BUT IT'S TRUE. Leslie Hurst says hi, and asks y'all to treat him kind because he is a soft big ol' teddy bear and he just wants some love. He's a dreamy country boy who, sorry to say, doesn't really want to be here, but stays 'cause his folks want him to go to college. All Leslie wants to do is work on the family peach and strawberry farm back home in Ohio 'til he's an old old man, but he doesn't want to let his Ma and daddy Bobby down. He works at Red Stripe Grocery as a stocker, but otherwise doesn't talk to too many people.
So...help him be happy in Nearside, everybody. And give him a hand with figuring out what the hell he should do with his life. And with what to take at Nearside University.