Who: Lancelot and Guinevere What: The two lovers finally meet once again since the days of Camelot When: Saturday Where: Lancelot's apartment Note: Reposted as a favour
Lancelot was foolish to let Morgan's words sink in, but he was being very greedy. He wanted to see Guinevere, using Arthur's folly as a mean's to okay this situation. Guinevere had every right to do as she pleased now. They weren't married anymore (or were they?). If Arthur hadn't even made conversation of Guinevere, then he had truly forgotten her. It still wasn't right, he knew this was how things ended up before. Lancelot had been there for Guinevere and it had justified bedding another man's wife. His best friend's wife. In his heart he knew while Arthur cared, he could never truly be what Guinevere wanted.
He'd spent the rest of his life abiding other people's wishes. He'd left Guinevere alone and he'd tried to reconcile with Arthur. He was doing the same all over again. It seemed high time that he take what opportunity he was given and not look back. He knew he wouldn't think that later, but right now that was all he could think.
He paced his apartment floor twenty times waiting for Guinevere to show. He wondered if he was dreaming or this was really happening. He'd dreamed so many times of seeing her again. She'd started to become just a ghost in his imagination, but not now. Now years of regret, hope, love and sorrow was about to come rushing back in a split second. He splashed cold water over his face, smoothing his black hair back to temper that uneasy heart. He tracked down men and women of the law every day, this was not a situation to get skittish about. He'd mastered the way of holding in feelings.
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-16 08:20 pm (local) (link) Track This The moment Guinevere had said she would meet Lancelot she knew it was a mistake. It would always be that way. While she loved him deeply, she knew they would never truly have that freedom they wanted. The freedom they deserved. She had long since given up living in a convent. Although she had never married again, nor found any reason to love another man, she was no longer a nun.
It was a long time before she finally convinced herself to stand, walk to the door, leave, and take that taxi to Lancelot's apartment. It felt the time passed much too quickly. Even as she contemplated messaging him to say she would not be coming she was already there.
Before she knew it she stood before his door and with a deep, shivering breath she rang the doorbell. If they weren't careful this time, it would be the beginning of ruin.
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-16 08:38 pm (local) (link) Track This He opened the door in a flash, his heart jumping out his chest at first glance. She was as stunning as ever. "Guinevere," he said in a husky revelation, letting her inside. He was still the knight doing a duty.
When the door shut behind her there was a deafening silence. They hadn't seen each other in so long and all he could think was that he needed to be groveling at her feet.
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-16 09:09 pm (local) (link) Track This Although she was very happy to see him she couldn't help feeling shameful for being there. They had gone their separates ways and now, after do many years they were in the same room again. Alone. Very much alone.
She didn't exactly feel awkward but it was strange, being there with him when she had sworn to be a nun. She didn't even pretend to be interested in her surroundings. "You wanted to see me she said in a calm voice.
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-17 12:31 pm (local) (link) Track This Why should they feel ashamed now? It was a completely different time. Did Arthur really have any claim over her now, especially after he was sullying himself around with other women. Lancelot had made up his mind now that this wasn't wrong. It had never been wrong because Arthur couldn't give Guinevere what she needed. His thoughts were taken over by a very cunning witch, Morgan. She'd planted a seed and it was starting to grow.
Lancelot resisted the urge to grab hold of her right then, as he always did. He kept himself poised while these thoughts trickled into his head. He took her hand gently, kissing the top. "My lady," he spoke in a soft whisper, brushed against that hand. "It has been so long."
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-17 01:39 pm (local) (link) Track This Holding back temptation was probably for the best, for now. Guinevere couldn't help feeling comfortable around him. She couldn't help the way she felt about him. For years she had loved him, even when he wasn't around. If ever there were two souls meant for each other it was theirs.
Wherever this led, Guinevere knew her heart. But there were so many obstacles either way. Watching him quietly, there was a faint smile on her face. "Yes, it has." However, Guinevere was a woman who liked to get to business. "What did you need to speak with me about?"
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-17 02:00 pm (local) (link) Track This She was slightly chilly, her reserve as good as it had been when they first met. He didn't blame her for holding back, they'd made a name for it in those days. Perhaps he'd just hoped for a little more warmth.
