Zoe (history_repeats) wrote in nevermore_au, @ 2016-01-18 21:37:00 |
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Entry tags: | greed, zoe hansen |
WHO: Zoe & Greed
WHEN: Immortals & Strippers AU
WHERE: Bookstore
WHAT: Saying goodbye
WARNING: None
Note: The log reads backwards
He didn't stop for a while, just a big massive baby hugging her as if his life depended on it. Worse than teenage girl who had just lost her first love. She just didn't understand the severity of when he wanted something badly, it was almost a physical pain it was so intense.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe didn't care what others thought and she didn't let go of Greed, her own tears were silent and she closed her eyes and held on to him for however long he'd let her.She wanted to try with him, she wanted to build with him but it just wasn't possible and her heart broke for what might have been.
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 7:45 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed was as loud in his crying as he was with sex. It was almost obnoxious to outsiders. He didn't understand why this hurt so hard, but it was worse than anything and he couldn't stop the crying. He squeezed her tight. He might just loose his shit the moment she let him go.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe hugged him tight and tears coated her own lashes but he was just proving her point. She couldn't take care of him without falling apart herself. But she reminded him of when they were in the hotel by the beach after he'd almost drowned. Where they had sat on the bed together in bathrobes and he had wanted to speak to Evie, how he couldn't think of wanting anyone else but her.. and now he was saying hte same about Zoe two months later. In another two months, he'd move on to someone else. It was just how he felt now that was shitty.
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 7:40 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He broke when he felt her hug him. He sobbed like a child that had lost a parent or someone else extremely close. He couldn't be happy with that, and the more he thought about it the more he just couldn't control those ridiculous and very real tears. Maybe he'd used those before for sympathy but he was completely numb and couldn't even say anything. And when he tried it just came out in a ridiculous mess to say he didn't want anyone else.
Other people in the bookstore were beginning to stare because he was a grown man acting quite ridiculous.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She couldn't help it, she put her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, "Please be happy." she said softly, "You'll find someone amazing, someone who will give you exactly what you want and can make it all about you." Zoe just couldn't, she had to get herself together, she couldn't give Greed the type of attention he demanded. She wanted someone to love her and cuddle her and be there for her and he wasn't capable of it in her mind.
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 7:32 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
She hit him with a brick in the face and then in the gut. And it was embarrassing. It was humiliating to be the Sin of Greed and not even get what he wanted the most. She might as well have struck a child, that was the look on his face. He didn't even know how to get his bearings straight he just needed some air because it was quickly being clawed away. She'd just leapt off a cliff in his mind and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to respond to her.
He looked like he was stunned in shock. It was hitting him again and again and again. He felt sick and dizzy. He could faint and she would probably just walk away. Everything inside, even his nerves were burned. He was a ghost.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She didn't know how to explain it and finally blurted out softly, "It's not about you..." and she didn't think he could see it like that, he was viewing this as what it was doing to him, not her. "I'm not.. I'm not something you bought at a store, Greed.. I'm a person and I'm hurt and I can't handle any of this. I can't. And you're right, we're both broken so I can't take care of you, I can barely take care of myself and it's really obvious there's no one here to take care of me. So I have to do this. I have to do this for me."
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 7:24 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"Zoe I don't have anyone..." She knew that. He thought he was going to choke on his own words. Not only that but it felt like a dismissal. Not rejection so much as the fact that not only was she running from Evie and the fucked up situation but him too.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
If she didn't know his history with Evie, she would have thought it was romantic. But when he wanted Evie to stop stripping, he said he'd marry her. Not because he wanted to, it was just an ends to a mean. Her face reflected that, "Your job and your family and your life is here." she put her free hand to her forehead and shook her head, "I mean, do what you want, Greed, I don't control you."
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 7:16 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He could feel that bubble of fear rise up in a way that he was incredibly uncomfortable with, and before he could say anything else he just blurted out that he'd move with her.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"Grams and Theseus think... it's a good idea. They said they'll miss me but they think it might be for the best. I'm taking a semester off and I'm going to switch to a university out there to finish my degree next year. See what job I can get..." she was practically mumbling by now, not mentioning that she wouldn't have to face her ex-boyfriend dating her twin sister.
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 7:05 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
All this time that had passed and it wouldn't have mattered. She'd already decided this. "And they're letting you just leave?" His words got a little choked as he felt her slip right through his fingers again. He didn't even realize he'd gripped her hand tightly. He felt the world start to spin and spin and spin like a top.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"California." she tucked a short strand of hair behind her ear, "Theseus knows a guy who's looking to sublet his apartment near the beach...."
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 7:00 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He had a feeling in the way she announced it it was nowhere nearby. "Where?" He asked on a shaky voice.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She looked at his shirt and said quietly, "I'm moving, Greed...." she had told him the night she got drunk that she had been planning to ask Digger if he wanted to live together to give her grams and Theseus some newlywed space. She still felt that was the right thing to do.
