Jocasta, Ἰοκάστη (theoriginalmilf) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2011-12-11 01:03:00 |
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Entry tags: | jocasta, oedipus |
WHO: Jocasta & Oedipus
WHEN: Sunday mid-morning
WHERE: A cafe
WHAT: A meeting in which the two of them speak like rational adults and come to accept their circumstances. Ha!
WARNINGS: talk of incest, talk of attempted suicide
On the table in front of her lay a set of divorce papers but Jocasta hadn't yet signed them. Instead she stared at them, wishing that Antigone was there to make sense of everything for her. Not the papers themselves, but her whole life. Antigone had always been so clever. Jocasta knew that she would never be thought of as clever.
The coffee in front of her cooled slowly and the bagel remained untouched.
Her marriage had been going so well - right up until the point where she'd realised her young lover was her son and she'd tried to hang herself. (She woke in the night and felt the burn of rope around her throat more vibrantly than she'd felt it in centuries. That tightness used to consume her waking hours when she'd first been reborn as an immortal on these shores.)
Over the last months she'd proved an terrible trophy wife and her mortal husband was finished her her bouts of unexplained crying, her refusal to tell him what was wrong, her recoil when he tried to touch her. Jocasta wasn't the woman he'd married and so he didn't want her anymore. Jocasta could hardly blame him but it terrified her that she would be alone once she signed these papers. She wasn't good at being alone.
Oedipus had been quiet these last few months. He hadn't holed himself into the bricks of his shop building, but there was a far more mellow Oedipus these days. He still twitched over his mother dearest, and he hadn't always slept the night through when his mind hit disturbing fantasies of her naked. It was almost like he was looking from the outside in.
Knowing that he willingly cut Jocasta down from her death ropes this time should have tweaked him out. However, since he'd met her again, the more mature Oedipus surfaced---and all things conserving he'd never really blamed her for this. There would always be the part of him that cringed at the sight of an older woman, and he'd honestly be okay with never having sex again, but parts of himself were starting to turn up.
He knew she was there as soon as he came into the cafe, and for a moment he debated on ducking out before she saw him, but he listened to that Freudian side of his brain. She looked horrible, and sadly there was no getting over the fact that at one time he'd loved her. Fucking sick bastard.
He just stood there thinking of what to say, but in the end he just sat down at her table.
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2011-12-12 09:09 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Jocasta hadn't even felt his presence and so when someone sat across him her she looked up with a frown of confusion. But quickly her eyes widened and her brows lifted and she said, "Oedipus."
Panic filled her suddenly, as though their very being this close would bring down the doom of the gods upon them.
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2011-12-12 09:52 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He lifted a finger to his mouth, hoping no one heard that. Pride or not, the connotation with his name was enough to still keep it hidden. Arguing with a college student over his worth was not how he wanted to spend the afternoon.
He was more concerned for her.
Concerned. Concerned. Fucking feelings, they always got in the way. This is why they were here in the first place. Had he not brought this on them? His questions, his damn persistence.
He saw the papers in front of her, sliding them towards him. "He's leaving you?" he said quickly. As if it hurt her any less.
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2011-12-12 10:11 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Jocasta massaged one side of her temple with her fingers and made the smallest of nods in response to his question. Who could blame her husband for leaving? She was a vile thing, a lying whore - and he didn't even know the true extent of it.
"I don't know what I'm going to do," she whispered, staring stubbornly at the papers and not looking at him. Her eyes were starting to blur with tears though. "Antigone- she looks after me when I'm not married, but she's not here this time."
Perhaps a grown woman shouldn't admit how much she constantly leaned on her own daughter for help, but Jocasta was terrified of the concept of having to make her own decisions. She needed Antigone for that.
Any concept that Oedipus might suddenly be interested in the fact that Antigone was around hadn't even occurred to her.
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2011-12-18 12:32 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He didn't think about the action when he pit a hand over hers in a comforting manner. He rubbed it softly when her tears started to fall. It seemed like the natural thing for her to do in letting her husband go.
"I'm sorry," he finally said as if those simple words would make up for their past accounts. Then she spoke of Antigone and he felt his heart beat a little faster.
"She's here?" Antigone was the only one who stood behind him when he'd been shamed.
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2011-12-19 04:16 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Despite all that had happened, Jocasta squeezed his hand gratefully. She had no one at the moment.
She sniffed when he asked about their daughter and then shook her head. "No, not at the moment," she told him, taking her hand back and putting them both in her lap. "She's gone traveling. She uses the time when I'm married to get away from me. I exhaust her." At that idea - one which Jocasta knew was true - the queen of Thebes began crying properly, covering her face as she sobbed and not caring who in the cafe looked. Her husband didn't want her and nor did her child.
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2011-12-19 09:31 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He knew she was without, mother or not, lover or not, he cared enough to give her the hope he'd never been able to give her before. She'd taken her life then, but he'd honestly wished it on himself, not her. Freudian theories behind it wasn't fair.
Antigone was a trooper. Perhaps she held both their better traits, she'd been considerate and caring when no one else had been. Se'd held her name proudly. "Certainly she doesn't think that," he'd insisted. She was his little girl. His baby. His favorite if he were to admit it.
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2011-12-20 02:33 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"She does," Jocasta said, trying very hard to compose herself. People at the other tables were casting concerned glances across at them. Jocasta reached for a napkin on the table and dabbed beneath her eyes to stop her mascara from running any more. "She's so clever and independent, just like she always was. I can't ever keep up with her and as much as I knows she loves me... sometimes she looks at me and I see only pity and shame."