He dropped her hand softly, running his finger across that little bit of stubble across his lip. In truth he'd really wanted nothing more than to see her.
"Do I need a reason to see you?" he asked offering her a seat on the sofa. "We've chit-chatted enough on the computer. I needed to see your face."
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-18 09:37 am (local) (link) Track This Guinevere seemed to soften at his question. She shook her head, "No, you need no excuse." She knew very well why she was there. Why they were meeting like this. All these years she had hid from others like her, taking extra precaution to stay away from those who were Arthurian. It seemed that in a flash it all changed. Perhaps it was for the better. She had no idea.
"You must understand. We gave our word we would never meet again. It was not an easy decision to see you."
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-18 10:27 am (local) (link) Track This "I know I promised. But centuries Guinevere? It's a different time now. You are no longer a nun, I no longer a knight. Do we really ignore each other now because of that ancient promise?" He brushed her hair back. He wasn't going to ask permission to touch her, but he would keep himself confined from anything more. "I will keep it if you wish it, but I've been silent for too long."
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-18 11:02 am (local) (link) Track This She frowned at it words. Every single one made a point. "I may no longer live in a convent but I still practice the vows I made years ago. You know very well I do not break a promise." She sighed and shook her head, "You say Arthur has a new Queen. Who is to say that once he realizes I am here, just as you are, that he will not decide I am still his? Regardless of everything that has happened, I would not put it past him."
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-18 11:12 am (local) (link) Track This "I know," he kissed her forehead, resting his cheek against the top of her head. "Just let me be here right now." He needed to savor the moment like he always did before it was taken away from him.
He was already breaking another promise. It was before he'd realized Arthur had sullied Guinevere's memory. "Don't think like that. Would he really do so out of spite?"
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-18 11:18 am (local) (link) Track This Maybe it was an easy decision for him, but for Guinevere it could mean life or death. Breaking promises was not something she did well and when she did she felt a great burden. She felt guilt for the promises she couldn't keep.
"This is Arthur we're talking about, Lancelot. Of course he would."
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-18 11:55 am (local) (link) Track This "I know, but," he stumbled on his words a moment, "I've seen him, met with him. All chance encounters." He put his hand on the back of her head, resting it there against his chest. He just needed to feel her heartbeat.
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-18 12:09 pm (local) (link) Track This Guinevere wasn't sure whether to be surprised or not. Of course Arthur and Lancelot would have met. By chance or not. "Are you his knight again?" Maybe the answer didn't matter now as much as it did once before, but Guinevere felt compelled to know.
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-18 12:14 pm (local) (link) Track This Lancelot thought back to their last conversation. Would that have really been considered knighthood? "We are no longer knights and kings anymore, Gwen. I asked for reconciliation with him."
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-18 02:04 pm (local) (link) Track This "You asked..." she started breathlessly. "So what, you two are the best of friends again?" This was not how she wanted this meeting to go, but if Lancelot had indeed reconciled with Arthur Guinevere could have nothing to do with Lancelot. That in itself broke her heart, but that was how it had to be.
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-18 02:21 pm (local) (link) Track This "Not hardly. But I need to make my amends. With him and with you." He wasn't sure he could call it friendship, just making right and saying his piece.
"Why, Gwen? Why are you so cold to me now?" He remembered what Arthur had asked him if he would let Guinevere come between them again. Lancelot had said no. That had been before he'd found out about Arthur's doings. It put a whole new perspective on things.
"I won't tell him of you if that is your worry. I gave you that oath. I won't break it."
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-18 02:25 pm (local) (link) Track This "That's it, then? There is no friendship between you and Arthur? You merely made amends and nothing more?" If Lancelot wanted Guinevere back in his life for good, he would have to give the right answer. He likely knew what that was, she was sure of it.
"I just need to know, that's all."
She shook her head, "I know, Lancelot. I know. You of all people would never betray me."
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-18 02:37 pm (local) (link) Track This "Guinevere," he said softly, his voice barely a whisper. Why was she making him chose. He had wrongs to right, but he still had a heart. "In time, if it is meant for Arthur and I to be friends would you ask me to cast it aside?" No matter how angry he was now. "I won't rule it out. In by making amends it means his friendship, but that is but a long shot." It depended on Arthur. If Arthur wished to hurt Guinevere again he wouldn't hesitate to rescue her. Arthur had once tried to burn her at the stake. Lancelot never let that happen.
