"I just—" Lyra said, then had to take another frustrated pause while she worked out how to finish that sentence and explain herself in a way that was like, honest without being too crazy. She wasn't sure she could hit that note, really, and she had to say something, Lyra could never let a silence stand. "I just really thought I'd see him again. That there was something coming and it was him or it was them— I didn't expect it'd ever be over just like that and now it is and like—" Like what? Like what, Lyra?? "Like, that's allowed to surprise me, y'know??" she finished, pulling off her boot and tossing it (not overly hard) into the abandoned shoe corner.