You Know Who You Are (and everyone else please disregard):
Was the smiley face really necessary?
Unless I was robbed by 5-year-old girls, I can only assume that you know just as well as I that faerie wings do not exist even though I spent all of last night and today trying to find them anyway. So the purpose of asking for such nonsense and knowing that I will inevitably fail eludes me, but I can only guess that you wish me desperate to appease you. Fine, you won.
The lamb that you took was hardly my most valuable, and with an injured leg I doubt she is much use to you at all. I'd offer you money or any of my belongings in exchange for her return, but I suspect if that's what you wished for you would have asked for it in the first place.
So the only conclusion I can come to that prompted this is that I affronted you in some way I am unaware, and for that I am apologetic for the misunderstanding. I hope you burn.
Please make a more realistic request so I do not have to face you empty-handed.