"Don't put a wedge between us already. I'm not sure I could take it." And he couldn't, he was certain. She was everything to him.
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-18 02:44 pm (local) (link) Track This "No, Lancelot. I would not ask you to cast Arthur aside. If you have already chosen him there is nothing I can do to change that. I have no interest in harming either of you, in any way. I know what your friendship means to one another, and it was I who broke it once. I won't do that again. There cannot be another Camelot. I refuse to be the blame of another fall." Even as she spoke she could feel herself losing composure. The two men she had loved most in her life were the very men she had broken. She couldn't do that to them again.
"And you think I could? I won't make you choose because that isn't fair to you. Besides, you already made your choice."
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-18 02:50 pm (local) (link) Track This "You know despite everything I would follow my heart just the same. Arthur never would have you the same. He didn't deserve you," he let his greed come out just a little. "Don't say this is all I have of you now but a memory." She'd never love a man as she did him again, he knew that.
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-18 02:57 pm (local) (link) Track This "You know as well as I do that if Arthur ever found out he would feel betrayed. Despite there being nothing between he and I. He would take it as an act of treachery and he would do whatever he thought was best to keep us apart. Either we are in shadow as before, or we have nothing." She held up her hands and backed away toward the door. "I cannot come between you again."
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-18 03:36 pm (local) (link) Track This The shadows of the past cloaked around him, obstructing his view. Morgan's words rang against his ears like a gong. As he saw Giunevere back away he felt his world fall to his knees again.
"If he holds a new Queen there is no betrayal to give." He took hold of her hand drawing her back to him. She undoubtably would always be his weakness. It wasn't fair but he did exactly as Arthur asked him not to.
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-18 03:47 pm (local) (link) Track This "Lancelot, please," she whispered. "You've already given him your friendship. You have practically vowed to be his. And even if he has this new Queen, it doesn't mean he will allow us to be together." She wanted to pull away but she found she had no strength to do so.
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-18 03:57 pm (local) (link) Track This "You think that means I'm soley his? Things have changed. Gwen," he begged her. With his light grip and his eyes he begged her not to leave like this. They'd earned the right to be happy. Come hellfire and damnation he would always be there for her.
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-18 04:17 pm (local) (link) Track This "In Arthur's eyes? It absolutely means that." She kissed his hand. "Until we are absolutely certain, there can be no 'us'." It broke her heart to say it, but they had to be sure. They could not go running off into the night. They could not be together until they knew Arthur was entirely past her and truly with this new Queen of his.
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-18 04:42 pm (local) (link) Track This Just like that she slipped through his fingers. He'd fight for her, he always would but he had to respect her wishes. "If that's what you want," he said broken-hearted. "In time he'll have to know you're here. But I promise I won't say a word." He bowed then, getting on his knees and kissing her hand.
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-18 09:32 pm (local) (link) Track This It wasn't what she wanted. What she wanted was to stay there. Be with him and only him. But it wasn't possible right now. She nodded slowly, "I know. Let him find out himself. I will make sure he knows I wasn't searching for him. I think he'll understand why." She swallowed, wishing she was strong enough to forget about how Arthur might feel and do as she pleased. "I will see you again," she said quietly. Slowly she removed her hand from his and opened the door to leave.
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[info]holy_quest 2012-06-18 11:05 pm (local) (link) Track This It was a rip in the gut. Every time she left him it never got an easier, it just got that much harder. He'd bite his tongue, check his feelings at the door, and let her come to him when she needed him. It wasn't the most healthy of relationships, nor was keeping locked inside all the things that meant the most to him, but it was what he did.
"I love you," he whispered into her ear.
He kissed her on the cheek before she stepped out, hoping that when they met again it wasn't for so long.
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[info]camelots_ruin 2012-06-19 08:31 am (local) (link) Track This This was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do. Exactly what she had expected of this meeting she hadn't been sure, but inside she felt this wasn't the outcome she had wanted. She hated herself for what she had just done. Maybe she truly was a coward. Maybe all she really did was run away.
"I love you," she whispered in return, making it all the more difficult as she slipped out.