Cathal Bhattacharya (seams_and_scars) wrote in nevermore_au, @ 2021-12-22 11:28:00 |
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And then Cathal put his tongue in a butthole. Right up in it, because of the Christmas spirit. Nothing says Christmas like a good ol holiday rimming. And what better way to prove he was in touch with his feminine side. He was a delicate flower and he could rim whoever he pleased, so long as it also pleased them. What a delight, and under the tinsel and the fairy lights? Even more of a delight. He wasn’t sure if they called them fairy lights in America but they sure would be fairy lights once two guys were rimming under them. Cathal chuckled in the McDonalds line at his own joke and an old lady looked at him with distaste. Maybe she was a mind reader or, oh no, he hadn’t made that comment out loud had he? He looked around and everyone in the line was staring at him, mostly in disgust, some just confusion. Yes, he’d had the whole conversation about Christmas butthole lickings out loud. “Oh Cathal,” he said, shaking his head, “what a boob you’ve made of yourself once again, and here in the lovely town of Big Bend.” When all the people heard his Irish accent they were confused because he was clearly Indian and that was a different accent, but they were also a little charmed, because they all liked an Irish accent. One woman asked shly if he’d like to put his tongue in her butthole later, but Cathal was already in the McDonalds like and he really would prefer a fillet-o-fish to butthole. (Almost always actually. He loved a fillet-o-fish and felt only so-so when it came to buttholes.) The woman was very sad because Cathal was very attractive and, as she now knew, Irish, and so she wanted a piece of that. Cathal was her very own fillet-o-fish, but for her there would have to be plenty more fillet in the sea. Cathal ordered him the largest meal, because he lived in America and you had to order the large meal of they would take away your visa and send you home. Cathal, obviously, didn’t want that, so he played along. He had to admit that sometimes he couldn’t finish the whole meal, as the large chips were the exact same size as a corgi, although they were less hairy when you were lucky. (When you weren’t, the hair was immeasurable.) This meant that sometimes Cathal had to throw some of his food away, and he always felt very guilty about it. One of his teachers at school when he was seven had said “Cathal, only nazis waste food,” and he had never forgotten that. It made him thrown away food less than he might have, but it made him feel like a nazi more often than he’d like. It was a delicate balance, but luckily Cathal had been briefly trained as an acrobat and he could walk any tight rope put in front of him. (Unless it was made of knives. But Cathal would like to see the person who could manage that feat!) The woman from earlier, the one who wanted her butthole licked, came over and sat down in front of him. She said, “I wanted you to know that you changed my life here today. You have eyes that are like shiny stones at the bottom of a stormy sea.” Cathal said “Yeah, i know, they’re pretty dope.” She repeated “dope,” in an awestruck whisper. Cathal said, “if you’ll excuse me, I really have to get started on these fries. She said, “they’re the size of a medium build corgi.” Cathal said, “they are, and my stomach is very small. Not even the size of a chihuahua.” She smiled at him flirtatiously and said, “I’m sure you have something the size of a chihuahua…” Cathal thought about it and said, “probably one of my work boots? Maybe?” She said, “I wasn’t talking about your work boots.” Cathal said, “oh. Well, I don’t think I have anything else. But it was nice to meet you.” The girl took the hint that was less a hint and more of a request, and she left. Cathal took a deep breath and looked at all his fries. If he built them into a fort for the homeless to live in, he wouldn’t feel so bad about not eating them. Fries were not very waterproof though, which was why they were so rarely used as a construction item. That and the pest problem. It was a terrible pain when you could see the sky because ants had eaten a hole in your roof. |