Wilhelmina Corte-Real (helel) wrote in mythopoeics, @ 2012-10-01 00:15:00 |
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Entry tags: | !mini-log, helen |
[How do you deal with everything when everything is hurting? Helen feels there is something inside her chest folding and gnawing at her ribcage, beating its way around - restless and unhappy. Helen isn't good at any of this, she was perhaps at her best behaving like a little girl- running around and getting her knees scrapped from falls, her hair tangled from rolling in the fields. Helen was always so free spirted, marriage had been a chain. To all three of them, she didn't want that kind of hold on her right now.
Maybe not ever.
Even having a daughter... it didn't mean Helen didn't love Hermione, because she did- but she was a reminder of being tied down. Helen didn't want that either, she didn't want the responsibilities that came with what she recalled being a wife. It was an old memory, but still there.
She makes a copy of her apartment key and stores it away, it is a grand gesture to be made, but the timing isn't right just yet. It haunts Helen to think that might never come, and then what would she do? It wasn't a question of not loving her husband, had it been that, she would've found someone else.
Helen doesn't want to lose him, and that is why she's trying to do this, even though her palms press over her eyes and she stifles the urge to cry. The playfulness evaporates, and there is no choice left to her. What to do when communications broke down?]