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 6:55 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
His hand stilled. "You're so quiet---" that terrified him. There was more to her ignoring him and he felt that dangerous drop in his stomach.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
It hurt to have him touch her and she didn't say anything. She needed support in her life and she thought she'd found it with him but it had been running from one disaster into an explosion. She didn't move away from him but she still didn't look at him. She had to tell him her plans... which had already been put in motion but she was scared that he'd get violent again, that he'd shit on her for 'leaving him', when in reality she had to do this for herself. Yes, she was running, but she needed to run.
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 6:49 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote:
He had no idea she was leaving, so there was hope inside that if he apologized it would warrant a response he could have. He took his other hand, brushing his thumb over her cheek. "I can't lose you." The depth of how much it would destroy him to lose absolutely everything could be grave. "I moved out. I can't even afford the suite." He chucked a little bit it wasn't funny.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"I wasn't." she said, her hand warming under his. She had been trying to tell him she didn't want to lose him as a friend by complicating things with sex and he just destroyed everything because wouldn't give in to sex and she lost him anyway. She used her free hand to wipe at her eyes quickly.
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 6:43 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote:
"You're as broken as me. I made it worse. I was angry and the more you said no, the more I thought you were rejecting me." He'd pushed her away on his own.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Her hand stilled under his but she didn't look at him still and when he said sorry, tears came to her eyes. She didn't know if she believed he was sorry, she wanted to tho. "For what..." she asked softly.
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 6:37 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He'd do anything to keep her. The same crazed maniac that had said he'd marry Evie to keep her from dancing. He put his hand over hers to keep it from moving. She wouldn't look at him at all. "I'm----" it was like trying to yank a frog out of his throat from the pit of his stomach and it was hanging in the middle of his throat unable to move. Apologizing wasn't something he was used to, but he wondered if it would get him somewhere. "I'm sorry..."
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"Yes, that's what happens when someone doesn't want to talk to you." she said and went back to browsing the books on the shelves but it was just an excuse so she wouldn't have to look at him. her fingers paused on the spine when he admitted he fucked up but when he stopped after that, when he wouldn't or couldn't apologize, her fingers started to move again. She was listening.. but it didn't seem like he had anything to say.
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 6:30 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"You haven't returned any of my calls or texts." He knew he'd fucked this up pretty bad, and he was trying to make amends. "I wanted to talk to you." He was depressed and weary. "I fucked up. I---" he didn't know what to say.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She didn't answer him, hugging the book to her chest and feeling her heart racing. "He's my bodyguard and all I have to do is call him." she said it very pointedly and she didn't want to interrupt Theseus and her grandma but she knew Theseus would walk the three blocks to come beat up Greed if she asked and she wanted Greed to know it too.
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 6:24 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"You like vampire stories?" As if he were surprised. He took off his glasses so he could see her without tainted lenses. He was desperate to talk to her and see her that wasn't with Theseus. "I see your chaperone is finally gone."
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe had walked to a bookstore, she wanted to buy some new books to read on the plane. She was thumbing through a copy of an Anne Rice novel when she moved her glasses to the top of her head and looked up getting an uneasy feeling.
On Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 6:08 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed had found himself at one giant roadblock with Zoe. He had destroyed everything himself. His fantasy life with Evie, his life that he wanted with Zoe in it, even if he hadn't figured out what that was supposed to be.
His anger hadn't disappeared, and he couldn't stand to look at Evie right now without thinking of her sister. He still felt a disgusted streak up his spine that Digger had been at that apartment and had Evie, so he'd moved what shit he had to a hotel room he really couldn't afford now. His money was running thin until he could sell or steal what he needed. And in order to run Zoe down her tried for a much more lowkey appearance. He'd shaved his hair down to a foe hawk as well with some dark glasses. If she didn't suspect him to look casual maybe he could bombard her. He followed her like a shadow until she was a far enough distance that Theseus was no longer a threat. Then he approached her.
On Sunday, January 17, 2016, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Two weeks passed after Greed and Zoe's one night stand (in her mind). She wouldn't take his calls, she wouldn't see him. Her curtains and window remained closed and when Greed came to the door, Sophia would tell him Zoe didn't want to see him and if Zoe wanted to leave the apartment, normally Theseus accompanied her if they saw Greed skulking around. Theseus may not be as big as the Sin, but he was fiercely protective of his fiancee's grandchildren, Zoe didn't know why but she was grateful. She'd also quit her job and she wasn't at college since it was break. For the first time she stuck her head out of the building and scanned the street, she didn't see Greed so turned back to Theseus who was standing with her, "I think he finally gave up and went away... why don't you go back up to grams and have your dinner date."