012-09-10 02:49 pm UTC (link)
	"I know. This time I've lost you to myself." It was hard for him to admit that because before this things had started to fall back into place. His young self had trudged up thoughts that were really only minor. They were in the back of his mind, but he had really started to believe Natalie had changed. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bornincrossfire
2012-09-10 05:08 pm UTC (link)

Natalie wasn't sure where Con was now. He may have his old face back, but was it really him completely? Or was that other man still lurking, still there to frighten her. She'd hated that she had felt afraid of him - and she felt ashamed that she'd told Veronica about it.

"I don't want to lose you," Natalie finally whispered. "Please, Con. Things were going so great between us, weren't they?"

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the_red_knight
2012-09-11 04:15 am UTC (link)

They had grown in those months together. "I hate myself for ruining this." It was hard to breathe. He stepped back from Natalie. "I don't want to lose you either, but I can't promise you that will never happen again. If it does..." He sighed. This was heart breaking for a second time, but when he'd broken things off he hadn't felt the guilt. Now it hit him full force.

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	bornincrossfire 2012-09-12 02:56 am UTC (link)
	"If it does," Natalie told him, "then I'll try harder. But- I was sacred of you like that. I didn't want to be, but I couldn't help it." She ran her hand over his cheek gently. "Con," she said, "I love you. I want only to be with you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_red_knight 2012-09-19 03:05 am UTC (link)
	"I wouldn't hurt you," he said lifting her chin with his hand so she could read his eyes. "Ever. In any form." He hugged her again, keeping her tight in his arms afraid she'd disappear again. His hand cradled the back of her head. "You'd take me back?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornincrossfire 2012-09-19 03:12 am UTC (link)
	Natalie nodded, believing that, wanting to believe that. She knew it completely of Conrad, but Manfred was so much harder to read. Held so tightly in his arms, Natalie felt better than she had in months. "Without question," she whispered, refusing to let him go. "Yes." (Reply to this) (Parent)