WHO: Kaden and Athena WHEN: The day after his talk with Merlin (Thurs, Jan 20th) WHERE: In the Enodia's restaurant WHAT: Kaden trying to contemplate a future or two WARNINGS: TBD
It takes till the morning after Merlin's visit for Kaden to realise what he's done.
It's twofold, the mistake (is it a mistake?) and more evident in the cold light of day (yeah it's a mistake.)
The first problem is the one that nearly stopped him last night (should have stopped him last night.) Taking a job with Merlin is gonna mean leaving the protection of the hotel, and that does something to his insides that makes them nasty. Even if Merlin claims (rightly?!) to be the most powerful person in New York City, and even if Kaden can convince his head of this, his stomach ain't listening. His chest isn't neither. They are churning, roiling, tumbling. Can't do that and listen to reason.
Merlin said he wanted someone smart and Kaden doesn't feel very smart when he's like this. He feels like every thought has to fight through a fog. Before she leaves for work, Marcie asks him something and it's not till she's repeated it once and then twice that the words actually fight their way through the fog to his ears. Fog is not too gentle a word, either. Fog sounds soft but it's the fog of the streets back home. Like, the fog that Cy (or hunting dogs) could appear out of without warning. It's a dangerous fog and his mind has no time to focus on have you had breakfast yet? because it's too busy watching out for threats.
But despite the fog he wants to, just like he wants to see Qebhet again. Just like he wants to earn some money and help out. Just like he wants to... to go to real school again.
And augh, school. Marcie's brought it up, a couple of times, and both times he's shut the idea down cos he's got his online learning and it's fine. It's safe. And it doesn't matter if he skips a shower for a few days when all his lessons happen through a screen. But he misses... other kids. Right now the only people he talks to other than Marcie and immortals and a baby are his Enodia neighbours and they're pretty much all damaged people full of jagged edges, none of which line up with his.
But— thoughts of Marcie lead him to problem number two: he agreed to a job with Merlin without talking to Marcie first and last time he did that she freaked.
So like, oops.
Not that he's started his Qebhet job yet. He’s guessing she's waiting for him to reach out maybe.
He's guessing Merlin's not going to be so patient.
He's guessing Marcie's gonna flip again when he tells her (better make it soon.)
He's guessing his stupid mouth is sending him down a path he can't control and Kaden doesn’t know what to do next.
So here he is again, in the corner of the restaurant right up against the window, laptop on the table with his lunch so’s he can pretend like he’s doing schoolwork. He kinda is. He’s a million tabs open, things about Merlin and news sites as he scours the net for any info bout the War Dogs or what’s been happening in the Hole, info pages for about eight different real-life schools in the city, but a few things that’re genuinely for his current school, too.
He’s not paying attention to a single one of them, though; he’s watching the people pass by outside. It’s a safe spot, when the sun’s out, because the glare does something to the windows; anyone looking in is usually just checking out their own reflection. No one’s looking at him. That’s for the best, like it’s always for the best. No one’s looking at him and it’s better that way, but he can’t help staring out, and imagining some life where he didn’t haveta be invisible.