Iestyn sniffed, his breathing uneven. "It was either let you be tortured or- or take that, from someone I know won't hurt me. That-" He gulped and looked upwards, blinking rapidly to try and clear his eyes, to no avail. "I couldn't- couldn't bear to watch you suffer, so- so I guess that makes me selfish, not l-letting you stand up for yourself, and- and making you-" He let out a sob, his hands shaking, crushing the remainder of his sandwich between his fingers and feeding it to himself in tiny portions. "It's my f-fault, I'm so- so pathetic-"