After thousands of years, she still managed to surprise herself. She had thought her feelings locked up and safely stored away. Something to reflect on when she was another thousand years older (if mortals hadn't done away with her by then). As it turned out, that wasn't the case. Having Patrick so close just opened that box, and all of it came back in force.
She kept it to herself, not thinking it would be good for Patrick. He seemed to be getting better. She didn't feel the need to constantly watch him anymore, to see if he'd end it all. Scars like this would remain, but he had to let the wounds become scars and not pick them open. She hoped he was letting that happen.
So she kept it all to herself, and hoped time enough had passed that she could move on. She'd break her own heart if she stayed much longer. She didn't want her telling him about all this set him back from the progress he was making. Then again, leaving may just do the same.
It was complicated. She sighed as she looked out along the ocean before rising form the sand and brushing it off her skirt. She'd been out here long enough. There'd be no answers today. Quietly she moved into the cabin and to the kitchen, making herself some tea. She toyed with her hair as she waited for the water to boil, playing with the idea to cut it off. She had kept her hair long ever since she could remember, and wondered if it was time for change.