[ filter: pheme ]
Still doesn't mean I can't feel something about it.
If there's something I've learned in the past couple of months is that nothing goes as you want it or how you expect it. At some point, the biggest reveals in your life just put you in a position where you've got nothing you can say without looking real stupid.
The reason why I'm stuck on your mother is because she's still more real to me than you. Don't go and take that all the wrong way, alright? It's just that I remember her face, a voice. I remember things perfectly PG to make her very real. You, even while we're talking, still are words on a screen. Part of me thinks you're still not real, to be honest. It's hard to, it's hard to just swallow any of this down and move on after being verbally slammed against the wall. And asking about you like this would be the least appropriate or sensitive thing to do. Almost insulting to get to know your own kid over the internet, like we don't live in the same city. Not that I'm saying we should do lunch and be BFFs but I'm not rejecting the idea of getting to know you either. I just need to get answers. And to stop feeling so fucking weird.
You seem really, really set on reminding me about your uncle and thinking I want to meddle there, you know. I don't. I might feel overwhelmed about you being biologically mine, but I've been a lawyer for long enough and a man with a crazy-ass family to know blood's more of a problem than much else. And seeing as you're attached to this uncle of yours, he's probably as real of a daddy as any other.