"I used to," Lyra admits, sending the heels of her hands out behind her and leaning back, looking up at the moon as the shadow slowly swallowed the light. "For ages, just thinkin' bout it... my mind kinda shied away, like the wrong end of a magnet, that's what it felt like. And whenever I thought bout the missing months—" It makes her pause, here, remembering the panic that used to floor her, the disbelief, the horror. There aren't words, so she squirms instead, the sensation of goosebumps on her arm turning to a way darker feeling, one the squirming is trying to shake off. "That still creeps me, but the rest of it... no, no, I don't want it locked. It wasn't all horror, y'know? And— lately I just can't stop thinking about it, so..." she shrugs, reluctant to admit the parts of it that were more fun than almost anything she's felt since, the bits that make her long for something like it to happen again.