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2011-12-21 05:45 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"She doesn't." He paused, there was a heavy lump in his throat to admit this so public. "I don't." He swore he felt eyes turning and casting wayward glances their way, damning him for even saying something so forgiving.
The older gentleman to their left was even staring he was certain, but again all those hateful eyes were nothing more than the nervous Oedipus thinking the world saw that invisible sign over his head. It was never there, Freud had put it there with bright flashing lights, but it was never truly there in the first place.
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2011-12-21 06:38 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
She looked up at her son - she son! - and asked him helplessly, "what are we going to do?"
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2012-01-02 03:06 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
His eyes dropped as he shook his head. "I don't know." He felt that lump grow tighter, gripping his throat like a rope. Were those tears? Fuck it all, he was supposed to be running from the hills from her about now.
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2012-01-03 10:43 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"This is all so terrible," Jocasta whispered, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm supposed to do." She opened her eyes and dared to glance at him sadly. "And I miss you."
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2012-01-03 04:47 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
It wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to be sitting her without trembling from nerves. In fact he wasn't nervous at all. No jitters, no second guessing. He did want to shove his head into the wall though.
He sighed heavy, hand holding his chin, shaking his head again. "I know," he whispered back. Did he have to love her so strongly? If he'd never asked, never bothered to know, could they have been happy? That was almost a ridiculous question, but as always he had to ask it. It was like a train wreck at full speed. No stopping it.
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2012-01-03 06:13 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"You should go," Jocasta said to him with a shake of her head, strands of her dark hair sticking themselves against the tears of her cheeks. "Unless you shouldn't. I don't know anymore. I can't decide anything for myself, not ever. It always goes wrong when I do things."
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2012-01-04 06:40 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"How do you think I feel? I can't keep my damned head straight." He rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair, settling back against the seat. "I'm just a walking sideshow. It was never your fault, hell if I didn't try to blame you before. Now," he sighed, "I don't want to go."
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2012-01-04 07:04 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"I abandoned you," Jocasta said with a quick shake of her head. "I let Laius expose you. If I had stopped him... you would have been there. You would have been my son in Thebes. All of this is my fault."
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2012-01-04 07:12 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Laius was fool." So was he. The one time he'd met that old conker he'd killed him in his own arrogance. Served him right, he'd gotten exactly what he'd been foretold would happen. His son would kill him but not to steal his throne. It was happily given over by the people of Thebes. What Oedipus thought was a good gig ended up being a wreck. "I...I should have left well enough alone." Oedipus had always truly blamed himself, the thick-headed prick that didn't know when to shut up. This rolling desire for answers was just damned annoying.
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2012-01-04 07:14 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"I should have known," Jocasta told him, wishing she could hug him know. "What kind of mother doesn't know her own son?"
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2012-01-04 07:37 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"One that never saw him past birth?" He was trying here and he wasn't sure why. This was the kind of stuff to kick yourself for. Damn Freud. He was fucking up everything and fucking himself up all over again.
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2012-01-04 07:42 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Jocasta frowned at watched him carefully. "Should we be allowed around each other?"
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2012-01-10 06:43 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"You were my mother and my wife," now that did send a chill down his spine to say aloud. Surely, the rest of the world didn't break when he said it. "I'll do what you want." It was almost as if they brought the better out in each other in one form or another.
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2012-01-10 07:11 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Those words should not have belonged together. Wife and mother.
"I was never your mother," Jocasta told him with a sigh. "I never knew you as that despite it all. I have never felt like your mother. The child I had... he died on a hilltop somewhere. The man I married... he was a stranger."
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2012-01-10 07:15 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Somewhere he was sure a bomb was dropping right on that spot ready to explode at the insanity that was this situation. Centuries later and it was still a little unnerving.
He agreed with her though. Never had he known her as a mother, only as the hero that came in to save her darling town. "Which was the stranger? Me or Laius?" Laius wasn't his father. Only in name.
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2012-01-10 07:23 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"In a way, both of you were strangers," she told Oedipus as she thought on it. "Laius married me for politics and we never loved each other. I had to trick him into giving me a child and then when you were born he took you from me. But the stranger who came to save Thebes, he I grew to love even if our marriage was arranged."
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2012-01-10 07:29 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
She had been the sexy end of the deal when Thebes was a free terrain again. Palace, kingdom, queen all in one day, that was a pretty fine ride to get.
Oedipus really didn't know what to say at the time. It had taken some time to win her over, like it seemed to do any woman in an arranged marriage but they'd both been happy. By gods why couldn't he have left it alone?
"I should have left it alone." Blissfully happy in the arms of his own mother. Had he really needed to know that?
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2012-01-10 07:35 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"We should have both done a lot of things," Jocasta said sadly, dropping her gaze.
"I love you." She said it without looking back up at him.
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[info]a_freudian_slip
2012-01-10 08:13 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
She really was at a loss, without direction. He had always given her that before, just as she'd brought out the more passionate, kingly sort of man. He was not a fumbling wretch around her surprisingly enough.
"You need to get out of here." There were too many eyes. His own gave the same answer he just wasn't sure he was ready to sing that off rooftops again so loudly.
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[info]theoriginalmilf
2012-01-10 08:33 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Jocasta looked up at him and the expression was hurt. "Where do you want me to go?"