go_mischief (go_mischief) wrote in na_electronics, @ 2013-11-28 22:21:00 |
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Entry tags: | loki |
Who: Loki Laufeyson (open to reaction)
Where: On the News (New York City)
When: Thursday, the new alternative of our Darkest of Fridays.
What: The Frost Giant is being a troll.
Rating: PG
Reporter: “Well, as many of you know, this year Black Friday arrived on a Thursday for many. Long lines, cold weather, and competitive fellow shoppers await the brave at these door buster events, and as promised, we are keeping you updated this holiday shopping season. However, we just got word that something has just unfolded at one of the stores. Jason has been on scene capturing more of the story. Jason?”
(Brief pause.) On scene-reporter: “That’s right. Just a few minutes earlier we received a call and after interviewing a few bystanders we think we have the pieces together. We all expect some mishaps during these events, but what we and these shoppers were not counting on was… a sorcerer jumping the line.” (Scene cuts to interviews.)
Bystander 1: “Aw, man, it was crazy. We were all waiting in line…” (Motions behind himself)
Store Associate in a blue shirt: “Everyone was counting down the time, you know, starting to chant it, all squeezing close to the door, and I go to open the door, get it unlocked, and these flames came out of nowhere behind me.”
Bystander 2: “FLAMES, man! *Beep*-ing flames! Out of nowhere! All green and *beep*!
Bystander 3: “And this guy, I mean, tall skinny thing in a suit, just starts striding through us, and I mean through us! I mean, RUDE! Absolutely RUDE!”
Bystander 1: “I mean, we’re all packed pretty tight, but he just muttered an ‘Excuse me’ at me, and just firmly pushed me against the others. I mean, it was like being pushed by a bulldozer, slow but insistent, and there was no way we weren’t moving at that point.”
Store Associate: “So I’m pressed close with the crowd. He walks right by me even though I tried to tell him- to say- to detain him, I mean. He walks through the wall of flame.”
Bystander 2: “And this one guy! This one guy thinks he’s going to be smart and see if the flames are an illusion! I mean, melted his whole coat sleeve!” (Grinning.)
Bystander 3: “That fellow was lucky he had his gloves on! He could have been hurt!”
On-Scene Reporter: (As security footage is showing Loki walking through the store, aloof and bored seeming as sales associates stand confused or nervously skirt away from him.) “That’s right. Flames. In what appeared to be one of the fiercest competitive moves by a shopper yet, flames barred the other Black Friday shoppers from entering the store but this one man, who has yet to be identified.”
Reporter in studio: “Has anyone been hurt?”
Reporter on scene: “Not as far as we know. Although reactions have certainly been… varied.”
(Scene cuts to interviews again.)
Bystander 1: “So we’re all huddled out in the cold, not knowing what to do, because there are flames in the way. And I told myself, you know, this isn’t worth. Not worth it at all. So I got out of there.”
Associate: “And I was scared for my coworkers. I mean, we’re always a little scared about Black Friday, ‘cause it can get crazy, but I couldn’t see what was going on inside and I didn’t know if anyone was hurt…”
Bystander 2: “And then this guy…!” (Starts to laugh.) “This guy! He looks around all wild like, and he is like ‘Oh my god, he’s probably going after the laptops!’” (Bystander starts laughing uncontrollably.) “I mean, we’ve got a magic *beep*-ing fire right in front of us, and instead of worrying if we’re all gonna *beep*-ing DIE, he is worried about his *beep*-ing shopping still! AHAHAHAH! Devoted right?!”
Bystander 3: (Shakes finger into camera angrily.) “See, this is a problem! There is no way anyone with mutant powers should be allowed on Black Friday! It is RUDE and UNFAIR and it's CHEATING! Do you know how long I camped here?!”
(Scene cuts to Loki at the checkout, looking at his boxed item with interest while holding cash out for the cashier, whose face is blurred out, but obviously is just staring at him unmoving.)
Reporter in studio: “So what was so important that this man had to resort to arson to get ahead of Black Friday shoppers?”
(Loki looks at the staring cashier, frowns, rolls his eyes up and shakes his head before just setting the two hundred dollar bills down and stepping back, looking now at the camera.)
Reporter on scene: “A kindle fire, of all things. Then as you see he looks at the camera, smiles, gives a small wave while mouthing something, and disappears. Just… like… that.”
Associate: “Then suddenly the fire disappeared. I mean, it didn’t leave a mark. Most bizarre thing I have ever seen… Well. In person.”
Bystander 2: (Still laughing.) “And he still overpaid! After all of that! It was like a big *beep*-ing joke on the guy’s part!”
Bystander 3: “... I still got the TV I wanted. No way was that rude man stopping me.”
Reporter on scene: “So as you can see, everyone keep on the lookout, and be safe while shop-”
(SHIELD LOGO BLANKS OUT SCREEN WITH A STANDBY MESSAGE.)