My life was perfectly normal until I got an email to check this place out AND THEN SUDDENLY EVIL FAIRIES WERE TRYING TO KILL ME AND MAKE SURE I FLUNK OUT OF COLLEGE????? And then all that stuff about no happy endings, who actually says stuff like that? IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE, SICK, TWISTED PEOPLE?
...I want out. I WANT A HAPPY ENDING. LET ME LIVE IN PEACE.